I was once a very difficult person in terms of association with people but most of all I find it difficult to let go even after forgiving someone that wronged me. As time passed on, I prayed much about my temperament and with time I noticed that when I'm angry, I no longer break things and throw stuff all over the place, rather I noticed that I always feel intimidated for letting go so I resort to crying so hard behind closed doors. Infact that has been my life so far, always crying bitterly when I forgive and let go.
Recently, I had a feud with my sister over domestic work in the house, I have always been the cleaner, sweeperholic, duster, call it anything even from way back and it has earned me a funny titlt from people (no spot no wrinkle) coupled with the fact that I am not a friend making type, novels has always been my companion. Back to the topic, I suddenly started feeling cheated for tidying, cooking & everything so I took it up and it caused us a great misunderstanding and we later stopped talking to each other for almost a month.
My dad has made peace between us and I was even the one that has to first apologize just to prove to myself that I am no longer my old self. Weeks has passed and we are good and she is the type that has an over free heart, but somehow deep in my heart, I still feel cheated, intimidated and mad at the world but then I feel good just that i couldnt shake off that feeling of been wronged, been fighting within myself, does it mean I have not forgiven? I shared this just to ease my discomfort and feel light hearted. Don't really know what to do about this. Am I really a very horrible person?

Your way to forgiveness is to realize how you judge others.
Let us take your sister as an example. You feel cheated because she doesn't do the things you do. The question is, why should she? Y If you decide to do anything, do it out of your free will but don't expect others to be like you and do what you choose to do. Allow others to make their decisions, just like you have the right to freely choose. Everyone has his or her own role to play.You play yours, they play theirs. If you don't like your role and the things you do, choose something else[b] for yourself[/b] but don't expect others to do the same. You can only make decisions for yourself. If you are not happy with them, that's your business. And you can only change yourself, never others. Stop judging your sister based on the things you do, they are your choice. That does not mean that she has to do the same or that you are better.

Last but not least, if you feel cheated then know that it is you who cheats herself in some way. I am sure your sister does not walk around thinking of how to cheat you. So ask yourself, how you yourself contribute to feeling cheated.

innervoice:
Your way to forgiveness is to realize how you judge others.
Let us take your sister as an example. You feel cheated because she doesn't do the things you do. The question is, why should she? Y If you decide to do anything, do it out of your free will but don't expect others to be like you and do what you choose to do. Allow others to make their decisions, just like you have the right to freely choose. Everyone has his or her own role to play.You play yours, they play theirs. If you don't like your role and the things you do, choose something else[b] for yourself[/b] but don't expect others to do the same. You can only make decisions for yourself. If you are not happy with them, that's your business. And you can only change yourself, never others. Stop judging your sister based on the things you do, they are your choice. That does not mean that she has to do the same or that you are better.

Last but not least, if you feel cheated then know that it is you who cheats herself in some way. I am sure your sister does not walk around thinking of how to cheat you. So ask yourself, how you yourself contribute to feeling cheated.

tnx

Forgiveness is of the mind and will
I used to be really tough myself, get mad, keep grudges, but then I realised it holds me down
I get swollen up
I sometimes even wish the offender bad thoughts
Lots of crazy things and always had to backfire
Woke up one morning and said
If I were God then this world would have perished
In as much as I was young and naive
I decided and made the decision
It kicked off with a willing mind
And ever since, I became superhuman superwoman
There's also this free spirit that comes with it
I have not been so beautiful as I amm now, beauty is inner, the smile of not even remembering who hurt u so bad gives the you happiness u never find.
You rem sometimes and be like, well, I am better.
My epistle preached WILLING

Dyt:
Forgiveness is of the mind and will
I used to be really tough myself, get mad, keep grudges, but then I realised it holds me down
I get swollen up
I sometimes even wish the offender bad thoughts
Lots of crazy things and always had to backfire
Woke up one morning and said
If I were God then this world would have perished
In as much as I was young and naive
I decided and made the decision
It kicked off with a willing mind
And ever since, I became superhuman superwoman
There's also this free spirit that comes with it
I have not been so beautiful as I amm now, beauty is inner, the smile of not even remembering who hurt u so bad gives the you happiness u never find.
You rem sometimes and be like, well, I am better.
My epistle preached WILLING

oh my!! May God bless you for not judging me and tnx for understanding my feelings here. I am really trying a lot to become a better person. You know, i live alone with her & younger sister by 2 yrs. We live in one of our family houses. You clean up her mess even her friends visits and leaves the house in a real mess especially leaving used pads in careless displays, u do all these things mandatorily because she shows u attitude and u can't stay comfortable without keeping things clean, later it now becomes your permanent job and even when your parents visits, they will still be shouting on you if the house is unkept and when you try to reason with them to also remember that you are the elderly one and must not always be the one to do it, you will receive this statement " you are the elderly one so the cleanliness of the house and protection is your sole responsibility" how would you feel? So that's it but its well.

Its normal
Even a wife will ask her husband do one thing or the other someday, I don't blame u getting tired of it all
If u can do it, pls do with free will and that min u don't feel like doing nothing, pls don't stress it.
Don't do cos u feel she won't do, ofcus she will, after days and its still unkept and u didn't bother abt it, she will pick it up especially if her frnds are coming.
We all need that special appraisal my dear.
Take it u are older and don't let that bother u much always remember that's what makes u older and ofcus better

Op only a fool forgives and forgets

chocolateme:
I was once a very difficult person in terms of association with people but most of all I find it difficult to let go even after forgiving someone that wronged me. As time passed on, I prayed much about my temperament and with time I noticed that when I'm angry, I no longer break things and throw stuff all over the place, rather I noticed that I always feel intimidated for letting go so I resort to crying so hard behind closed doors. Infact that has been my life so far, always crying bitterly when I forgive and let go.
Recently, I had a feud with my sister over domestic work in the house, I have always been the cleaner, sweeperholic, duster, call it anything even from way back and it has earned me a funny titlt from people (no spot no wrinkle) coupled with the fact that I am not a friend making type, novels has always been my companion. Back to the topic, I suddenly started feeling cheated for tidying, cooking & everything so I took it up and it caused us a great misunderstanding and we later stopped talking to each other for almost a month.
My dad has made peace between us and I was even the one that has to first apologize just to prove to myself that I am no longer my old self. Weeks has passed and we are good and she is the type that has an over free heart, but somehow deep in my heart, I still feel cheated, intimidated and mad at the world but then I feel good just that i couldnt shake off that feeling of been wronged, been fighting within myself, does it mean I have not forgiven? I shared this just to ease my discomfort and feel light hearted. Don't really know what to do about this. Am I really a very horrible person?

Forgiveness is letting go 4 God 2 fight on ur behalf. U must be an introvert gf. U re full of ideas & creative. Re u a journalist? thumbs up