A lot of things that happen in movies tend to follow a particular formula. This isn’t always a bad thing; it means that you know when something big is about to kick off, or when someone is about to get killed.

The only problem is that in the real world, a lot of these movie lies could be seriously dangerous for your health. While it’s unlikely you’ll find yourself these situations, it doesn’t hurt to be prepared!

If watching American movies is your source of fighting tips, you will have a re-think after reading this listicle

10. Landing On A Car (In A Dumpster) Is Going To Break Your Fall


For anyone who has played Assassin’s Creed, falling into a dumpster is the equivalent of surviving a 100ft fall into a barrel of hay.

If you manage to hit your target (difficult enough as it is), there’s also the fact that – much like hitting water at high velocity – you’re going to break your neck. But let’s imagine you do survive: congratulations – now all you need to deal with are the various discarded syringes protruding from your face.

9. You Can Hold Your Breath For Ages


Now we are sure there are people with a lifetime of experience in deep sea diving who might look at people in movies swimming frantically from one submerged room to the next and think, “Is that all you’ve got?!”

For the average Adamu or Tunde, however – you’re not going to last more than a minute or two.

8. A Clip Of Ammo Lasts For Ages


This one is pretty common – but for that reason, it has to go on the list. You know the scenario: our hero has decided to charge through the 20-something bad guys in the room.

Out comes his pistol: he fires relentlessly until there isn’t a soul left alive. The only catch in this situation is that he just let off a good 40 bullets from one – I repeat, one – magazine!

Your standard civilian pistol will hold 8-10 rounds, a military grade pistol more like 15 – and even if you have an extended magazine (which our hero doesn’t according to our eyes) you’ll be limited to about 30 rounds. Let’s hope you’re not facing a whole army.

7. Throwing Your Gun Away Is A Logical Thing To Do

As a follow on from number eight: once the hero of the movie is done with his weapon, he simply casts it aside.

Now if you’re going to pick up an enemy’s weapon due to lack of ammo, that’s all fine and dandy. Otherwise, it would make sense to hold on to your own gun; it’s probably going to be easier (and cheaper) to get some more ammo than a whole new gun.

6 Automatic Gunfire Is Easy To Avoid


According to American movies, most humans have an electromagnetic charge around their bodies, which means that bullets are going to be deflected away from us in most situations. Ok, this might be false – the first part is true, but definitely not the second.

That being said, how is it possible that one man (or woman) is able to avoid a hail of automatic gunfire? Obviously it wouldn’t be as much fun to watch if the hero of a movie was cut down within ten seconds of the first big action scene – but there are times when you’re watching just thinking “Come on, at least take one hit, I want to believe!”

The lesson? Chances are that in a gunfight, you’ll be hit – early. And you won’t be able to keep running to the open doors of the waiting helicopter.

5. A Group Of Martial Artists Will Attack You One By One

Martial artists are more likely than most to believe in concepts such as honor and respect – but in a situation where our hero is pissed off and out for blood, it probably isn’t the best time to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Best case, he dislocates a shoulder or breaks an elbow; worst case, he snaps your neck, throws you off a very high place – or stabs you.

Instead of respecting your martial arts training, it would make more sense in this situation to throw caution to the wind and bundle the dude!

It’s not stylish, it’s not exactly nice – but the point is that you want to come out on top.



4. You Can Set Things Alight With Cheap Booze


This one could easily fall into a heated debate about the chemical make up of alcohol and the various proofs required for alcohol to be considered flammable. One reason it has been included is because of the way it’s portrayed in movies: one swig of Jack Daniels and a Zippo lighter – hey presto, you’re a human flamethrower!

For the kind of super-quick fire lighting that graces most movies, you would need the kind of alcohol no one should go drinking any time soon – if it’s potent enough to flammable, then it’s probably poisonous, too. This means that if the scene is set in a public place such as a bar, you’re going to have much more of the clientele resembling corpses than you imagined.

3 You Can Train Yourself To Becoming A Killing Machine

This one has been done to death – but to leave it out would be to ignore the elephant in the room.

If you want to become a killing machine, it’s going to take months, if not years of intense training – and in the case of most movies, an excellent documentary maker who can catalogue the events for a quick four-minute summary when it gets turned into a movie.

2. Explosions Are Nothing More Than A Blast Of Hot Air

Set explosives; turn; run; and jump! That’s all there is to it- and once you’ve mastered these simple steps, you can survive any explosion… or perhaps not. A hand grenade has a kill radius of about 5 meters (and an injury radius of 15);

When you think that buildings are normally stuffed like a piñata in movies, this is going to be a lot wider – not to mention the shrapnel hurtling through the air.

Basically: if there is an explosion, you’d want something very sturdy between you and the source. Alternatively you’d want to be very far away in the first place, and not take a chance at trying to outrun an explosion.

1. Turning Over A Table Will Keep You Safe From Gunfire


It’s an age-old idea: if you turn over a table during a gunfight, you can sit tight until you’re ready to pop up and fire another round.

Unfortunately, you’re not going to do so well if this were a real life situation – you should find some more substantial cover, or scram!

Even a wall isn’t going to do much good.


What movie fighting skill do you know would not work in real life? Let us know in the comment section below

http://giftedgreen.com/2014/blog/2015/01/05/10-fighting-tips-from-american-movies-that-will-get-you-killed-in-real-life/

A trial will convince u

After taking so much hits and breaking quite a reasonable number of ribs from the beginning of the fight, our dear hero, as though by the wave of a magical wand, miraculously surges to life and floors the 'boss', through calculated and artistically delivered combos, most usually captured in slow mo....

Hehehe.....I pity your sorry bottom if you think that's what obtains in real life.

Giftedgreen:

3 You Can Train Yourself To Becoming A Killing Machine

This one has been done to death – but to leave it out would be to ignore the elephant in the room.

If you want to become a killing machine, it’s going to take months, if not years of intense training – and in the case of most movies, an excellent documentary maker who can catalogue the events for a quick four-minute summary when it gets turned into a movie.

You can fling a sword like no one's business...even stop a blade with your bare hands. Na die be dat for real life!!

Do I smell FP?
YES I DO!!!

Never mind dying, your heavy artillery wielding friends will burst out from nowhere to save you from any meekly death.

You also see this quite an awful number of times in movies. After attempting every trick in the book but still failing to win the fight, even after slaying a ridiculous number of evil opponents. In those moments after your capture, after the evil oga has laughed all over your face and mocked all there is to mock, just before you are brought to ultimate shame, via whatever means it be, a sword, rifle, or mere knife, you are going to be rescued by old (a la knight in a shiny armour) friends.

Please don't be stupid.

Lol. Old Hollywood movies are funny abeg. It's a good thing we now consider them old tho.

Nor mind them jareh...Na so Jack Bauer go dey bobo us

If na real life im for don die tey tey

seriously a group of 10bad guys is face to face with OUR DEAR HERO n wad u c is........one after de oda fight!wen de first one receives a jab n falls,number 2 guy just got his own liver to fight den n so on till OUR DEAR HERO has murdered 10 guys in a flawless victory........




chai..actor u tyt ooooo

This Reminds me Bruce Willis in diehard. Dude kept going tougher after going through some bone crushing and skin tearing injuries.

Funny

LMAO. American movies dey bobo us well. At some point I lost interest in action movies.

Teehee, totally enjoyed this. Nice to have a 'Nollywood-bashing break'. Why hasn't this made Front Page?

Lmfao....@least American movies dey bearable you guy should see bollywood action movies.na so actor go come back from d death to safe his damsel. B4 i forget their actor go face 30 bad guyz with no weapon n na dem go still dey fear to near am