This is from an excerpt from a famous book of
Imam Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah called Tuhfat al-
Mawdood bi Ahkaam al-Mawlood. One of the
most important chapters of his book is the
sixteenth chapter, which is entitled Fi fusool
naafi’ah fi Tarbiyat al-Atfaal tuhmad
‘awaaqibuha ‘ind al-Kabr (Useful advice on
raising children which will have good
consequences when the child grows up). What
follows is a summary of what Ibn Qayyim says:
1. The child should be breastfed by someone
other than his mother, two or three days after
birth. That is better because her milk after that
time will be thick and contain different
ingredients, unlike the milk of one who has
been breastfeeding for a while. All the Arabs
pay attention to that, and they give their
children to desert women to breastfeed, as the
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon
him) was given to Banu Sa’d to be breastfed
among them.
2. They should not be picked up and carried
around until they are three months old or
more, because they have only recently
emerged from their mother’s wombs and their
bodies are still weak.
3. They should be given only milk until their
teeth appear, because their stomachs are weak
and unable to digest food. When the baby’s
teeth appear, his stomach has grown strong
and is able to be nourished by food. Food
should be introduced gradually.
4. When they approach the age where they will
begin to speak and one wants to make it easy
for them to speak, a little honey and salt
should be placed on the infant’s tongue,
because they contain substances that will
reduce the excessive moisture that prevents
speech. When the child begins to speak, one
should prompt him to say Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah
Muhammad Rasool Allaah.
5. When the time for the teeth to appear
comes, the gums should be rubbed every day
with butter and ghee.
6. Parents should not get upset when the child
cries and yells, because he benefits greatly
from that crying. It exercises his limbs, opens
his intestines and chest, keeps his brain warm,
warms his moods, provokes his energy, creates
suitable conditions for expelling waste matter,
and helps rid the brain of mucus and other
waste.
7. The child should be protected against
everything that may scare him of harsh and
terrifying noises, frightening scenes and
disturbing movements.
8. Complete breastfeeding lasts for two years.
This is the right of the child if he needs it and
cannot do without it. The Qur’aan confirmed
that by adding the word kaamilayn (meaning
complete or whole, in the verse: “The mothers
shall give suck to their children for two whole
years” [al-Baqarah 2:233]). If the one who is
breastfeeding the child wants to wean him, she
should wean him gradually, and not wean him
suddenly in one go; rather she should get him
used to it slowly because of the harm that may
be done by changing the child’s food and habit
in one go.
9. It is mistreatment of children to allow them
to eat their fill of food, and to eat and drink a
lot. One of the most beneficial ways of training
them is to give them less than their fill, so that
they may digest well and be in good health,
there will be less waste in their bodies and
their bodies will be healthy, and they will have
less sickness because of having less food waste
in their bodies.
10. One thing that the child needs most
urgently is close attention to his moral well
being. He grows up with whatever the one who
is raising him gets him used to when he is
small. [If it is] resentment, anger, arguments,
haste, being easily led by whims and desires,
foolishness, hot-temperedness and greed, then
it will be difficult for him to change that when
he grows up. Hence you will find that most
people are deviant in their character, because
of the way they were brought up.
11. The child’s guardian should keep him from
taking from others because if he gets used to
taking, that will become natural for him, and
he will grow up as one who takes and not one
who gives. If the guardian wants to give
something, he should give it by his hand [i.e.,
give it to the child to give away] so that that he
will taste the sweetness of giving.
12. He should keep him away from lying and
treachery more than he would keep him away
from lethal poison. Once he lets him get the
habit of lying and betrayal, he will have
corrupted his happiness in this world and in
the Hereafter, and deprived him of all
goodness.13. He should keep him away from
laziness, idleness, a life of ease and too much
rest, and he should force him to do the
opposite. He should not let him rest more than
is sufficient to restore his energy so that he
can do more work, for laziness and idleness
bring bad consequences and lead to regret.
Yahya ibn Abi Katheer said:
“Knowledge cannot be attained by letting the
body rest.”14. He should get him used to
waking up at the end of the night, for that is
the time when reward is allocated and prizes
are awarded; some will take less and some will
take more and some will be deprived. If he
gets used to that when he is little, it will be
easy for him when he grows up. [Tuhfat al-
Mawdood (194-203).]
Source: AbuRuqya.com