Let me just say that I'm not a poet so please go easy on me

I’m drowning inside myself
Can someone please help me?

He has me under his thumb
What have I become?
I used to be a prisoner of his love
Now all I want to do is escape
From all of the mess he’s made
Like a puppet master with his strings,
His every move I’m mimicking,
Can someone please cut free?
I’m sick and tired of performing,
And I don’t know how more I can take.
The joy has turned to pain,
Funny how everything was better yesterday.

Now where the sun used to shine,
There’s only darkness inside.
He’s never too far behind
To let me know I’ve stepped out of line.
Damn, I can’t even breathe
I can’t sleep without him watching me.
I can’t speak without him interrupting me.
The tears I’ve cried by his side
Are slowly drowning me inside
I want him to let me be,
To let me break free
His hold is consuming me
And he doesn’t know it,
Because I’m too scared to even show it.
So I need,
Someone to please set me free,
From this control freak?

Honestly though, no comments??

Was it that bad?

Y'all are just too mean.

My thread flopped for the first time

I think it's sexism. Stephen posts something and everyone (myself included, I admit) is all up on it and I do the same and no one everyone bothers to read it.

I'm never posting here again

DaPhoenix:

My thread flopped for the first time

Why so serious?

Ras Pwn:

Why so serious?

Oh Lawdy. Can you please comment on the poem?? lol

It's cute Phoenix. . . . . . .

But here is a writer's tip.
What state of emotion or thought were you in when you wrote this?

My best work on this thread were all written after I had mentally put myself in that position. Like when the "Role Play" thread was up. I made myself feel the emotion to whatever subject given.

So when I see a title called "Control Freak", I want to feel the intense of the piece. I want to feel like I'm the one in the story/poem.

You get what I'm saying. . . . . .

DaPhoenix:

Oh Lawdy. Can you please comment on the poem?? lol

Sorry gif freak, no comments about the poem. Post a song and I'll give you a sound feedback, that's my specialty.

onyinye2:

What state of emotion or thought were you in when you wrote this?

I saw some reality show and I was just kinda imagining what it would be like if, by accident, I was in a relationship with a guy like that.

onyinye2:

So when I see a title called "Control Freak", I want to feel the intense of the piece. I want to feel like I'm the one in the story/poem.

You get what I'm saying. . . . . .

Yeah . . . I guess I should as opposed to "He has me under his thumb" I should have gone with what I originally planned "You had me under your thumb" and switch the rest of the hes to yous.

onyinye2:

My best work on this thread were all written after I had mentally put myself in that position. Like when the "Role Play" thread was up. I made myself feel the emotion to whatever subject given.

I miss that thread. It was the highlight of my summer.

Ras Pwn:

Sorry gif freak, no comments about the poem. Post a song and I'll give you a sound feedback, that's my specialty.

I don't sing, I save my falsettos for my phone intimacy sessions 

Nice poem - sounds like a tale of slowly sinking despair, silent suffering.

It doesn't appear extremely bad though, sounds like she still thinks things can go back to the way they were in the good times.

Thank you Debo love.

im with onyinye on this one

It doesn't really scream control freak but it was good. Great job for a beginner though. Bravo!

stephen!
able mod where have u been?
u need to give us full explanations for ur extended absence

bluespice:

stephen!
able mod where have u been?
u need to give us full explanations for ur extended absence

He comes and goes like the wind

hahaha I've been real busy but I'm here now What's up?

DaPhoneix. The poem makes sense its really nice. I myself I'm a writer and believe me, I value creativity so much.