FriedPlantain:
In a mental institution at Yaba a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car. The nurse asks him, "Mumuni what are you doing?" Mumuni replies, "Driving to Abuja!" The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.

The next day the nurse enters Mumuni's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well Mumuni, how you doing?" Mumuni says, "I just arrive in Abuja" Great," replied the nurse.

The nurse leaves Mumuni's room and goes across the hall into Musa's room and finds Musa sitting on his bed masturbating vigorously. With surprise she asks, "Musa what are you doing!" Musa says, "I'm screwing Mumuni's wife while he's away in Abuja!"





FriedPlantain

FriedPlantain:
A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped inches from a shop window.

For a second, everything was quiet in the cab. Then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."

The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years.

omoeso:


Nice one.....

whizqueen:
When is your next update. I'm eager

Adamu a farmer's son somewhere in Kaduna wakes up in the morning and is starving, so he goes downstairs for breakfast.

His mom says, "Before you can eat you need to milk the cow, get the eggs from the chickens, and feed the goats."

"That's not fair!", he screams. But the mom insists.

So the boy grumbles as he's walking out to the field. He's so mad that after he milks the cow, he kicks it. Then when he grabs the eggs, he kicks the chicken. Then when he feeds the goat, he kicks it.

When he comes back in, absolutely starving, his mom throws a cold bowl of akamu on the table in front of him.

"What's this?", he says. "Where's my warm breakfast?!"

The mom says, "Well, you kicked the cow, so you get no milk. You kicked the chicken, so you get no eggs. You kicked the goat, so you get no fried meat."

As she says this, the father comes down the stairs and trips over the cat. He gets so angry that he kicks it.

The boy looks at his mom and says, "Do you want me to tell him the bad news or you will?"




Friedplantain

FriedPlantain:
Friedplantain is currently typing a new joke......... ..........

whizqueen:

Weekend is almost over and you're yet to finish typing your joke

ayam coming joor.

FriedPlantain:


[b] Adamu a farmer's son somewhere in Kaduna wakes up in the morning and is starving, so he goes downstairs for breakfast.

His mom says, "Before you can eat you need to milk the cow, get the eggs from the chickens, and feed the goats."

"That's not fair!", he screams. But the mom insists.

So the boy grumbles as he's walking out to the field. He's so mad that after he milks the cow, he kicks it. Then when he grabs the eggs, he kicks the chicken. Then when he feeds the goat, he kicks it.

When he comes back in, absolutely starving, his mom throws a cold bowl of akamu on the table in front of him.

"What's this?", he says. "Where's my warm breakfast?!"

The mom says, "Well, you kicked the cow, so you get no milk. You kicked the chicken, so you get no eggs. You kicked the goat, so you get no fried meat."

As she says this, the father comes down the stairs and trips over the cat. He gets so angry that he kicks it.

The boy looks at his mom and says, "Do you want me to tell him the bad news or you will?"




Friedplantain
[/b]

FriedPlantain:
[b] There was a businessman in Lagos who was getting ready to go on a long business trip in Abuja. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he’d try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn’t much like the idea of her screwing someone else.
So he went to a store that sold intimacy gadgets and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation, the old man. “Well, I don’t really know of anything that will do the trick.
We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don’t know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except …” said the old man, and then he stopped.
“Except what?” asked the businessman.
“Nothing, nothing,” said the old man.
“C’mon, tell me! I need something!” protested the businessman.
“Well, sir, I don’t usually mention this, but there is the ‘voodoo dick,’” the old man said.
“So what’s up with this voodoo dick?” the businessman asked.
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very ordinary-looking Love Machine.

The businessman laughed, and said, “Big _fucking deal. It looks like every other Love Machine in this shop!”
The old man said, “But you haven’t seen what it’ll do yet.” He pointed to a door and said “Voodoo dick, the door.” The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door could split, the old man said, “Voodoo dick, get back in your box!” The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box and lay there, quiescent once more.
The businessman said, “I’ll take it!” The old man resisted and said it wasn’t for sale, but he finally surrendered to $700 in cash. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special Love Machine and that to use it, all she had to do was say, “Voodoo dick, my pussy.”

He left for his trip satisfied things would be fine while he was gone. After he’d been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably Hot. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the voodoo dick.
She got it out, and said “Voodoo dick, my pusssy!” The voodoo dick shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was great, like nothing she’d ever experienced before.

After three _orgasms, she decided she’d had enough, and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgot to tell her how to shut it off. So she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of the Love Machine.
On the way, another _orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a policeman. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she’d had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn’t been drinking, but that a voodoo dick was stuck in her pusssy, and wouldn’t stop screwing.
The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, “Yea, right. Voodoo dick, my _ass!”



Friedplantain

[/b]

emmyrichie:


Hahahahahaha... Friedplantain mumu

promgurlP:
I guess this friedplantain is still typing his jokes since August

I already finished typing it na babe, oya check out the new joke below.

A nairalander 'Mizmycoli' who'd lived all her years in the East travelled to Lagos in search of a job and was scheduled for an interview two months later with an indigenous oil and gas company on the Island.


Interviewer: * flips through her CV looking quite impressed with what he is seeing* Where were you born Miss Mizmycoli?

Mizmycoli: Enugu

Interviewer: Which part?

Mizmycoli: What do you mean which part? My whole body was born in Enugu!




Cc: lalasticlala

FriedPlantain:
I already finished typing it na babe, oya check out the new joke below.

A nairalander 'Mizmycoli' who'd lived all her years in the East travelled to Lagos in search of a job and was scheduled for an interview two months later with an indigenous oil and gas company on the Island.


Interviewer: * flips through her CV looking quite impressed with what he is seeing* Where were you born Miss Mizmycoli?

Mizmycoli: Enugu

Interviewer: Which part?

Mizmycoli: What do you mean which part? My whole body was born in Enugu!

[/i][/b]

FriedPlantain:
[b]
Not too long ago, a well known nairalander MrsPhyno wanted to know how her husband Phyno would react if she left without telling him where she had gone. She decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore. After writing the letter, she put it on the table in the bedroom and then climbed under the bed to hide until her husband Phyno gets home. When he eventually came back home, he saw the letter on the table and read it. After a few moments of silence, he picked up the pen and added something to the letter. Then he started to get changed, whistling happy tunes and singing and dancing while he did so. He grabbed his phone and dialed a number.
MrsPhyno listened from under the bed as he started chatting to someone. "Hey babe, I'm just changing clothes then will join you," he said.
"As for the other fool, it finally dawned on her that I was fooling around on her and left. I was really wrong to have married her; I wish you and me had met earlier. See you soon, honey!"
Then he hung up and walked out of the room.
In tears and very upset, she climbed out from under the bed and stumbled over to read what her unfaithful husband had written on the end of her letter.
Through teary eyes, she read: "I could see your feet you idiot, I am going out to buy bread."



Friedplantain

[/b]