A wedding is as much a day to celebrate a couple as
it is an occasion for family and friends to come
together, catch up on old times and reunite.
However, that happy event can turn into a major
bore if you get stuck with a fellow guest who just
dampens your mood.
Here are 5 kinds of people you should dodge when you attend a wedding.
1. The person with a new Iphone 6: 'Do you mind
if I get a close-up of your nails? Ta lo ba e se
mehn, O get French tips yen gan... (Translation:
who fixed them for you, men? They got the
French tips right...) Aunty calm down,we know
sey na person house rent you carry for hand.
2. The deceptively cute flower girl: She is three.
She is sweet and she is going to hug you with her
cake smooched hands, pray you are not wearing
white and the bride's hot male cousin couldn't
make it for the wedding.
3. The 'Mo gbo mo ya' (uninvited) guest: She's
been standing alone near the catering stand
looking like a serial killer for an hour now.
4.Mummy London: A friend of the bride's mum
who really hates dancing, the 2000's and as every
wrong thing to say about every fly that flies.
"Awon omo de isi yin, won a ko ma ma judi ka
kiri nonchalantly ninu these overtly tight
dresses... (Translation: All these children of
nowadays, they'll just be shaking their bum
anyhow in these overtly tight dresses). " Until a
particular song comes on and now she's Tina
Turner and the gele comes off.
5. The mother of the next bride-to-be: In her
'Madam Kofo' inspired ice-cream cone gele,
always ready with offensive, unsolicated words of
wisdom. When she starts with the bride... "La le
yi, igberin lo gbo do wo le, ko ya gba da da...
(Translation: This night, you will conceive
quadruplets so you better 'play' it well)."
Take off because she is coming for you. "Iwo ti e wa
na, igba wo lo ma mu oko wa le, e o kin se omode
mo, o fe di arugbo ojo si le daddy e ni? By the way,
omo mi n wed next month, England la ma lo se white
wedding... (Translation: So you're even here, when
will you bring a man home? You're no longer a child,
do you want to become an old woman in your
father's house? By the way, my child is getting
married next month and we're having the wedding in
England."
Written by Tobi Aloba (IG - MZNEONNG).