How to Discipline Your
Teenager
THE CHALLENGE
The family rule is cell phones off by 9:00 p.m., but twice
this week you caught your daughter texting past midnight.
Your son’s curfew is 10:00 p.m., but last night—once again
—he came home after 11:00.
Your teenager can do better.
But first you need to know
why he or she seems to be
flouting your rules. The good
news? What appears to be
outright defiance may be
something far less serious.
WHY IT HAPPENS
Unclear boundaries. Some teenagers ignore rules in order to
see what they can get away with. For example, if a parent
has said that a certain misdeed would result in a particular
consequence, a teenager might test the boundaries to see if
the parent will follow through. Are such teenagers becoming
hardened rebels? Not necessarily. The fact is, teens are
more likely to be lax about obeying rules when parents have
not been consistent in enforcing consequences or when the
boundaries have not been clearly defined.
Rigidity. Some parents try to control their teenager with an
endless list of rules. When the teen disobeys, the parent gets
angry and imposes even more rules. Often, however, that
only makes matters worse. “The more you try to gain
control, the more your teenager resists,” explains the book
Parent/Teen Breakthrough, adding: “The control approach
feels like trying to spread cold butter on soft bread: it just
tears the bread apart, and the solution isn’t to spread
harder.”
Proper discipline can help. Different from “punishment”—
which means to make someone suffer—“discipline”
basically means to teach. So how can you teach your
teenager to comply with your rules?
WHAT YOU CAN DO
Be clear. Teenagers need to know precisely what is
expected of them and what the consequences of
disobedience will be. —Bible principle: Galatians 6:7 .
Suggestion: Write a list of your house rules. Then ask
yourself: ‘Have I set too many? Have I set too few? Are
some no longer needed? Should I make adjustments in
accord with the level of responsibility that my teenager has
demonstrated?’
Be consistent. Teenagers might become confused if they
were let off the hook last week but then face consequences
this week for a similar infraction. —Bible principle: Matthew
5:37 .
Suggestion: Try to make the consequence more relevant to
the “crime.” For example, if your teenager breaks a curfew,
imposing an earlier curfew would be a related consequence.
Be reasonable. Show yourself to be a flexible parent by
according your teenager more freedom as it is earned. —
Bible principle: Philippians 4:5 .
Suggestion: Sit down and discuss rules with your teenager.
You might even have him or her weigh in on what
consequences should be meted out for certain infractions.
Teenagers are far more likely to comply with rules that they
have had a hand in formulating.
Build character. Your goal is not just to get your teenager to
obey orders but to help him develop a healthy conscience—
an internal sense of right and wrong. (See the box “Build
Positive Traits.”) —Bible principle: 1 Peter 3:16 .
Suggestion: Look to the Bible for help. It is the best source
of “discipline that gives insight,” and its wisdom can “give to
the inexperienced ones shrewdness, to a young man [or
woman] knowledge and thinking ability.”— Proverbs 1:1-4 .
KEY SCRIPTURES
“Whatever a man is sowing, this he will also reap.”
— Galatians 6:7 .
“Let your word Yes mean Yes, your No, No.”—
Matthew 5:37 .
“Let your reasonableness become known.”—
Philippians 4:5 .
“Hold a good conscience.”— 1 Peter 3:16 .
BUILD POSITIVE TRAITS
Help your child think about the character traits for
which he or she would like to be known. When faced
with a challenge, young people can learn to make good
decisions by asking themselves the following
questions:
What kind of person do I want to be?— Colossians
3:10 .
What would a person with a Christlike personality
do when faced with this challenge?— Proverbs 10:1 .
The Bible contains many true-life examples of men and
women whose actions defined them as being either
good or bad. (1 Corinthians 10:11; James 5:10, 11 ) Use
these examples to help your son or daughter build
positive character traits.


http://www.jw.org/en/publications/magazines/g201305/discipline-your-teenager/

Noted!! Will go through it when I'm married..