YOU KNOW YOUR MUM IS A NIGERIAN
1. when she says "Get my kini" and believes with all confidence that she gave birth to a mind reader
2. when you say "mommy, I'm Sorry" and she replies "Sorry for yourself"
3. when you ask her where you should drop something and she says: “drop it on my head now."
4. when she brings food wrapped in a nylon bag from a party.
5. When you say: “mummy, I have malaria” and she replied: “why wont you have malaria when you have been pressing phone since morning”
6. When you say: “I came 2nd in my class” and she replies: “soo the person that came first has two heads, abi?”
7. When she takes the dstv remote to work, just to punish you.
8. when you’re watching tv with her and then she sleeps off and still doesn’t want you to change the channel
9. if when you tell her you are going to friends place and she be like: when last did they come here to play with you?
10. when your mum asks you if the food is enough and you reply no and she says go and drink water
11. when she tells you if I hear Peem, you will hear ween.
12. when she touches hot pot comfortably without a napkin
13. when with one look she tells you, you will get the beating of your life when you get home
14. when you say: my wedding will be baaaad and she replies: God forbid. Your wedding will not be bad in Jesus name
15. When she tells you: 'I didnt kill my mother, so you cannot kill me'
16. When she calls you from your room upstairs and then sends you back upstairs to bring her purse..
17. When you ask her to help you with your home work and she advised: go and meet your brother. You then say, so you don’t even know it and she replies: Awon ebi baba e ni olodo. (it is your father’s family members that are dullards)
18. When you ask her to refund the money you lend her and she tells you "all the food you've been eating at home nko?"
19. if she is more accurate with her slippers than Robin Hood is, with arrows.
20. Omo aseru fun e(your child will do the same to u)
I Love my Mum

when she beats you and you are not allowed cry