“A man’s manners are a mirror in which he shows his portrait,” is a popular quote by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, the German writer and statesman (1749-1872). The mobile revolution is destroying the strong cultural manners we inherited from our forebears, leaving a generation of young people evincing deplorable social skills and behavior.
The growing dependence on text messaging, e-mailing and social networking is eroding our age-old etiquettes of courtesy and face-to-face communication among Nigerian youths. Increasingly, our young people ‘text’, ‘BB’, or ‘Whatsapp’ their parents, “welcome back from work” from the comfort of their bed, instead of going to greet them.
Mobile phones actively encourage rudeness, in my opinion. More and more of our young people are addicted to their mobile phones and hang on calls, SMS messaging, internet browsing, use of various apps, games, video and block their ears with ear pieces so much that they ignore the people and responsibilities around them. They make you feel you are interrupting them anytime you begin any conversation; no matter how important what you have to say. Such curt attitude is noticeable not only at homes but it has crept into the work place.
Adults are also caught in the web of the moral decay with a commonality being misuse of social networking sites, shouting over the phone, use of foul and indecorous language and disregard to other people around when making a call. The mobile phone has become a device aiding immorality – sex and crime lures.
As a user of some social networking sites, the display names, ring tones and comments of some other users immediately offend my sensibilities. Imagine display names like pussyeater, bootyqueen, ndidilicious and ringtones/ringbacktones like head-banging seducer, clitarouser, Hot and other similarly suggestive lines.
What happened to our manners? “Good manners have become so rare that some people mistake it for flirtation. The hardest job kids’ face today is learning good manners without seeing any,” says Fred Astaire, an American entertainer. Will kids learn from undergraduate uncles and aunties who live on their phones ignoring them? Mothers who spend hours gossiping with friends and family? Or dads who return home shouting agitatedly on the phone and ignoring a welcome hug?
“Courtesy is the foundation of good manners,” according to William Riley Brooksher, an American author. So let’s start with simple courtesy to those we talk to on phone and also pay attention to others around while we call. Using decent language, music and entertainment presentations is highly recommended especially when you are interacting with people who have been having a healthy communication with you. Can you also take some time off the mobile phone, please? I consider it rudeness when a colleague or friend is perennially fidgeting with his mobile or blocking his ears with an ear piece, and you have to call out several times to get his attention. Show some respect, please.
Manners cost nothing but they are priceless. If we can get our mobile telephone etiquette right, I believe it will be the foundation of moral regeneration and genuine development in Nigeria.

Joseph F. Udo is a banker, communication specialist and advocate of social change. You can reach him on josephfudo@gmail.com or 08033148158.

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