Chelsea's boss Jose muorinho is arguably the most  quotable coach in the world of modern football. He is simple the best when it comes to conparisons some of his funny metaphors/quotes includes:
1• No," Mourinho responded when asked after last weekend's 2-1 defeat to Newcastle if he would defend a slender lead in a similar fashion. "You may as well put a cow in the middle of the pitch. And then stop the game because there was a cow.".......

2•After Barcelona complained about having to take a coach to Milan due to travel disruption caused by an Icelandic volcano eruption in 2010, the then Inter boss said: "The way they are, tomorrow we will probably read I am to blame for the volcano. Maybe I have a friend in the volcano and I am responsible for that."

3•“I am not concerned about how Chelsea are viewed morally,” Mourinho rambled in his first stint at Stamford Bridge. “What does concern me is that we are treated in a different way to other clubs. Some clubs are treated as devils, some are treated as angels. I don’t think we are so ugly that we should be seen as the devil and I don’t think Arsene Wenger [and Co.] are so beautiful that they should be viewed as angels.”

4•"Look, I’m a coach. I’m not Harry Potter," Mourinho said after drawing 0-0 with Real Mallorca on his competitive Real Madrid debut. "Harry Potter is magical, but in reality there is no magic. Magic is fiction and football is real."

5• "I am prepared," he said after signing Sami Khedira in his first transfer window as Real Madrid coach. "The more pressure there is, the stronger I am. In Portugal, we say the bigger the ship, the stronger the storm. Fortunately for me, I have always been in big ships. FC Porto were a very big ship in Portugal, Chelsea were also a big ship in England and Inter were a great ship in Italy. Now I’m at Real Madrid, which is considered the biggest ship on the planet."

6• Mourinho on squad rotation during his first spell at Chelsea: "If you have at home one Bentley and one Aston Martin, if you go all day everyday in the Bentley and leave the Aston Martin in the garage you are a bit stupid."

7•"It's like having a blanket that is too small for the bed," Mourinho said when Chelsea were in the midst of an injury crisis at the end of the January transfer window in 2007. "You pull the blanket up to keep your chest warm and your feet stick out. I cannot buy a bigger blanket because the supermarket is closed. But the blanket is made of cashmere."

8•"If you have no eggs, you have no omelette," Mourinho's infamously veiled criticism of Roman Abramovich's transfer policy began in 2007. "In the supermarket, you have class one, class two and class three eggs. Some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So, when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot get there, you have a problem." He was sacked shortly afterwards.

9•  Referencing his famous egg metaphor, Mourinho described his Chelsea team at the start of last season as: “Beautiful young eggs, eggs that need a mum, in this case a dad, to take care of them, to keep them warm during the winter, to bring the blankets and to work and improve them and one day we'll arrive in a moment when the weather changes, the sun rises, we break the eggs and the eggs are ready to go for life at the top level.”

10•"Claude Makelele is not a football player – Makelele is a slave," Mourinho said in criticism of the midfielder being called up to the France squad despite having announced his international retirement. "He’s played the biggest game you can, the World Cup final, and now wants to retire but the coach told us if he is not playing for France, he is not playing for Chelsea. We know the rules. You are a slave, you have no human rights."

11•"The title race is between two horses and a little horse that needs milk and needs to learn how to jump," Mourinho said after Chelsea defeated Manchester City in February this year. "Maybe next season we can race."

12•"Barcelona is a cultural city with many great theatres," Mourinho started, in reaction to a young Lionel Messi getting Asier del Horno sent off for Chelsea in 2006. "And this boy has learned very well. He’s learned play-acting."

13• "Barcelona is a cultural city with many great theatres," Mourinho started, in reaction to a young Lionel Messi getting Asier del Horno sent off for Chelsea in 2006. "And this boy has learned very well. He’s learned play-acting."

14•"If you go hunting with a good dog, you hunt more. If you go with a cat, you hunt less but you're still hunting," Mourinho responded when asking about Gonzalo Higuain's injury, meaning he would be starting Karim Benzema.

15• "If I wanted to work quietly, I would have stayed at Portugal,” Mourinho said at his first press conference as Chelsea boss – the same one he coined the term 'special one'. “In Portugal we have pretty blue chairs, the Champions League, God and then, right after him, me.”

16•It was a goal that came from the moon - from the Anfield stands,” Mourinho said after Chelsea were defeated by a ghost goal in the 2004-05 Champions League semi-final. “The best team lost. Liverpool scored, if you can say that they scored, because maybe you should say the linesman scored.”

17•Young players are a little bit like melons," Mourinho mused in 2007 towards the end of his first stint at Chelsea. "Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100 per cent sure that the melon is good. Sometimes you have beautiful melons but they don’t taste very good and some other melons are a bit ugly and, when you open them, the taste is fantastic. The bridge is a difficult one to cross and they have to play with us and train with us for us to taste the melon."

18• "The one with 30 years experience has never won anything; the one with three years has won a lot," Mourinho wrote in his newspaper column in February 2005, regarding Porto coach Jesualdo Ferreira. "The one with a 30-year career will be forgotten when he ends it; the one with three could end it right now and he could never be erased from history. This could be the story of a donkey who worked for 30 years but never became a horse."

19• “As we say in Portugal, they brought the bus and they left the bus in front of the goal,” Mourinho said, famously coining the term 'parking the bus' after drawing 0-0 with Tottenham in 2004. “I would have been frustrated if I had been a supporter who paid £50 to watch this game because Spurs came to defend. There was only one team looking to win, they only came not to concede; it’s not fair for the football we played.”

20• "I think he is one of these people who is a Viewer," Mourinho said of Arsene Wenger in 2005. "He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. He speaks, speaks, speaks about Chelsea. I don't know if he wants my job, I don't know. He loves Chelsea."



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----Vodkka

op that's 19 na. no's 12 and thirteen are same.

When asked about what he thought about people who say Chelsea is boring:
“In my country, we say the dogs bark and the
caravan goes by,” Mourinho told reporters.
“It’s easier to be a pundit. As a pundit you win
every game, you don’t lose matches. It’s a
fantastic job. Maybe in 10 years' time it will be
my job and then I will win every game.