CHRONICLES OF CHIKWADO


The news about Chikwado's nefarious activities had hit the village like a pill of thunder. Different versions of the story seemed to have erupted everywhere. In Umuchi, such cases weren't strange.


Beseeching the gallantly flavoured version he had heard, Umunakwe was hung in the balance. The young strata of the village held unto an account very different from that of the older groups. Acts, like the one committed by Chikwado, wasn't the first of its kind in the community, but why was this one creating so much school of thoughts??

Shaking his head, the saying that "one man's meat is another man's poison" raced into the mind of the devastated Umunakwe. "Why won't people gossip and tear themselves up?

Umunakwe's son has faulted, certainly the music has suddenly changed. People would do a host of other serious crimes and get away with it, but... well, it is well. I must head home now ," he said to himself.


Tongues wagered on in the community for weeks. Every nook and cranny of the community had turned into a predator's zone for Umunakwe and his family. Fate was what brought Umunakwe to Umuchi years ago.


The stigmatization that bordered their stay was enough to kill any brave heart, hence another saying that no matter how critically well the anus was washed, the foul smell was still ever present. Just at the time he thought he was half-way towards getting the "smell" off his family, Chikwado had turned all attention back to them.


"Chikwado", came Umunakwe's voice, shrilled by anxiety. "I'm certain you know that your buttocks, like that of the proverbial hen, is wide open at the sudden gush of the wind in the community?" Chikwado, whose face bore patches and lumps from the autonomous "hell-is-better" beating graciously given by an angry mob, stood very unsettled and uncomfortable.


His appearance reminded one of the Praying Mantis. Having eyes that looked like they didn't belong to the head and an extremely large head, his scrunched up nose did worse to make a positive description of him possible.


"Will you not answer my question?" Umunakwe asked, trying hard not to make an outburst. Chikwado shifted from one foot to the other.

"Papa...", it was his mouth this time. The elevated nature at which he poised it would give even the greatest surveyor an ultimate puzzle to determine its angular accuracy.

"You had better clear up this foul air before the gods of our land strike you to permanent dumbness!" It was clear to Umunakwe that keeping composure wouldn't take them anywhere. If it took him yelling like an enraged mad man to get some details out of his son, he would do it.

"Did you steal from the Ikonu shrine or not!!??", Umunakwe barked furiously.

"Papa, i was only helping the chief priest. You know how much I have aspired to become one of the greatest dibias our land has ever had or known", Chikwado blurted.

Umunakwe stared into the heavens. With a curved mouth, twisted in fury, he was losing his patience.

"Last week, Chikwado, you wanted to become a poultry farmer when i caught you with some eggs, owned neither by you nor I. Now, it is dibia you want to become, okwia?"

Chikwado's head seemed to have grown larger than normal, with a more puffier cheek as he listened to his father's accusation.

Thinking very hard for a counter measure with which to get out of his father's grip and sensing Umunakwe's clenched fist, he blinked a few times. "Papa, you also ate that egg..."
"Will you shut that dirty hole you call a mouth!!?", Umunakwe exclaimed, looking over his shoulders in case someone had mistakenly eavesdropped.

"Papa, you even asked for a second and third round of..."
"I said shut that mouth up!!!!'', Umunakwe's eyes was all bulgy now. One could not help but notice the striking resemblance between father and son. "One more word from you and I'll show you what hot water does to the tortoise! Why have you decided not to let me have a moment's rest?! The day another ear hears of this, that very day, you will lose that village square-sized head of yours, anumpama."


Chikwado grinned from ear to ear. It was no doubt true that he was indeed his father's son.

Spreads mat.

This Na bad pikin Tory.


Carry go....

hey oya continue your work oo

I keep getting banned whenever I try to update the thread