It's not fair, everytime I get into any kind of argument with my dad now, he threatens to sent me back  to Nigeria to live with my grandma. I can't even go out on a Saturday night with my friends from school without the thousand questions, and if a boy calls the house my dad just flips like I'm just going to Bleep the guy and get pregnant. I think I've had it with my folks, don't know how much more of my Dad being overprotective before I loss my mind

Thank God for kinda dad you av,
der a some dad dat doesn't care bout der children
he must av his own reason for protecting you dat way

he threatens to sent me back to Nigeria to live with my grandma.

believe me he cant do this, he's just threatens u

pls. my dear don't you ever nurse such a thought of running away from home, i believe your dad wants the very best for you.

and if i may ask how old are u?

Your Dad Loves you, you definately wont understand it now but you will appreciate it later. I flt the same way with my Dad and now i wish i could have obeyed him more because i made mistakes that i wish i could erase now. All your father is saying may not make sense now but later you will thank him

How old are you?

MaryJane~:

It's not fair, everytime I get into any kind of argument with my dad now, he threatens to sent me back  to Nigeria to live with my grandma. I can't even go out on a Saturday night with my friends from school without the thousand questions, and if a boy calls the house my dad just flips like I'm just going to Bleep the guy and get pregnant. I think I've had it with my folks, don't know how much more of my Dad being overprotective before I loss my mind

Don't take that nonsense from your old man, just save up a little money and get your own place or find you a friend you can crash with.

first we should probably ask you how old you are, if you are under 18 and your father is paying for your education then i suggest you obey his rules (in his house) until you are ready for the real world (having a career), then move out. i can understand how it might seem unfair to you but safe life at home is better than unknown dangerous life outside. think very seriously before going on this "adventure" that might do you more harm than good.
if you haven't got a job, then i suggest you stay home.
if your reason for running away is because your father is CARING then i suggest you stay home.
if you reason for running away is because you want to hang out with your peeps without having to answer to no one then i suggest you stay home.
wherever you will go, there will be rules to follow, that you like it or not. don't compare your family life with your friend's family life. everyone is different.
life on the run is always best when seen in the movies, get your money right, your job right, then move out!
1) if you haven't got a SAFE place to go when you decide to run away, then i suggest you stay home.
2) if you haven't got any means to earn money legally then i suggest you stay home
3) if you haven't spent any day on the street before, then i suggest you stay home.

We don't know why your father doesn't trust you on these issues but, AT LEAST, he lets you go out on saturday nights, try talking to him and coming up with suggestions on how he could trust you a little more, he seems like an over caring/loving parent, is that wrong?
don't forget that he does what he does because he loves you, even if he doesn't say it.

SHENANIGAN:

Don't take that nonsense from your old man, just save up a little money and get your own place or find you a friend you can crash with.

What the. . . . ? Will you first find out how old he/she is before yapping off?

Run away from home and make the biggest mistake of your life.

Yeye girl! u should be greatful for the kinda dad u have.
Dont u know boys snaped!, i love u na wen boy never Bleep or wen boy never see girl wen her ass and tit pass ur own, na wen eye dirty, wen dirty commot for eye we dey see clearly. Worst off if he see girl wen Bleep pass u ur own don finish patapata.
When ur feelings get burnt u will appreciate wht ur dad is doing. Must u Bleep before u get married? any boy who love u must wait, ur boy friend should come home and impress ur parents they will know if he is well brought up. Following a tattoo boy no be am oh!, check where u come from before u move further abi u wan marry today divorce tomorrow after having 2kids. Then u and d man go dey share weekend custody??, tufiaka.

If i m lieing go and have sex wit ur boyfriend then after some few weeks tell him u are pregnant, tht is when u will know how foolish u have been wit ur feelings.

Thanks for some of the responses, what most of you don't understand is that I'm 18 and grown, I've worked since I was 16 and I'm very independent for my age. I'll be starting collage next fall and my dad is suggesting I live off campus preferably at home, while all my friend will be in the dorm enjoying the college experience I'll be home will my folks under my dads rules.

I dont think any father will just be making a smoke without a fire, you check well what has happened and you might be able to tell why he is being the way he is, show to him that you can be trusted and i am sure he will relax his mind, besides, i am sure he just want the best for you, i will admit though, that some of the way we go about showing love cld be hard sometimes, but i so much blv he is just being a father and maybe while he was young, he had shown the babes pepper, so he is afraid.
Chill and talk it out with him, running away is not a way to fix wahala

MaryJane~:

It's not fair, everytime I get into any kind of argument with my dad now, he threatens to sent me back  to Nigeria to live with my grandma. I can't even go out on a Saturday night with my friends from school without the thousand questions, and if a boy calls the house my dad just flips like I'm just going to Bleep the guy and get pregnant. I think I've had it with my folks, don't know how much more of my Dad being overprotective before I loss my mind

"Run Away Love".
Like Adekennis said, you're indeed quite lucky that he even cares to know your whereabouts.
Now, I'm not sure if he loves you or not, because I do not know him.
But my own mother was like that Whenever a boy calls, it's either he's my bf or w/e.
Yes, she even threatened to send me back to my dad
The point am trying to make is, it worked, it actually worked.
She was trying to make me understand that the world is a competition, the world is dangerous, it's not as rosy as we children seems to see it.
She was worried about me, and she made it clear that she WOULD do all she can to keep me safe.
I had curfews, I had my phone with me at all times to let her reach me, she knew my friends and made sure that I was not hanging out with riffraff, etc.
Yes, I was vexed, I was angry, sometimes I wanted out because I couldn't deal with it.
But guess what, am now out, but I still live as though she was with me.
What I learned stayed with me, discipline stayed with me, because I'm hundred of miles away from her did NOT make me lose it.

Right now you might be vexed and  you might be angry, but I'm letting you know, it is the best for you.
How old are you? Like around 13-17?
Those friends you want to spend the night out won't be there for you in the outside world. They won't fight for you when it's time to leave for uni. You prolly won't be going to the same Uni.
So chill, and just listen to your father. Try to understand him, of course immaturity and the wants to do what your friends want might make it hard to understand, but just try to understand.
OUR PARENTS ARE NOT EVIL, THE EVIL EXIST IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD. OUR PARENTS ARE THE ONES TO TEACH US THE SKILLS TO FIGHT IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD. IF A SOLDIER LOSES HIS DEFENSE IN THE LINE OF DUTY , HE IS AS VULNERABLE AS HE CAN EVER BE.

So. . . . .just live through it. It's all in your best interest, trust me. I mean, it's not like you'll live with him forever.

HeatFusion:

"Run Away Love".
Like Adekennis said, you're indeed quite lucky that he even cares to know your whereabouts.
Now, I'm not sure if he loves you or not, because I do not know him.
But my own mother was like that Whenever a boy calls, it's either he's my bf or w/e.
Yes, she even threatened to send me back to my dad
The point am trying to make is, it worked, it actually worked.
She was trying to make me understand that the world is a competition, the world is dangerous, it's not as rosy as we children seems to see it.
She was worried about me, and she made it clear that she WOULD do all she can to keep me safe.
I had curfews, I had my phone with me at all times to let her reach me, she knew my friends and made sure that I was not hanging out with riffraff, etc.
Yes, I was vexed, I was angry, sometimes I wanted out because I couldn't deal with it.
But guess what, am now out, but I still live as though she was with me.
What I learned stayed with me, discipline stayed with me, because I'm hundred of miles away from her did NOT make me lose it.

Right now you might be vexed and  you might be angry, but I'm letting you know, it is the best for you.
How old are you? Like around 13-17?
Those friends you want to spend the night out won't be there for you in the outside world. They won't fight for you when it's time to leave for uni. You prolly won't be going to the same Uni.
So chill, and just listen to your father. Try to understand him, of course immaturity and the wants to do what your friends want might make it hard to understand, but just try to understand.
OUR PARENTS ARE NOT EVIL, THE EVIL EXIST IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD. OUR PARENTS ARE THE ONES TO TEACH US THE SKILLS TO FIGHT IN THE OUTSIDE WORLD. IF A SOLDIER LOSES HIS DEFENSE IN THE LINE OF DUTY , HE IS AS VULNERABLE AS HE CAN EVER BE.

So. . . . .just live through it. It's all in your best interest, trust me. I mean, it's not like you'll live with him forever.

I love my dad so much, I'm just sick of his ways dear. And I don't  want people to think I'm just this irresponsible and selfish teen that only thinks of herself, that's totally not the case, I'm starting college in the fall here in SO CAL on a full athletic scholarship, all my time in High School I was always into sports doing community service, I was never into the crazy party lifestyle.

Most of the problem I think is that my Dad was most of the time in Nigeria working, and me and my siblings had lived here with our mom. We would visit him every year in Nigeria, now his moved back to the States and he just wants to raise us like we  in Nigeria. Life is different in Nigeria I know, there  a few things we can do here in the States that may look strange to someone living in Nigeria. I just wish my Dad would realize that this is America not Nigeria.

Be grateful you have a dad, many would love one right now.

MaryJane~:



I love my dad so much, I'm just sick of his ways dear. And I don't  want people to think I'm just this irresponsible and selfish teen that only thinks of herself, that's totally not the case, I'm starting college in the fall here in SO CAL on a full athletic scholarship, all my time in High School I was always into sports doing community service, I was never into the crazy party lifestyle.

Most of the problem I think is that my Dad was most of the time in Nigeria working, and me and my siblings had lived here with our mom. We would visit him every year in Nigeria, now his moved back to the States and he just wants to raise us like we  in Nigeria. Life is different in Nigeria I know, there  a few things we can do here in the States that may look strange to someone living in Nigeria. I just wish my Dad would realize that this is America not Nigeria.

You know, I've never been more  happy to read a post today as I am to read yours.  

Tell me this, how old are you? No no, am not trying to be rude, it's just that, it makes your situation a little clearer to me.

*offtopic* What sports did you play?

You can take a man out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of him is the old saying . I understand him perfectly, I understand his motive, and I understand his decision.
Why? Because I was once there. America is not Nigeria, you're right. You're in America, the land of "opportunity", don't you think he wants you to take advantage of it?
Be something he can never be. Good thing, he does not want you to fail, he wants to protect you, however, he's trying to live his life through you.

Lemme tell you a funny story right. Okay, I was still in middle school. My friend invited me over, I went and somehow she talked me into her braiding my hair. I got home around 7-8sh. Lol, my mom almost killed me. Why was I out that late and who was I with?
I told her I was at my friends. She started yabbing and talking abt this and that. This boy this this boy that.
Ughhhh! I got mad.
But. . . .but. . . .guess what. I understand her point of view and I tried all my best to let her know that I'm not doing anything wrong.
Arguing with my mom is like seriously a waste of time. Just let her talk, listen, and tell her I understand. Because the more I argue with her, the more she continues to think I'm being "Americanized" or not listening to her.

Arguing with your dad and doing what he asked you not to do will make him even more stricter on you.
You've just got to understand that he's not doing it on purpose. There's always a motif behind every plot.

I feel your pain maryjane. Nigerian parents don't understand, the think being very strict can prevent a teen from doing what ever My advice to you is, never travel to Nigeria with your parents and if you do make sure you don't let your passport out of your sight. My uncle pulled the same trick on my little cousin last year and the poor dude is now in Nigeria and can't come back.

At 18 I could not go out on a saturday night but that is not the point I guess. Do all you can to make sure you stay on campus like other decent young ladies. It sounds like so far your parents have done a good job with you and you will not get crazy when you get on campus. Insist on not staying at home. It is always like this with most african parents. It might also be possible that you are displaying some new behaviors that scares your father. You will have to convince him not just with words but also your behavior that you can handle campus life. Goodluck

where do u plan 2 run 2?i hope u r not planning 2 run 2 nairaland,if u r.be warned there r loads of things going on here,that u mite not be able 2 bear,anyway u'll always run back home 2 ur da.

ah ok, NOW I UNDERSTAND YOU, it will be really hard to let your dad see it "your" way but with time , he will understand that this is the states and that there are things done differently. if he has lived in the states previously then he should be more understanding to the lifestyle in the states but if he is an old fashion hardcore nigerian then you have a big battle ahead of you UNTIL you move out and fend for yourself.
my father used to be like yours, it was either we follow his rules or we "hit the road". the first time i left i was 15 and the social services found a home for me within an hour after i left. they paid and took care of me. a few weeks later, he realized that i didn't need his support to live my life so he asked me to come back home (i was so glad to go back home). i had call his bluff!!!!! the difference is that the social services in the states are different and also you are a woman (more dangerous) so if you want to go ahead, i suggest you have a very safe location to go to(family preferably), and enough money to take care of yourself for the first 3months.
like a previous poster said, you can never take the 9ja out of the man,

My step dad used to be a lil over protective too.~~~Thank GOD he lives far away!!

Yoruba Proverb: 'Won gba omo adie lowo iku, o ni won ko je ki oun re je ni akitan' (While saving the chicken from an untimely death, it alleges that it is being deprived the abundance of the world)

While you might not agree with your father's methods, few can doubt his intentions.
You are 18 and so you feel that you are matured enough to roam the world (pele). Maturity has less to do with age than it would appear at first. If you exhibit the required level of responsibility, your father will most likely grant you the freedom you seek.

I find it funny that the freedom most are ready to die for in their youth, lose value as they grow older. When you are much older, you will be shocked how less people would care about what you do with yourself. When you have your own kids, you will better appreciate your dad's position.

[size=4pt]shakes head in pity[/size]

marijuana is not good for the brains

JustGood:

[size=4pt]shakes head in pity[/size]

marijuana is not good for the brains

Says who

Before you Loss your mind?

Girl, Get a limited edition Nike Air Jordan, you wont only run, you would FLY!

Running away is not the end of the problem you are facing
right now.

This thing happens to everybody in every home and it cuts
across race,tribes,regions and continent.

You are a teenager,my dear, and that means your parents
have to watch over you if they must prove to the world that
they are responsible parents(which l feel they are).

You should count yourself lucky for having a daddy like yours
who feels so responsible that he talks to you all of the time-
but you don't seem to appreciate this fact about him.

What you need to do now is to establish a BIG Communication
base between you and your father.I would appreciate it if you will
take the lead in this instance.

Your father is becoming gilttery because you are coming of age and
he fears that something may go wrong when you are allowed the
"freedom" you are talking about.

Give him your words of assurance.Make him know that you
understand his fears about unwanted pregnancy and a disgrace
to the family through such.

Your old man will be shocked at first because you don't seem to be
having that kind of relationship going at present.You should not
worry much because he will later see reason with you; he will realise
that you now seem to understand his point-of-view regarding the
matter at hand.

Try the above and let's see the result.

You may want to read my articles on the need for communications
between parents and their teenage children and how to go about it.

Visit my sites below.

Sikaz
www.parentingparadise.com
http://parentingsecretswithkazeem..com

Threadstarter, avoid marijuana.
it will do you more good than harm.

i went to my first club at 21. my parents didnt know about this.
my mum said the following in igbo ' i will put 21inch nail in your head the day you live this house for a club or bring a girl pregnant girl home'
anytime i hear those words, them no born me well to chilax.

you want to hang out with guys at night? I pity your life.
how old are you?
be grateful you have a father who cares.
let him send you back to nigeria, maybe that will spank some lessons into your head.
there you can hang out and try to have all the fun you want. no one will tell you to stop.
Is having fun the priority of your life now?

FBS:

you want to hang out with guys at night? I pity your life.
how old are you?
be grateful you have a father who cares.
let him send you back to nigeria, maybe that will spank some lessons into your head.
there you can hang out and try to have all the fun you want. no one will tell you to stop.
Is having fun the priority of your life now?

I went back and read all the op posts no where did see mention she wants to hang out with guys all night. Bushman at 18 there is nothing wrong with going out on a date with the opposite sex. GET OUT FROM THAT JUUGLE YOU LIFE IN, TIMES HAVE CHANGED. The poster is on a scholarship to go to college, do you know how many kids out there that don't want to work or go to school.

seems to me that your parents love you and care about your well being. They seem to be stereotypical naija parents who have heard every horror story from their so called friends that dont even have a high school diploma. Just take it easy and honor your parents just because you live off campus doesn't mean that you wont experience college to the fullest though living in the dorms do rock as hell but you need to chill. in another year or two i would look for a room mate and move.

besides your screenname would make me scared of what you will do if left alone

Get into college and you'll have the freedom you seek.

@ Heat Fusion,

Thanks for responding, you really are a very understanding girl, it's good to know I'm not the only girl that has gone through this mess with Nigerian parents. Hey Sorry I've not been online for a while now, that's why I have not answered your question dear. While I'm 18 years too old and you wanted to know what sport I'm into. While I love track and filed, and I participate in a few events but my passion is lacrosse. I've always been in a term since middle school, it's not a very popular sport I know but I love it.