The human mind is an incredible thing, and
having the right attitude and mindset has routinely been stated by
numerous successful people as being a pivotal key to success.
Sometimes, however, it is easy to get side-tracked. Situations in life
can get in the way of our goals, self-esteem, and personal well-
being. Truthfully, success is a subjective term, and everyone will
disagree over what constitutes being successful. Here are a list of
guidelines, however, of some things to stop doing if you want to
be or feel successful.
1. Stop Expecting Perfection
Often, we get frustrated when things don’t work out the way we
want them to, or as quickly as we’d like them to. We stress over
small details, or beat ourselves up for getting one thing wrong, or
forgetting to dot one I or cross one T. People are fallible.
Mistakes and drawbacks are a fact of life. Nothing is nor will it
ever be perfect, and that’s okay.
Stressing out over minute details or things that would have been
impossible to get to is unproductive and unhealthy. Start saying that
you will do your personal best, because at the end of the day,
you’re not in competition with anyone but yourself.
Example: Jennifer Lawrence is someone who everyone seems to be
talking about right now, but did you know she was rejected for the
role of Bella Swan in ‘Twilight‘? She also didn’t take theater
classes. She just trusted her instincts and worked as hard as
possible to land acting roles. Obviously, she wasn’t perfect for
every role, but she didn’t expect perfection. She takes her failures
and rejections well, trying to learn from each situation.
2. Stop Saying Yes When You Want to Say No
It’s always important to know your limits, and people will always
try to test them. Human beings are social animals. We want to
interact with others and feel like we are a part of something or
like we are special to someone else. People also, for the most part,
like to please others. Sometimes, however, it’s easy to be taken
advantage of. Whether it’s helping a co-worker with something when
you can’t really afford to, or loaning a friend money you can’t
really afford to give.
Out of guilt, people often say yes to people and situations that
they really should say no to. Don’t be afraid to trust your gut
and say no. Sometimes you can’t stay a few hours later because
you had other plans or important errands to run. Sometimes it’s
okay to say no to that co-worker that keeps nagging you for help
but is really just stalling because they don’t want to work and
know you’ll help them.
Sometimes it’s okay to prioritize other things over work. Saying no
is healthy. Saying no means that you know your boundaries and can
demand respect.
Example: Margaret Thatcher is known as being tough. She was a
powerful politician. She also knew during her career when she had
to take a stand, and sometimes that stand meant saying no to bad
political and economic policy.
3. Stop Negative Self-Dialogue
We all can probably play back in our minds every negative or
embarrassing thing we’ve ever done to ourselves, been subjected to,
or done to someone else. Whether it’s tripping over one’s shoelaces
in the fourth grade, or being fired from a job, wronging someone
else, or overhearing someone speaking negatively about us, those
thoughts are forever solidified in our minds.
Replaying those thoughts, however, and constantly punishing oneself
for past mistakes, is counterproductive at certain points. At some
point, it’s more important to learn from situations and move on,
instead of psychologically beating yourself up.
The next time you find yourself saying, “I’m not pretty enough”, “I
did this horrible thing once five years ago and I’ll never forgive
myself”, or any type of statement along those lines, turn off that
negative self-dialogue. Look in the mirror and say something kind to
yourself. Read some inspirational quotes. Acknowledge that you are
taking steps and making an effort to be a better person. Admit to
yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and most importantly, that
making mistakes is okay.
Example: This article does a good job of listing Steve Job’s
failures. We remember him anyway, and we remember him as a
pioneer and someone who didn’t give up. When things go wrong,
and they often do, it’s easy for us to remember every mistake we
have ever made along the way.
Sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of our goals because of that lack
of confidence. Don’t give up and attempt to stay positive. Train
your brain to think of things in a new, more positive way. Most of
all, keep working hard. Failure doesn’t have to be permanent.
4. Stop Focusing On Just Today
Successful people tend to understand the value of a good plan.
They plan out their day, their goals, a budget and they plan how
much to save for retirement. That doesn’t mean they don’t have
fun, though. They most certainly do! They just make sure to plan
when it is appropriate and inappropriate to have fun. They make
time for productivity and fun, but still save and think about the
future.
So, stop just focusing on today and having fun. Think about where
you want to be in five, 10 or 15 years down the road! Having a
good focus aids in success!
Example: Neil deGrasse Tyson has been in love with the universe
and science since he was nine years old. Because of that love, he
worked long-term to study the things he cared about. He was
accepted into Harvard where he majored in physics, eventually moving
on to advanced education. His list of accomplishments would take up
another full article in and of itself.
5. Stop Ignoring Your Goals
Stop believing things will just work out for you because you’re a
good person. Good things only happen to people who make an
effort. A part of making an effort is setting goals for oneself. As
evidenced in the previous point, it’s not enough to just focus on the
day at hand. It’s important to manage time and set short-term and
long-term goals in order to be able to track progress and have
something to strive for.
Example: Alan Turing is considered the father of artificial
intelligence and computers. He also broke the code to the Nazi
encryption machine called Enigma. He faced many challenges along
the way, such as the inability to identify with others and being
charged with indecency, for which he was eventually pardoned. Despite
his personal struggles, though, he managed to break the code for
Enigma, saving approximately 14 million people from death and in
turn helped end World War 2.
6. Stop Isolating People
Successful people understand that not everything is about work,
church or similar obligations. Some things are about family,
relaxation, and hobbies. It’s easy to get the impression that everyone
who feels or defines themselves as successful probably has no
spare time on their hands, and in some cases, that’s true.
However, it isn’t always. Social isolation can kill people. In fact,
many successful people have mastered the art of balance. They
don’t isolate the people they love because they have large goals or
something they want to accomplish. Instead, they incorporate those
they love into their goals and hobbies.
Example: According to a recent Forbes article, many leaders feel
lonely. However, here are 25 examples of social business leaders
who seem to thrive on relationships. It’s okay to know how to work
alone and prefer that, but it’s also important to be able to rely on
your staff, friends, and family for support.
Involving people in leadership or product processes makes them feel
valued and provides valuable feedback. Successful people enjoy that
relationship. They also enjoy their time away from their goals and
work to spend time with their loved ones.
7. Stop Comparing Yourself To Everyone Else
Successful people understand that the only person they can compete
with today is the person they were yesterday. They are too focused
on themselves and their goals to worry about anyone else. They
don’t want to compare themselves to others because it’s
counterproductive. However, they do analyze where they have weak
points and are able to genuinely admire people who have mastered
things they have not.
There is no use to comparing yourself to someone else. It’s
counterproductive and harmful to your self-esteem. It also helps to
harbor negative self-dialogue.
Example: Taylor Swift is one of the most successful recording
artists of our time, but before that, she was a struggling musician
in Nashville playing at small venues and coffee shops. She would
turn in demos to various studios, covering a variety of songs.
It was only when she started playing and writing her own music
that she got noticed and became the celebrity she is today. She
faced a lot of adversity as well. There were people who doubted her
skills and told her she couldn’t sing. Her confidence and faith in
herself overcame that.
8. Stop Living In The Past
Successful people learn from their failures, but they do not live in
the past. They take the skills and lessons they acquired from their
failures and apply them to the present and future. Don’t live in
your own personal past. Don’t define yourself by who you were.
Define yourself by who you are today and by who you’re working
toward becoming.
Example: Would we even remember Thomas Edison if he gave up on
his ideas before becoming successful? Can you imagine simply
focusing on what happened yesterday? So what if yesterday was a
failure? Try again! Failure teaches us about what doesn’t work, and
helps us get closer to a process that does work. Choose your
attitude and control it. Move forward. Remember, failure is
feedback.
9. Stop Tolerating Dishonest People
Successful people appreciate other people for their unique traits and
gifts. They do not attempt to harm, belittle, or in any way demean
others for their own successes or ideas. They are open to
relationships with others, but know when to cut the cord, so to
speak.
People can be too forgiving when it comes to being wronged, and
it’s important to know one’s limits. Successful people do not
tolerate negative and dishonest people, because they are too busy
loving honest, sincere people.
Example: Everyone. We have all had frenemies. We have all
invested in people who did not return our investment in them.
Successful people know how to weed these dishonest people out. No
one wants unneeded negativity around themselves or around the
people they love. Read this article for tips on how to deal with
dishonest people.

Educative.

I would have said you should have taken your time to write this properly but I guess I should stop expecting perfection

Hmm

Nairaland is not a lost cause afterall. This is a very nice piece.

Not ONLY for people who want to be successful. Those threading on the path of self-discovery could also glean from this, and apply a thing or two in their quest.

Lately I have been wallowing and sinking in despair, because the harder I try to reach my goals, the harder (I feel) some unseen forces are contending against me.

But I have taken the time to sit back, relax and take a look at where I have gone wrong. From that I can add some points to your's OP.

1. Successful people don't waste their time complaining on things they can't control. They'd rather focus on the things they can control in their lives, and MOST times, the only thing a man needs is to change his attitude.

2. Successful people don't mind taking calculated Risks: taking reckless or foolish risk is out of the question for them. But they always SPEND TIME to place major decisions on a scale; weighing the pros and cons before making their moves.

3. Successful people don't dwell on the past.

4. Successful people aren't afraid of change.

5. Successful people LEARN from their mistakes... And NEVER repeat their mistakes over and over again.

6. Successful people realize that there indeed, is no short cut to becoming successful.

The road to success is dark and steep... And a successful man is the one who can work thru this steep and dark path successfully. The man who never gives up after the first try... And the man who picks himself up, every single time he falls.

P.S: OP, please try to space your work, for clarity sake.

Let me read b4 commenting

hey..... talk true, click like if you didn't read everything finish! talk true oo

nice piece nt next tym try to space ur Epistle n underline or bold some key words or letters to create more perfect n understandable script
beinq successful is anoda tin entirely apart from many tinz from ur list...
for some its destiny, for others its determination, for some is hunqer, for others its luck, for some its b,coz dea ar bound to b successful coz dea ar born into wealth, for others its easy n tru shabby n despirate means means( bk door n dirty means)
afterall d danqote's n richer n biqqa peps controlling billions n owners of various oil wells don't av to qo tru ur list or drop some anytinq from ur list b4 dea qot to d top

Number 9
Do not have a boyfriend or girlfriend

10. Stop being scared about being successful: Poverty is an equator to the average man, but if you have legit info on how to succeed, don't let fear stop you. It may appear to you that your fear is genuine, lest you lose something. But what about what you lose to ignore-ance (ignorance) via fear? Check my signature.

remember the lord thy God in all thy ways

Wise words to live by!! Splendid [color=#006600][/color]

Well registered

Bookmarked!

Very Educative post! Thanks for sharing!

well I kinda stand aside the "don't isolate ursef part"

it's called "focus" or "away from distractions"

Emyemyberry:
Number 9
Do not have a boyfriend or girlfriend

Except on valentine's days

If Nigeria Should Break!!! http://infocong..com/2015/02/if-nigeria-should-break.html

I nid to start putting all dese into practice

channelz:
Educative.

I would have said you should have taken your time to write this properly but I guess I should stop expecting perfection

ROTFL

WOW NAIRALANDERS AM SO BLESSED BY ALL THESE POST..............THE LORD IS YOUR STRENGHT

Stop placing all yoour eggs in one basket .
And stop working round the clock. Take time out to rest and reflect..

Hmm....nice! Long, but very Nice read. Weldone op

Thanks op, I'm motivated. More grease to your elbow!

RomanceLander:


Except on valentine's days

why?

COOL

Wow! Really nice piece.

Stuffs like this is what we should have gracing the front page, as NL is a highly respected forum.

I think I should visit this section more often.

Front page please. cc: Lalasticlacla, Mynd44, Seun, Ishilove, Obinoscopy.

Ok. This thread is specifically for me

1 million likes 4 d OP
This kinda stuff shld be on frontpage

There are no particular keys to success, everything listed are nothing but wild guesses.