Pls sm1 should send me d link to 'the devil who loved me'

lumzybo:



Don't wanna b left behind



Twenty-threed

Twenty-fvck'dFourthed

adeh39:


Chaai! Davidflo where are you nah
I am tempted to be the Eightenthed ooo

#TEAM SCENT

chai.. So u dey hia too??

Chadso:
chai.. So u dey hia too??

Yes nah
I am everywhere

#TEAM SCENT

suxxman:

Twenty-fvck'dFourthed

Where will i say I am....
TWENTY-FIFTHED

Something that I couldn’t fathom had changed about me as I strolled with Bauchi back to the flat. Listening to him tell me stories about hustle and the thin line between being good and bad struck many cords in my soul.
Before we entered our flat, he excused himself, saying he had something to do. I wasn’t actually looking forward to him sleeping in the same room with me, naked.
Kiki and Ezekiel were in the sitting room when I walked in. The faint aroma of lipton tea filled the air. They ignored me as I approached, but I didn’t blame them, after all I was in camp devil.
“Kiki, Twinnie of life, howfar?”
She eyed me in a way that only girls could.
“Hope you people spent the money well, because the lord of hosts will surely take it back from you,” Ezekiel said.
I could see he was enjoying his new found closeness with Kiki.
“Kiki, I am sorry,” I said.
“Kiki is he really sorry?” Ezekiel asked like I wasn’t in the room.
“I have been watching him since that beast called Bauchi entered this apartment, Fifi is lost.”
“Don’t call Bauchi a beast,” Kiki said.
I sat down beside her; I was enveloped in her sweet fragrance.
“You betrayed me, Fifi,” she said, standing up to get her kettle of Lipton tea.
I quickly followed her.
“I didn’t, I just did all that for the sake of peace. Moreover, I am sure he is sorry. Bauchi is a good guy.”
“What? He has bribed you with part of the loot. You are actually saying Bauchi is a good guy?”
“He is. He might be unrefined but he is.”
I caught a faint smile on her lips as I talked about Bauchi. She was really in love with the dude.
“Where is the idiot?” she asked.
“I don’t know, but he should be back soon.”
“I left a plate of spaghetti for both of you, it’s not much but then, it’s part of your punishment.”
“You are the best, Kiki.”
I hugged her from behind, my crotch perfectly fitting in between her bums. My hands went round her waist. It was a harmless action but my senses caught up on their own, I lingered a while longer before detaching myself. She had the softest bum ever. I wondered if she wore any panties.
When Bauchi came into the apartment, I was already in my room while Kiki and Ezekiel were igniting their new fund friendship in the parlour. I heard ‘Jesus!’ and fearing for Ezekiel’s safety, I ran to the parlour as fast as my legs could take me.
In front of Kiki was Bauchi holding a He-goat and prophesying his undying love for her.
“Bauchi, are you making fun of me, how would you buy me a goat?”
“Totally unacceptable, you buy a girl a flower or a perfume, never a goat!” Ezekiel said from the new position he was as he was apparently scared of the goat.
I wasn’t scared of the goat or had any problems if Bauchi wanted to buy his girlfriend a freaking pig, what bugged me was the fact that the goat seemed to be suffering from diarrhoea and was dropping pellets of faeces all over my floor.
“Kiki, I am sorry. It was a lapse of Judgement on my side. It will never repeat itself again,” Bauchi pleaded.
Kiki stood up and left for her room, leaving the goat, Bauchi, Ezekiel and I.
“Brother Bauchi, I know right now you regret your actions, can I ask when I would be getting my money back?”
“You will get it as soon as Jesus comes. I hear you tell all the children in the Block that it won’t be long, right?”
“You are a beast!” Ezekiel replied then fumed into his room with his oversized trousers that only a very tight belt held in place.
“Bros, how we go do this goat now?”
“I no understand, my man.”
“Are you going to return it or are we going to kill and eat it?”
He shook his head as if I had said the most incredulous thing ever.
“Fifi my fine man, if you forget anything wey I tell you today, no forget say I tell you say, never like any particular girl too much. But if the gods curse you and you find yourself in that perilous position, don’t ever let her know. Kiki is my biggest problem in this life and probably till afterlife.”
Many a time, I wondered how Bauchi processed his thoughts; I wondered how he saw life. From all I have been able to decipher, he was a street boy that didn’t live according to norms. But I wondered why he sounded so philosophical, I didn’t agree with most of his sayings but I still found them interesting.
“Bros, you never answer me oh. Wetin we go do with this goat?”
“It is a symbol of my love for Kiki, we nurture it till she allows me back into her life and pants,” he said with a wink.
He tried one last time to enter her room but she didn’t open the door to him, so he pulled of his clothes as usual and joined me inside mine.
We could hear the goat bleating, it was annoying. Bauchi doesn’t clean the house. Kiki did, with most of her attention in the kitchen. Ezekiel did his bit. I doubted if any of them was going to pack the goat shit in the morning.
Bauchi had headphones on, that was the only thing he had on listening to D’banjs ‘Tongolo’. It was loud I could hear him.
I tapped him angrily telling him I couldn’t sleep with all the sounds the goat was making. He apologised and went to get it. The next thing I knew, Ezekiel’s door was opened, he took the guy’s key from the keyhole, pushed the goat inside and locked the door from outside the room.
“Jesus, precious blood of Jesus what is this?” Ezekiel screamed.
Bauchi came back to the room with Ezekiel’s key in his grasp.
“Oh my lord, this is enough, enough is enough. Why am I being so persecuted by wicked men of this world, oh my lord!”
Bauchi settled down beside me, his headphones were back on. I could hear Ezekiel pace around the room, the goat’s bleat seemed to coincide with the prayers his roommate was saying.
After threatening fire and brimstones, with no much success, he started begging.
“Bauchi forgive me, please open the door. Forget about the money, just open the door. This goat is shitting everywhere.”
Only if he knew that Bauchi was snoring.
He banged the door, crashed on it a couple of times to force it open then he gave up.
“Unto thee O’lord do I lift up my soul ....” he sang into the night




twenty-sixthed.

davidflo:

Something that I couldn’t fathom had changed about me as I strolled with Bauchi back to the flat. Listening to him tell me stories about hustle and the thin line between being good and bad struck many cords in my soul.
Before we entered our flat, he excused himself, saying he had something to do. I wasn’t actually looking forward to him sleeping in the same room with me, naked.
Kiki and Ezekiel were in the sitting room when I walked in. The faint aroma of lipton tea filled the air. They ignored me as I approached, but I didn’t blame them, after all I was in camp devil.
“Kiki, Twinnie of life, howfar?”
She eyed me in a way that only girls could.
“Hope you people spent the money well, because the lord of hosts will surely take it back from you,” Ezekiel said.
I could see he was enjoying his new found closeness with Kiki.
“Kiki, I am sorry,” I said.
“Kiki is he really sorry?” Ezekiel asked like I wasn’t in the room.
“I have been watching him since that beast called Bauchi entered this apartment, Fifi is lost.”
“Don’t call Bauchi a beast,” Kiki said.
I sat down beside her; I was enveloped in her sweet fragrance.
“You betrayed me, Fifi,” she said, standing up to get her kettle of Lipton tea.
I quickly followed her.
“I didn’t, I just did all that for the sake of peace. Moreover, I am sure he is sorry. Bauchi is a good guy.”
“What? He has bribed you with part of the loot. You are actually saying Bauchi is a good guy?”
“He is. He might be unrefined but he is.”
I caught a faint smile on her lips as I talked about Bauchi. She was really in love with the dude.
“Where is the idiot?” she asked.
“I don’t know, but he should be back soon.”
“I left a plate of spaghetti for both of you, it’s not much but then, it’s part of your punishment.”
“You are the best, Kiki.”
I hugged her from behind, my crotch perfectly fitting in between her bums. My hands went round her waist. It was a harmless action but my senses caught up on their own, I lingered a while longer before detaching myself. She had the softest bum ever. I wondered if she wore any panties.
When Bauchi came into the apartment, I was already in my room while Kiki and Ezekiel were igniting their new fund friendship in the parlour. I heard ‘Jesus!’ and fearing for Ezekiel’s safety, I ran to the parlour as fast as my legs could take me.
In front of Kiki was Bauchi holding a He-goat and prophesying his undying love for her.
“Bauchi, are you making fun of me, how would you buy me a goat?”
“Totally unacceptable, you buy a girl a flower or a perfume, never a goat!” Ezekiel said from the new position he was as he was apparently scared of the goat.
I wasn’t scared of the goat or had any problems if Bauchi wanted to buy his girlfriend a freaking pig, what bugged me was the fact that the goat seemed to be suffering from diarrhoea and was dropping pellets of faeces all over my floor.
“Kiki, I am sorry. It was a lapse of Judgement on my side. It will never repeat itself again,” Bauchi pleaded.
Kiki stood up and left for her room, leaving the goat, Bauchi, Ezekiel and I.
“Brother Bauchi, I know right now you regret your actions, can I ask when I would be getting my money back?”
“You will get it as soon as Jesus comes. I hear you tell all the children in the Block that it won’t be long, right?”
“You are a beast!” Ezekiel replied then fumed into his room with his oversized trousers that only a very tight belt held in place.
“Bros, how we go do this goat now?”
“I no understand, my man.”
“Are you going to return it or are we going to kill and eat it?”
He shook his head as if I had said the most incredulous thing ever.
“Fifi my fine man, if you forget anything wey I tell you today, no forget say I tell you say, never like any particular girl too much. But if the gods curse you and you find yourself in that perilous position, don’t ever let her know. Kiki is my biggest problem in this life and probably till afterlife.”
Many a time, I wondered how Bauchi processed his thoughts; I wondered how he saw life. From all I have been able to decipher, he was a street boy that didn’t live according to norms. But I wondered why he sounded so philosophical, I didn’t agree with most of his sayings but I still found them interesting.
“Bros, you never answer me oh. Wetin we go do with this goat?”
“It is a symbol of my love for Kiki, we nurture it till she allows me back into her life and pants,” he said with a wink.
He tried one last time to enter her room but she didn’t open the door to him, so he pulled of his clothes as usual and joined me inside mine.
We could hear the goat bleating, it was annoying. Bauchi doesn’t clean the house. Kiki did, with most of her attention in the kitchen. Ezekiel did his bit. I doubted if any of them was going to pack the goat shit in the morning.
Bauchi had headphones on, that was the only thing he had on listening to D’banjs ‘Tongolo’. It was loud I could hear him.
I tapped him angrily telling him I couldn’t sleep with all the sounds the goat was making. He apologised and went to get it. The next thing I knew, Ezekiel’s door was opened, he took the guy’s key from the keyhole, pushed the goat inside and locked the door from outside the room.
“Jesus, precious blood of Jesus what is this?” Ezekiel screamed.
Bauchi came back to the room with Ezekiel’s key in his grasp.
“Oh my lord, this is enough, enough is enough. Why am I being so persecuted by wicked men of this world, oh my lord!”
Bauchi settled down beside me, his headphones were back on. I could hear Ezekiel pace around the room, the goat’s bleat seemed to coincide with the prayers his roommate was saying.
After threatening fire and brimstones, with no much success, he started begging.
“Bauchi forgive me, please open the door. Forget about the money, just open the door. This goat is shitting everywhere.”
Only if he knew that Bauchi was snoring.
He banged the door, crashed on it a couple of times to force it open then he gave up.
“Unto thee O’lord do I lift up my soul ....” he sang into the night




twenty-sixthed.

my guy thanks oo but where u go.....in the mean time 27thed

I was getting tired of the fight between Kiki and Bauchi. It was more than three weeks since they had stopped talking to each other. Bauchi even mentioned his decision to leave the apartment for good. Hanatu was home for mid-term break and although she spent most of her time with Oge, I was still blessed by her presence. Oge was another story. We weren’t even in speaking terms anymore. Her love life with the ugly bros Emma (greatly exaggerated, even Kiki said he was a fine man) was now public consumption. They flirted all around the estate, from their catholic church to the Suya guy’s stand.... from the market to the salon. I don’t know if it was the pregnancy, but the stupid girl was getting finer.
The goat was yet another issue; it was growing on all of us except Ezekiel. Kiki sprayed her expensive perfumes on it. Bauchi named him ‘Rudolf’ and the name stuck. We took turns in bathing it and packing its faeces before it started to smell. Bauchi demarcated section of my parlour for it. Actually the area was the middle of my parlour. Hanatu became a fan of the white he-goat too; she was also a fan of Bauchi.
When she was leaving back for school, Bauchi gave her a ‘Ghana must go’ bag filled with provisions. He promised her that he wouldn’t marry anybody until she grew old enough to be his wife, he would wait for her. She was old enough to know he was kidding with her, but I saw she liked it. She liked the way he spoke and the way he called her Hanamama. He didn’t move around the apartment naked throughout her holiday, I saw he wasn’t comfortable about it but it was better for everybody else. Hanatu told me she didn’t like Kiki, I didn’t know if it was because her mentor, Oge didn’t like her or because she had joined the Bauchi lovers association. I became worried of the kind of guy my little sister would get attracted to when she grows.
That I say Bauchi and Kiki were still fighting just meant they didn’t talk to each other. It doesn’t mean they didn’t fvck each other. Sometimes, while we have settled to sleep, Kiki would scream his name from her room and in a jiffy, he would be gone, only for him to return moments later with a smirk on his face, some thirty minutes later. Seems as soon as he came, she pushes him out the door.
Ezekiel stopped talking to Bauchi since he was forced to spend the night with Rudolf. He was the only one enjoying the malice in the apartment because Kiki made it a point of duty to serve him the biggest portion of her meals even though, Bauchi dropped the money used. I seldom did.

“How did you meet Kiki?” I asked him one of those nights when he slept beside me.
“My man, I met Kiki a long time ago,” He said smacking his lips.
“Her father was this military officer that needed a driver, they lived in Ikotun then, she was in Secondary school. I had just freshly dropped out of the university and needed food to survive. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen but our age difference was an issue. Another issue was the fact that she was from an affluent home and I was a common driver.”
The story was getting interesting.
“So how did you ask her out?”
“Patience my man, we will get there.”
I was actually patient, I didn’t mind if he spoke all night.
“You see, while I was the driver, they had a Guard and a maid. Her mother was n Obese, rude, awful lady with the maddest ass on this side of the Atlantic but this is not about her mother, right, my man?”
“Not at all bros.”
“I liked her since the moment I saw her but I was too scruffy looking. Plus she had many boys sneaking into the premises when her folks weren’t around, guys in the university sef. So I doubted if she ever felt same. But the Guard brought it to my notice one day that Kiki looked at me with pleasure in her eyes. That guy dey crase but this isn’t about the guard, right, my man?”
“No, sir.”
“The Guard said my meat was usually the biggest and she was always very polite to me. I thought it was because was slightly educated. One day, I saw her crying in the compound, I felt she was lonely as her people had travelled, so I took out her father’s 504 and drove her around town. See that day, I spoilt her. Her first alcohol and her first clubbing happened that day. You can ask her.”
“I believe you.”
“When we got back to the house in the early hours of the morning, after pleading with her not to tell her father, she asked me why I wasn’t interested in knowing why she had been crying. I told her I felt it was because she was alone. She said she had been molested by one of the guys that came around earlier. He had forcefully fondled her breast and almost fingered her. My man, if there is nothing you remember from what I tell you, please remember that a woman’s ‘no’ is no! Even if her body is saying yes, as long as you hear the word ‘stop’, stop touching or entering her.
“Okay,” I replied.
“I listened to her and told her it was alright, we should be glad that she wasn’t raped. That was when I heard whosaaaai on my face. She said how dare I say she wasn’t raped, that the guy had raped her soul. I apologised and went to the BQ, my supposed wonderful night was over. Some hours later, around 4am I heard a knock on the door, I expected it to be the Guard who liked to beg for weed at odd hours. It wasn’t the guard, it was Kikelomo.”
I am ashamed to say I was getting aroused.
“So she said she came to apologise and all, she came with fried chicken in plastic plates but we didn’t get to eat it as I don’t know what came over me but I kissed her full on the lips. She didn’t respond and I was already regretting my boldness when she opened her month. She lost her final virginity that morning.”
“You be bad guy oh.”I said admiringly.
“Few weeks later, her mother caught her in my room, sitting on my leg. Her father chased me away with a loaded pump-action. I didn’t take one shirt sef out of the house”

“You guys have been dating since them?”
“Yes, my good man.”
Just as he wanted to continue, he heard her scream his name.
“Gimme 1 hour, make I go, come back”
More like 30 minutes, but I kept that to myself, which guy doesn’t want to believe he lasts longer?

My niqqa davidFlo

Refreshed!!!


@davidflo, pls don't make us do the number counting ish again.

Stay blessed

Davidflo i must cumfess that u are one hell of a fvcking good writer but mean while untill u update i remaine no one.

Go Team Bauchi!!!

I am really liking this Bauchi Dude...


Ritababe

davidlo, e kaabo.. u see d number wey u sef pick from d countdown?? we were all waiting for u but e good as u take come now.. I hope we r not gonna reach number 445 before u come ad update anoda one again because ds time me sef go follow count number o.. weldone and thanks..

Thanks man.....,wagbayi

More updates please

davidflo kudos man... u gat great writing skills man... just completed 'the devil who loved me '

I ve been a fan of urs followingfrom the Devil who loved me till date Nice post keep it up. Jst wish nigeria movie script writers can come to u for some lectures on hw to write good, captivating nd moral stories.

olojuede01:
Go Team Bauchi!!!
I am really liking this Bauchi Dude...

Ritababe

sup.
hi guys please endeavor to vote lekinz for Mr nairaland on Monday tnx.
@davidflo abeg no vex oh

Nice update. Wlc back

[size=18pt]I will not read this story until the writer concludes![/size]





I can't be patient to wait anymore.

Damn! I'm hooked!!

Gr8 story, a job weldone

David yaff go again o.

More ink 2 ur pen man, but mek d updates more frequent ok? 28thed

Dis davidflo don turn me 2 nairaland freak sha

The 2nd to last update got me laughing out loud like seriously, Bauchi must be a guy from another palnet, Ezekiel iyaf sufad..


Davidflo keep it coming man, I gat yo baq..

Fifi-Bauchi-Kiki-Ezekiel

My man...keeeeeep it coming

Three weeks to the start of GCE, Kiki and Bauchi were still at loggerheads with each other, Ezekiel hated his guts, and he didn’t seem to care. I was his only ally in the house and it was something I felt comfortable about.
Oge’s protruding stomach was getting noticeable; her wedding ceremony with bros Emma was the next Saturday. Tope and Ugo were around briefly, I was very happy to be with them again.
Ugo complained about the dilapidated state of the Police College, he told us stories of having to defecate in the bush and sometimes go days without bathing because there was no water and the well was dry. He described the opulence of the senior rank and how the money from the federal government never filtered to the bottom. He said he fully understood why cops collected 20Naira on the streets from commuters. It was a process of our bosses collect from the government, we collect from the people.
Tope on the other hand was still the same, except that he had a new friend. Her name was Uju, she was a law student like he was. She visited him while we sat in a bar by Zone A car park. I was surprised when she walked in; I think Ugo was also because we didn’t believe tope could score a girl as cute as that.
“Guys, meet my queen and life,” he said, blushing as she sat beside him.
Bauchi had taught me to stand when a girl was on her feet or has just entered a room in which I am, so I stood to shake her. Ugo just followed suit like a zombie.
“Nice to meet you, I have heard so much about you,” I said, though I didn’t know anything about her. She smiled gladly.
We ordered Maltina for her while the others took their Lagers; I was in love with Guinness. I kept stealing glances at Uju, didn’t she see what we saw or was she blind?
“My man!” a voice screamed that was unmistakably Bauchi’s. With him was a guy that we all knew in the area, his name was Odogwu. Odogwu was short, black and pot bellied. He was also a notorious Igbo seller who found himself in the police then regularly. Mothers used him as a warning to their children...’you will end up like Odogwu if you don’t take time’, ‘that boy has started smoking igbo like Odogwu’, those were just a few.
Though we had grown, we still feared him; I was equally shocked when Bauchi led him to our table. They joined us with their seats with no invitation.
“Oh my God, sweet banana,” Bauchi said kissing Uju on the extended hand she had expected to receive a handshake with.
“Hello,” she said.
Tope unconsciously placed his left hand on his temple.
“This your skin fine die, abi Odogwu?” Bauchi asked his semi drunk friend.
“Nna meeeen, she fresh die, if no be say anything like that, I for just chance am from this men dem.”
Tope let out something that was supposed to be a laugh but came out more as a shriek.
“Bros Bauchi, na my guy chic o,” I quickly added.
“Ahn ahn, we know na, we are just paying compliments, though I must admit she is as fine as the devil’s mistress.”
Uju hiccups came from nowhere.
I guess she started feeling uncomfortable because she excused herself to leave after a while, Odogwu wanted to leave to so Bauchi saw him off, telling me to wait for him so that we could go home together.
“That Bauchi guy is strange,” Ugo said, taking a cup from his second bottle.
“Make sure you arrest him as soon as you have the license to.”
“For what offence, specifically?” Ugo asked.
I thought about all Bauchi had told me, about what he had done and still does.
“Just arrest him for being Bauchi,” I said, chuckling.
He looked at me with penetrating gaze; he must have thought there was something I was trying to say. I changed the topic.
“So your sister is getting married this weekend?”
“Yes, my little sister is. I don’t like Emma, but I’m glad he didn’t deny the pregnancy.”
“Yes, he took responsibility.”
“Well he is the only person to have slept with her, so he had to,” he added.
I almost choked on the black brew.
“True...very true,” I said looking at the bottle in front of me.
Tope came back and some minutes later, Bauchi entered too.
He ordered the barman to give him another bottle. We had exhausted the money we brought t the bar, so I told him I was sorry and wouldn’t be able to pay for his beer.
“Oh Fifi, after all I had taught you, you are not guided,” he said, opening the very could stout.
I couldn’t remember this particular lesson, I swear.
“Guys, please if there is nothing you learn from drinking in this filthy bar, learn that whenever you go to drink, always have extra for your friends that might stumble in, because it is wrong to deny a true friend a drink.”
We nodded.
“There is a tale about Ogun, the god of iron that I want to share with you. He was still a man then. He went to farm and on his way back he saw a house in a distance, in front of the house was a bench and on the bench was a calabash.”
I loved Bauchi’s stories; we were all listening with rapt attention.
“Ogun was glad to see the calabash, as he was glad that he would have a drink of palm-wine before continuing his journey. On getting to the house, he saw that the calabash was empty; there wasn’t a single liquid inside.”
“So he remained thirsty?” Ugo asked.
“My Igbo brother, yes he remained thirsty, but first he called the owner of the house and when the man stepped out, he killed him and filled the calabash with his blood. Ogun like Sango had very bad tempers as men.”
“Are you still thirsty, Sire?” Tope asked, smiling.
“My multiple coloured teeth man, I can never be angry with Fifi. He is my Niggie, forever and a day.”
That was the first time I had heard the word ‘Niggie’.
“I have some change, I can pay for your bottle,” Ugo volunteered.
“Thanks, my man. I will instead pay for what you guys have drank and what you are about to drink.”
“But we are okay,” Tope protested.
Bauchi opened his mouth like Tope had uttered an abomination.
“Guys..guys...if there is nothing else you learn from this beautiful assemblage that Yoruba men call bia palow, learn that you never refuse a bottle from a true friend, never ever do that!”
“Can we stand up and pee, sir?” Ugo asked
“Ahn ahn, of course my man, but come back before your Guinness gets hot.”
“But we don’t drink Guinnes,” Tope said.
“Oh, Guinness is the only drink I can pay for, I am sorry, ask my man, Fifi.”
I nodded.
“Barman, please bring four bottles of Big stout with four plates Nkwobi!” Bauchi screamed.
Tope excused himself to go pee too.
“Bros, why are you victimizing my friends like this?” I asked Bauchi as soon as we were alone.
He winked at me with that wicked, fascinating arrogance.
“I am just kidding, na only one-one bottle I go fit pay for sef, I lose my money for Baba-ijebu.”

Davidflo I doff my hat! More ink to ur pen.

This Bauchi is crazy