1. Only Criminals Smoke Cigarette
In Nollywood
Smoking is meant for criminals, not just for criminals but the hardened criminals; armed robbers, assassins, drug kingpins, prostitutes and every despicable profession in Nigeria. Oh wait, we forgot to add ritualist to the list, Nollywood loves it when ritual killers smoke cigarettes.
In Real Life
Smoking is not a healthy habit, it has many damaging effects on the health of humans but there is no single correlation between smoking and crime. Like we said, smoking is just a bad habit, end of story. For me, saying everybody who smokes is a bad person, is like saying everyone who goes to church is a good person.
There are tons of responsible people, who smoke cigarettes and the last time we checked smoking is not a criminal offence.
So the next time you see someone smoking, the least you could do is tell that person how dangerous it is to their health instead of judging them already, all thanks to Nollywood.

2. Traditional Worshipers Are Evil[b]
[b]In Nollywood
Traditional idol worshippers are only good at causing wrecking havoc in the life of unsuspecting Nigerians. They are the people you go to when you want to kill or maim anybody you hate for no apparent reason.
The least condescending role assigned to traditional idol worshipers is that of a lukewarm chief priest who receives messages from the gods and at best refuses to collect bribe in favour of a corrupt individual.
In Real Life
If you are reading this, then chances are that you are a Christian or Muslim. Traditional worshippers are a minority in Nigeria accounting for less than one percent of the population.
Traditional worshippers are the perfect villains in Nollywood movies. They have a bad history but that is true of almost every religion in the world. Every religion has killed for a cause, has sacrificed thousands for a cause.
We don’t see other countries making fun of their traditional religion, do you? Why Nollywood?
Besides that, there is no evil religion, only evil people exist. There are bad people in every religion.

3. Every Girl Must Learn How To Cook
In Nollywood
Every girl needs to learn how to cook because if she doesn’t learn how to cook her husband will send her back to her parents when he finds out she can’t cook a decent meal.
In Real Life
We wonder why the feminists in Nigeria aren’t crying foul yet as regards to this archaic plot Nollywood uses every frigging time.
Nollywood sometimes like to exaggerate with scenes of excess salt or too much pepper in the food or burnt meals as a sign of bad cooking we all know that rarely happens.
Even if a girl doesn’t know how to cook, so what? What stops the man from
cooking? Or teaching her? Or making her attend cooking class? Or hiring a maid? Or eating out?
It’s good a girl who knows how to cook; it is not an ultimate skill deserving divorce if lacking.
Take a girl to her parents? Who does that anymore? She will chew you out and spit you out in court.

4. Nigerians Invented Tattoo
In Nollywood
No matter when a Nollywood movie is set, it doesn’t matter if it is 3000 B.C or 3000 A.D as long as it has a village setting, virtually everybody has a tattoo and the village king always dresses ridiculously.
In Real Life
Our ancestors were not that bonkers for tattoos and neither are our village folks, to the best of our knowledge. Instead of tattoos, they should instead give everybody a facial mark, which was quite prevalent back in the days. Oh wait, that would be too complicated for their makeup artist.
When you see a village where everybody wears tattoo, be sure to let us know in the comment section below.
Village chiefs do not dress as ridiculous as they are portrayed in Nollywood movies. The most annoying part is that even movies set in the present day still features traditional rulers in mundane attires.
Apart from first class and second class chiefs, traditional rulers rarely wear their full regalia. They dress in that manner mostly during festival and traditional occasions.

5. Always Take The Words Of A Madman/Village Drunk Seriously
In Nollywood
The mad man on the street keeps saying the plot of the movie but nobody seems to take him seriously because he is mentally unstable. The village drunk keeps pointing out the villain and all his plans but no one heeds to his words as he is supposedly drunk.
In Real Life
The best anybody could get from alcohol intoxication is that you get to tell the truth a lot, that is after you ignore the staggering, slurred speech, nauseating feeling, hangover and not to mention that you are putting your life and the life of others at a huge risk.
Yes alcohol acts as a truth serum, making you more honest. It does not give you the back story to life; neither does it show you the synopsis to everybody’s life on earth.
As for brainsick, pretty much everything they say s useless, why are we even discussing this?
What is nollywood trying to tell us? That we should listen to the wise words of drunks each time they speak or welcome the words of insane men as divine advice?

6. Rich Kids Are Spoilt And People From Overseas Are Disrespectful
In Nollywood
Rich kids are spoilt little brats who have everything they ever want in life and this transforms them into horrible little monsters with no human sympathy whatsoever.
While those from overseas (it doesn’t matter if they went to Ghana for two days) are people with glaring fake American accent, dressed ridiculously in oversized shirts, face cap, eye glasses and oversized shoes (OMG, this never changes). They are always downright disrespectful with no regards to their elders or constituted authority.
Did we mention that they never win when they are in a love triangle?
In Real Life
First of all, you have to visit the United States of America for you to get close to anywhere close to the American accent (that gibberish Jim Iyke does could make your ear bleed). You don’t go to Britain and acquire an American accent, you don’t go to Russia and acquire an American accent and you definitely don’t go to Togo for you to pick up the American accent.
Okay let’s say you even visit the U.S.A. There are hundreds of people who spent years in America who do not have an iota of the American accent. There are also thousands of many more who were born and brought up in America who respect their elders and not as pompous as we are meant to believe in the movies.
Don’t be fooled, visiting a third world country does not diminish your chance of finding true love.

7. Screaming The Word ‘Jesus’ Makes Everything Perfect
In Nollywood
Are you about to die in a motor accident? Scream the word ‘Jesus’ and all will be well
Are you about to drown in water? Scream the word ‘Jesus’ and all will be well.
Did an assassin just put ten bullets in your body? Scream the word ‘Jesus’ and all will be well
In Real Life
You’d be soooo dead
There is a lot to Christianity and how God works than just screaming the word ‘Jesus’.

I would like my children to believe SOME of these 'lies' ooo... It will help them

DuchessLily:
I would like my children to believe SOME of these 'lies' ooo... It will help them

Lol It's fun sometimes when you know the truth

8. People don't grow older in their body,but only the colour of their hair changes to grey



but seriously, screaming the name of Jesus makes everything perfect if you have been given the authority and not decieving yourself shouting only after leaving the brothel. At the mention of the name of Jesus every knee shall bow.

Would it be a bad thing if I say some of what you mentioned above are the reasons why I don't watch Nollywood movies?

Medley:
8. People don't grow older in their body,but only the colour of their hair changes to grey



but seriously, screaming the name of Jesus makes everything perfect if you have been given the authority and not decieving yourself shouting only after leaving the brothel. At the mention of the name of Jesus every knee shall bow.

Oh boy is this about to turn into a preaching thread. Also no! Screaming Jesus all the tym u are in trouble won't solve all ur problem even with said authority given to you. Because sometyms it's your tym to go or trials and tribulations knocks at ur door. Oh look at me, now I'm the one preching.

We need some tension in movies not predicatable happy endings with the name of "Jesus"

I like ur pt tho. I mean how hard can it be to make a young guy look old? Make up artists not good enuff?

but op d body painting AKA tattoo is an Igbo tradition ,it's being dia since whatsoever B.C