I had to use a new moniker to do this. Pardon me .
I have been married for 9 years now. By any standard, i have had a very good marriage . Great husband and kids.
I married my husband as a divorcee which produced a daughter. He told me all these while we were dating. He never hid any neccessary information from me.
The child has been living with the mother while my husband has been up and doing in the chilld's welfare. He pays the school fees, gives monthly allowance, medical bills and still visits the child at intervals, spends holidays with us and he has a good rapport with the child's mother. Though the woman still complains he doesn't do enough. That's by the way.
I never wanted to marry a man with a child/children as i saw it as a baggage i will not be able to handle.
But my husband was different and I had to marry him with this imperfection cos i am too.
The issue now is, the child does not want to live with the mother again but us( don't know if the mother planned it) because 2 years ago , the child lived with us but the mother's interfernce was too much.
The mother comes to my house at any time to pick the child for one thing or the other and will even miss school atimes. Calls at any time , discusses with my neighbours and so on.
Now the child is back to my house for a permanent stay on the ground of no interference from the mum since i implored my husband that there will not be repeat of any of the previous incidence.
I do all these because of the love i have for my husband but I am not coming to terms with it.
I find it very difficult to love and accept this child as my own. Whenever she is around me, there is this reverberation of negative energy and feelings towards her.
I have never abused her in any sort.
Please i would need matured contributions on how to deal with this situation, loving and accepting her because it is really affecting my emotions which translates to affecting my sex life, business and relationships etc.

you have no other option than to love the child as you will love yours. at times we just have to overlook many things and behave in a manner God want us to.

since you married the man, don't frgt u married his kid too. forget about negative things you are thinking and pray to God.

pls madam dont be selfish here.

ask for special grace from God to love her.l believe she is on secondary schl then discuss with ur husband to work her into boarding schl.by that u will ve some breathing space.

who know she might be an instrument to take ur children to greater height

as for her mother be vigilant and be prayerful. moodiness fighting with ur. husby will only escalate d issue.

so be wise

Thank you agarawu23
Cc babyosisi, chaircover greatgod etc. Please i would need your input. Thank you.

What are the things that the child do that makes you find it difficult to love her? If it is for the mother's interference, over time you will get over it however, if it is the child's attitude, try to help her correct them in love.

Haba........ Will the sour fruits her mother ate set her teeth on edge? Mbanu.

You gotta love her until she gives you a reason not to, and even if that happens you will still need to love her for the sake your husband.

Thing is, if your husband really loves this girl then you are gonna have problems in your family if he finds out you don't love her.

Get close to the child, push down the hatred in you and you will see a billion plus one reason to love her forever. Hatred doesn't allow us to see the reason to love people.

Discuss with ur hubby, tell him his EX wife must knw her place in ur home, dey shuld reach an agreement on hw she wil see d child, mayb once a month, BUT u just have to love d child n treat her well since u knew abt her bfore u got married to her dad.

Love that child o if you value the marriage. Men no dey carry their daughters play. Its not easy but you know what you signed up for so face as your sacrifice for the marriage. I repeat love that child. If that child notices you don't like her, Na problem o. She will poison her dads mind. And trust me, all she needs to do is cry.

I think these comments above are enough for you. I will only add that you do not use your hands to destroy your marriage. How?

By the time you want to monitor the activities of your ex-co wife, you may do so to the extent of accusing your husband of having affairs with her or renewing the affinity (though you may be right).

You must live your life as a wife to the man. The girl as your first daughter. Keep the family and above all remember God.

gylint:
I had to use a new moniker to do this. Pardon me .
I have been married for 9 years now. By any standard, i have had a very good marriage . Great husband and kids.
I married my husband as a divorcee which produced a daughter. He told me all these while we were dating. He never hid any neccessary information from me.
The child has been living with the mother while my husband has been up and doing in the chilld's welfare. He pays the school fees, gives monthly allowance, medical bills and still visits the child at intervals, spends holidays with us and he has a good rapport with the child's mother. Though the woman still complains he doesn't do enough. That's by the way.
I never wanted to marry a man with a child/children as i saw it as a baggage i will not be able to handle.
But my husband was different and I had to marry him with this imperfection cos i am too.
The issue now is, the child does not want to live with the mother again but us( don't know if the mother planned it) because 2 years ago , the child lived with us but the mother's interfernce was too much.
The mother comes to my house at any time to pick the child for one thing or the other and will even miss school atimes. Calls at any time , discusses with my neighbours and so on.
Now the child is back to my house for a permanent stay on the ground of no interference from the mum since i implored my husband that there will not be repeat of any of the previous incidence.
I do all these because of the love i have for my husband but I am not coming to terms with it.
I find it very difficult to love and accept this child as my own. Whenever she is around me, there is this reverberation of negative energy and feelings towards her.
I have never abused her in any sort.
Please i would need matured contributions on how to deal with this situation, loving and accepting her because it is really affecting my emotions which translates to affecting my sex life, business and relationships etc.

pack up and leave if you are not comfortable. The child has a right to her father.