☻From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue feels, the way u tighten and loosen mmmmmmmmmmmmm…………, NEW SHOES!!!!!!!!!!

☻He came 2 me 1 night,  explored my body,  licked- sucked- swallowed & had his fill,  when satisfied he left,  I was hurt,  DAMN MOSQUITO

☻In the morning I do not eat because I think of you, at noon I do not eat because I think of you, in the evening I do not eat because I think of you, at night I do not sleep because I am hungry.

☻Someday u may lose ur hair.u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.because u can't lose wot u don't have!

☻I had a wet dream about you last night ,  I pissed myself laughing when you fell of a cliff!

☻It goes in dry it comes out wet.the longer its in the stronger it gets.we can have it in bed just you and me, its not what you think its a cup of tea!

☻Last night i wantd u.needed u so badly that it hurt.wantd 2 taste u.i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me, but i couldnt find u.u stupid,  PARACETAMOL!



☻At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick.i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS?

☻Tell me.is it going in?, yeah , is it hurting?, ooh yeah , ouch its hurtin , ok i wil put it in slowly , stil hurtin, ahh yeh , den lets try d other shoe madam

☻Last night i coodnt sleep.i wantd u warm against my skin.i wantd u on me.i wantd 2 feel u all over my body,  but i coodnt find u!Where did i put my PYJAMAS?

☻I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creatin a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrust in & out up& down, can't wait til nxt time I love MY TOOTHBRUSH

☻come here.take off ur pants and get on top of me, enjoy me until ur totally satisfied lovingly urs TOILET!!!!

☻I love u- I love u- I love u almighty,I wish ur pyjamas were close to me nighty.don't be mistaken.now don't be mislead I mean on the clothesline and not in my bed

☻when i look at the sun i c u!when i look at the moon i c u!when i look at the sea I c u,  well get out of my way!



Please paste yours here.

More


☻You got STYLE, You got SEX-APPEAL, You got the BRAINS, and you sure as hell got the BODY, WAIT!!!!!, SORRY, wrong number


☻You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing things.


☻You should know what it takes to look this cheap!


☻You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you


☻You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it or thinking about it?


☻You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body , o, sorry, wrong number


☻You’d better not be a dayfly and not having your day.


☻Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your Instruments, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free from now on!


☻It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It's also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

☻A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

☻i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

☻Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

☻Hey friend remember dat without stupidity there can be no wisdom & without ugliness there can be no beauty… so the world needs YOU after all!

☻Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

☻A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

☻At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

☻The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

☻i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window, I look down & den, i lauf again

And this
Be nice to the ones who smoke, every cigarette migh be their last.

I am very urgly.



Really.





Why did you say dat?

60% of the population is celebrating xmas. 20% is having sex. 11% is watching tv. 9% is in d church and 1% (ie u) is reading this. Merry xmas 2 u.

blablabla,

Really great.

Thanks

Yeah!