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A Short Story I'm Working On "slient Violence" - Literature - Nairaland

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A Short Story I'm Working On "slient Violence" by Keflyn: 11:03pm On Jan 04, 2009
I am only 11, this is my first short story, which I made for my reading class, Also if I have any mistakes I am so sorry and I will fix it.Not done yet.
Here is the story:

Year 3020…
Day1…
A young 17 year old news reporter was looking for a news story. He heard about the suspicious deaths, called “Silent Violence” in an old news paper. He picked the news paper up and read the headline “Silent Violence”, he continued to read. He noticed a sap-like dark colored blood drop on the old news paper. The blood was still wet and seemed fresh, like it just came out of some one. He got startled and saw an Invisible figure standing by the door he was trying not to look at the door as much as he could. He glanced at the door again he saw nothing. He got knocked in the back of the head. He fainted from the blow in the head.
4 Hours later…
He woke up on the ground by the bloody new paper. He slowly gets up off, the cold hard ground, brushing the dirt off his knees. He sees nothing but dark that goes on and on. He heard a faint noise that was coming from the window. He decided to peer out the broken window that was hit by a ball a long time ago. He looked down high up from the ten story-building on the top floor he gets shoved out the window. The people who were walking the dogs and walking the kids to school saw the 17 year old man shoved out the window. The ground was cover in blood from the dismember limbs.
In nearby woods…
The woods is silent the moon is very dark you would hardly see it shine. Not even the stars would light up the night only one thing that lit up the night was your fear in death to come. There was a rescue crew out in the woods they spotted a young “boy” that appeared to be dead. He was cold as ice his face was pale. They had him in the back of the truck on a stretcher. They drove thought the cold woods.
At the hospital…
The hospital was very nosey lots of screams like people were dying one after one. They pushed him into a dark room a big light was turned on above the table where the young “boy” was. A doctor came into the room he said in a firmly voice, “Hi, what’s your name?” said the doctor.
The “boy” said nothing he just stared darkly. The doctor got scared and then he told a nurse to watch him while he goes to the front. The nurse sat down in a chair by the “boy” she said, “How old are you?” said the nurse. The boy’s eyes changed colors from a light blue to a very dark red. The nurse called the doctor and the doctor came into the room the “boy” started screaming loud as he could the doctor fell down so did the nurse. The “boy” walked to a corner and faded into the shadows.
Re: A Short Story I'm Working On "slient Violence" by mustylani(m): 3:37am On Jan 06, 2009
Hi Keflyn,

If you are really 11, then i would say this is a bloody good first shot. Not many can come up with something like this. Keep it up. Continue working on it. You will go places.

Cheers!

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