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Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... - Family (3) - Nairaland

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Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by askYomi(m): 10:24am On Aug 17, 2015
grin
mrcasanova1:
There is a rapid increase in divorce cases in the world today.

Our darling nation, Nigeria is not left out of this trend.

So why do most marriages fail? Why do people go to the altar and after solemnly exchanging those vows, want out within the next couple of years?

In this write-up, I am going to give a list of 10 good reasons why I think a number of marriages crash. Enjoy them... and more importantly, learn from them whether you are married yet or not.

NOTE: There are numerous reasons why a marriage may fail.

Here are the top ten most common ones.

1. Selfishness: If you consistently put your wants and needs before those of your loved one, they may start to feel unwanted and unloved.

When there are too many needs that are neglected, your unloved spouse will end up feeling ignored and used. The most destructive forms of selfishness includes jealously, control, and manipulation.

But in less destructive forms, it consists of lack of respect and consideration.

And sad as it sounds, most Nigerian men are guilty of being jealous, control-freaks and over possessive. The women are not left out too, but it's more rampant among the male folk.

This is a ultimate marriage killer.

2. Disrespect in a marriage: All good marriages need acceptance, admiration, appreciation and emotional safety.

As you discover your different opinions and your differences as people, your anger and frustration can escalate to impatience, labeling, criticism, or simply hurting their feelings. Changing a spouse’s feelings by ridicule and brainwashing is disrespectful and is so unneeded. When you are constantly feeling “attacked” by your partner, it is often hard to continue loving them.

3. Dishonesty: Trust and respect is the basis of love. Lies and disloyalty destroys the trust in any relationship. Marriage is a partnership between two people who love each other. Each have to work just as hard as the other to ensure that there is trust. So ladies, stop screaming "My husby doesn't trust me; it kills me". You now know that to earn his trust, you need to work for it.

4. Bad habits and addictions: Addictions that are strong enough to be put ahead of your partner will doom a marriage to failure.

Anger, betrayal, hurt, and pain follow the wake of the addiction and can easily hurt the marriage.

Aldo, there are other forms of addiction that annoys your spouse. Imagine a man self-servicing all the time in presence of his wife. We had many complaints like this, even on Nairaland here.

Getting help with the addiction is key to keeping your marriage from falling apart.

5. Communication: When a marriage consists too much of blame, conflict, and verbal attacks, you start to feel as though you’re living with your enemy, not your best friend.

Marriage has to be a safe haven, not a place that you are afraid of.

No one can ever always be right. When you avoid a conflict, you only make it worse by not talking about it with each other.

The emotional connection is also then lost when they don’t share their opinions and don’t try to fix the problem.

6. Leading Separate Lives: When couples don’t spend enough time together, the relationship suffers.

When you begin to live independently, you lose the emotional connection and the joy a couple should have because of never being together.

Time needs to be put aside for each other for conversation and for fun.

Without these things, it’s easy to lose connection with your significant other.

7. Lack of affection: When there isn’t affection in relationships, such as kind words and caring
gestures, problems arise.

Without such things, your love for one another can feel hollow and unfulfilled.

I hear my Naija sisters chant all the time "Nigerian men are not romantic". Haba sister, being romantic is not for us alone. When last did you show your man how much you love him? Now you see that you are guilty too. wink

8. Lack of emotional intimacy: When one doesn’t share their feelings and goals, it leads to loneliness and sadness. The feeling of friendship comes from sharing such things and when these things become unshared, you lose that friendship with your spouse.

9. Angry outbursts and rages: Anger can create more anger and withdrawal, which both leads to communication issues. However, anger can also be purposeful and can help to solve problem.

10. Poor boundaries: In a marriage, you shouldn't go looking for other intimate relationships with people of the opposite sex. It will only create trust issues and possible retaliation from your spouse because of the hurt they may feel.

Once you lose the love, connection, and trust with a significant other, why would you still be with them?

A marriage is built on these three things, and once you lose them, the only thing you now have is lost communication between the two of you and a possible new enemy based on things that may have been said in a heated argument.

So let's learn to avoid these marriage killers and implement the things we need to implement for a better and conducive homes.

You can add yours. grin




u call itself 'Mr Casanova'.....and u r giving me marriage tips?
mrcasanova1:
There is a rapid increase in divorce cases in the world today.

Our darling nation, Nigeria is not left out of this trend.

So why do most marriages fail? Why do people go to the altar and after solemnly exchanging those vows, want out within the next couple of years?

In this write-up, I am going to give a list of 10 good reasons why I think a number of marriages crash. Enjoy them... and more importantly, learn from them whether you are married yet or not.

NOTE: There are numerous reasons why a marriage may fail.

Here are the top ten most common ones.

1. Selfishness: If you consistently put your wants and needs before those of your loved one, they may start to feel unwanted and unloved.

When there are too many needs that are neglected, your unloved spouse will end up feeling ignored and used. The most destructive forms of selfishness includes jealously, control, and manipulation.

But in less destructive forms, it consists of lack of respect and consideration.

And sad as it sounds, most Nigerian men are guilty of being jealous, control-freaks and over possessive. The women are not left out too, but it's more rampant among the male folk.

This is a ultimate marriage killer.

2. Disrespect in a marriage: All good marriages need acceptance, admiration, appreciation and emotional safety.

As you discover your different opinions and your differences as people, your anger and frustration can escalate to impatience, labeling, criticism, or simply hurting their feelings. Changing a spouse’s feelings by ridicule and brainwashing is disrespectful and is so unneeded. When you are constantly feeling “attacked” by your partner, it is often hard to continue loving them.

3. Dishonesty: Trust and respect is the basis of love. Lies and disloyalty destroys the trust in any relationship. Marriage is a partnership between two people who love each other. Each have to work just as hard as the other to ensure that there is trust. So ladies, stop screaming "My husby doesn't trust me; it kills me". You now know that to earn his trust, you need to work for it.

4. Bad habits and addictions: Addictions that are strong enough to be put ahead of your partner will doom a marriage to failure.

Anger, betrayal, hurt, and pain follow the wake of the addiction and can easily hurt the marriage.

Aldo, there are other forms of addiction that annoys your spouse. Imagine a man self-servicing all the time in presence of his wife. We had many complaints like this, even on Nairaland here.

Getting help with the addiction is key to keeping your marriage from falling apart.

5. Communication: When a marriage consists too much of blame, conflict, and verbal attacks, you start to feel as though you’re living with your enemy, not your best friend.

Marriage has to be a safe haven, not a place that you are afraid of.

No one can ever always be right. When you avoid a conflict, you only make it worse by not talking about it with each other.

The emotional connection is also then lost when they don’t share their opinions and don’t try to fix the problem.

6. Leading Separate Lives: When couples don’t spend enough time together, the relationship suffers.

When you begin to live independently, you lose the emotional connection and the joy a couple should have because of never being together.

Time needs to be put aside for each other for conversation and for fun.

Without these things, it’s easy to lose connection with your significant other.

7. Lack of affection: When there isn’t affection in relationships, such as kind words and caring
gestures, problems arise.

Without such things, your love for one another can feel hollow and unfulfilled.

I hear my Naija sisters chant all the time "Nigerian men are not romantic". Haba sister, being romantic is not for us alone. When last did you show your man how much you love him? Now you see that you are guilty too. wink

8. Lack of emotional intimacy: When one doesn’t share their feelings and goals, it leads to loneliness and sadness. The feeling of friendship comes from sharing such things and when these things become unshared, you lose that friendship with your spouse.

9. Angry outbursts and rages: Anger can create more anger and withdrawal, which both leads to communication issues. However, anger can also be purposeful and can help to solve problem.

10. Poor boundaries: In a marriage, you shouldn't go looking for other intimate relationships with people of the opposite sex. It will only create trust issues and possible retaliation from your spouse because of the hurt they may feel.

Once you lose the love, connection, and trust with a significant other, why would you still be with them?

A marriage is built on these three things, and once you lose them, the only thing you now have is lost communication between the two of you and a possible new enemy based on things that may have been said in a heated argument.

So let's learn to avoid these marriage killers and implement the things we need to implement for a better and conducive homes.

You can add yours. grin




u call itself 'Mr Casanova'.....and u r giving me marriage tips?

issorai
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by LaudGuy: 10:28am On Aug 17, 2015
Ain't you forgetting something? Lack of finances is the true source of disrespect in naija marriages. #fact. Money is not everything, but your average naija girl can never disrespect you if you caked out. Even in the midst of severe physical or emotional abuse.




Booty bounce party mix download link
http://www.datafilehost.com/d/f2d8bd1e

1 Like

Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by Nobody: 10:30am On Aug 17, 2015
Loving my new relationship, Oluchi I love you. Even with her imperfections, she is perfect for me.
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by onyekadike: 10:41am On Aug 17, 2015
mrcasanova1:
There is a rapid increase in divorce cases in the world today.

Our darling nation, Nigeria is not left out of this trend.

So why do most marriages fail? Why do people go to the altar and after solemnly exchanging those vows, want out within the next couple of years?
Ur right oooo
In this write-up, I am going to give a list of 10 good reasons why I think a number of marriages crash. Enjoy them... and more importantly, learn from them whether you are married yet or not.

NOTE: There are numerous reasons why a marriage may fail.

Here are the top ten most common ones.

1. Selfishness: If you consistently put your wants and needs before those of your loved one, they may start to feel unwanted and unloved.

When there are too many needs that are neglected, your unloved spouse will end up feeling ignored and used. The most destructive forms of selfishness includes jealously, control, and manipulation.

But in less destructive forms, it consists of lack of respect and consideration.

And sad as it sounds, most Nigerian men are guilty of being jealous, control-freaks and over possessive. The women are not left out too, but it's more rampant among the male folk.

This is a ultimate marriage killer.

2. Disrespect in a marriage: All good marriages need acceptance, admiration, appreciation and emotional safety.

As you discover your different opinions and your differences as people, your anger and frustration can escalate to impatience, labeling, criticism, or simply hurting their feelings. Changing a spouse’s feelings by ridicule and brainwashing is disrespectful and is so unneeded. When you are constantly feeling “attacked” by your partner, it is often hard to continue loving them.

3. Dishonesty: Trust and respect is the basis of love. Lies and disloyalty destroys the trust in any relationship. Marriage is a partnership between two people who love each other. Each have to work just as hard as the other to ensure that there is trust. So ladies, stop screaming "My husby doesn't trust me; it kills me". You now know that to earn his trust, you need to work for it.

4. Bad habits and addictions: Addictions that are strong enough to be put ahead of your partner will doom a marriage to failure.

Anger, betrayal, hurt, and pain follow the wake of the addiction and can easily hurt the marriage.

Aldo, there are other forms of addiction that annoys your spouse. Imagine a man self-servicing all the time in presence of his wife. We had many complaints like this, even on Nairaland here.

Getting help with the addiction is key to keeping your marriage from falling apart.

5. Communication: When a marriage consists too much of blame, conflict, and verbal attacks, you start to feel as though you’re living with your enemy, not your best friend.

Marriage has to be a safe haven, not a place that you are afraid of.

No one can ever always be right. When you avoid a conflict, you only make it worse by not talking about it with each other.

The emotional connection is also then lost when they don’t share their opinions and don’t try to fix the problem.

6. Leading Separate Lives: When couples don’t spend enough time together, the relationship suffers.

When you begin to live independently, you lose the emotional connection and the joy a couple should have because of never being together.

Time needs to be put aside for each other for conversation and for fun.

Without these things, it’s easy to lose connection with your significant other.

7. Lack of affection: When there isn’t affection in relationships, such as kind words and caring
gestures, problems arise.

Without such things, your love for one another can feel hollow and unfulfilled.

I hear my Naija sisters chant all the time "Nigerian men are not romantic". Haba sister, being romantic is not for us alone. When last did you show your man how much you love him? Now you see that you are guilty too. wink

8. Lack of emotional intimacy: When one doesn’t share their feelings and goals, it leads to loneliness and sadness. The feeling of friendship comes from sharing such things and when these things become unshared, you lose that friendship with your spouse.

9. Angry outbursts and rages: Anger can create more anger and withdrawal, which both leads to communication issues. However, anger can also be purposeful and can help to solve problem.

10. Poor boundaries: In a marriage, you shouldn't go looking for other intimate relationships with people of the opposite sex. It will only create trust issues and possible retaliation from your spouse because of the hurt they may feel.

Once you lose the love, connection, and trust with a significant other, why would you still be with them?

A marriage is built on these three things, and once you lose them, the only thing you now have is lost communication between the two of you and a possible new enemy based on things that may have been said in a heated argument.

So let's learn to avoid these marriage killers and implement the things we need to implement for a better and conducive homes.

You can add yours. grin
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by Toks2008(m): 10:47am On Aug 17, 2015
mrcasanova1:
There is a rapid increase in divorce cases in the world today.

Our darling nation, Nigeria is not left out of this trend.

So why do most marriages fail? Why do people go to the altar and after solemnly exchanging those vows, want out within the next couple of years?

In this write-up, I am going to give a list of 10 good reasons why I think a number of marriages crash. Enjoy them... and more importantly, learn from them whether you are married yet or not.

NOTE: There are numerous reasons why a marriage may fail.

Here are the top ten most common ones.

1. Selfishness: If you consistently put your wants and needs before those of your loved one, they may start to feel unwanted and unloved.

When there are too many needs that are neglected, your unloved spouse will end up feeling ignored and used. The most destructive forms of selfishness includes jealously, control, and manipulation.

But in less destructive forms, it consists of lack of respect and consideration.

And sad as it sounds, most Nigerian men are guilty of being jealous, control-freaks and over possessive. The women are not left out too, but it's more rampant among the male folk.

This is a ultimate marriage killer.

2. Disrespect in a marriage: All good marriages need acceptance, admiration, appreciation and emotional safety.

As you discover your different opinions and your differences as people, your anger and frustration can escalate to impatience, labeling, criticism, or simply hurting their feelings. Changing a spouse’s feelings by ridicule and brainwashing is disrespectful and is so unneeded. When you are constantly feeling “attacked” by your partner, it is often hard to continue loving them.

3. Dishonesty: Trust and respect is the basis of love. Lies and disloyalty destroys the trust in any relationship. Marriage is a partnership between two people who love each other. Each have to work just as hard as the other to ensure that there is trust. So ladies, stop screaming "My husby doesn't trust me; it kills me". You now know that to earn his trust, you need to work for it.

4. Bad habits and addictions: Addictions that are strong enough to be put ahead of your partner will doom a marriage to failure.

Anger, betrayal, hurt, and pain follow the wake of the addiction and can easily hurt the marriage.

Aldo, there are other forms of addiction that annoys your spouse. Imagine a man self-servicing all the time in presence of his wife. We had many complaints like this, even on Nairaland here.

Getting help with the addiction is key to keeping your marriage from falling apart.

5. Communication: When a marriage consists too much of blame, conflict, and verbal attacks, you start to feel as though you’re living with your enemy, not your best friend.

Marriage has to be a safe haven, not a place that you are afraid of.

No one can ever always be right. When you avoid a conflict, you only make it worse by not talking about it with each other.

The emotional connection is also then lost when they don’t share their opinions and don’t try to fix the problem.

6. Leading Separate Lives: When couples don’t spend enough time together, the relationship suffers.

When you begin to live independently, you lose the emotional connection and the joy a couple should have because of never being together.

Time needs to be put aside for each other for conversation and for fun.

Without these things, it’s easy to lose connection with your significant other.

7. Lack of affection: When there isn’t affection in relationships, such as kind words and caring
gestures, problems arise.

Without such things, your love for one another can feel hollow and unfulfilled.

I hear my Naija sisters chant all the time "Nigerian men are not romantic". Haba sister, being romantic is not for us alone. When last did you show your man how much you love him? Now you see that you are guilty too. wink

8. Lack of emotional intimacy: When one doesn’t share their feelings and goals, it leads to loneliness and sadness. The feeling of friendship comes from sharing such things and when these things become unshared, you lose that friendship with your spouse.

9. Angry outbursts and rages: Anger can create more anger and withdrawal, which both leads to communication issues. However, anger can also be purposeful and can help to solve problem.

10. Poor boundaries: In a marriage, you shouldn't go looking for other intimate relationships with people of the opposite sex. It will only create trust issues and possible retaliation from your spouse because of the hurt they may feel.

Once you lose the love, connection, and trust with a significant other, why would you still be with them?

A marriage is built on these three things, and once you lose them, the only thing you now have is lost communication between the two of you and a possible new enemy based on things that may have been said in a heated argument.

So let's learn to avoid these marriage killers and implement the things we need to implement for a better and conducive homes.

You can add yours. grin

1.Lack of finance: There is definitely no romance without finance.
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by mrcasanova1(m): 11:09am On Aug 17, 2015
askYomi:
grin




u call itself 'Mr Casanova'.....and u r giving me marriage tips?




u call itself 'Mr Casanova'.....and u r giving me marriage tips?

issorai
It happens bro... wink
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by mrcasanova1(m): 11:11am On Aug 17, 2015
LaudGuy:
Ain't you forgetting something? Lack of finances is the true source of disrespect in naija marriages. #fact. Money is not everything, but your average naija girl can never disrespect you if you caked out. Even in the midst of severe physical or emotional abuse.




Booty bounce party mix download link
http://www.datafilehost.com/d/f2d8bd1e
There are many causes of failed marriages; I earlier on stated that in my op.

My list is not exhaustive.
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by InyinyaAgbaOku(m): 11:13am On Aug 17, 2015
mrcasanova1:
In most cases, committing adultery doesn't come into the picture until a number of the listed things have happened.

Then the Love, Emotional connection and Trust is lost... And then the spouse(s) begin to look ''outside''.
Its not true.
Adultery breeds the three instead
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by shumuel(m): 11:14am On Aug 17, 2015
Hmm... Lord help marriages, point No 1 is the most important, am happy it was placed first.

#WeAreAllJustSelfish
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by greenhope(m): 11:55am On Aug 17, 2015
brokolosis
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by coachwilcox(m): 12:12pm On Aug 17, 2015
The reason why many marriages are failing is the rise of feminism plus the abandonement of biblical and traditional values.
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by Amopeekun(f): 1:10pm On Aug 17, 2015
Good points, OP.
In addition, most people take things tooooo serious. Guys originally having a fun, informal relationship, suddenly become formal and all business-like. I think we should try and enjoy ourselves more, irrespective of our environment and those factors that can make things difficult. Lastly, we should be READY before we say 'I do'. It is a different school from what we know and knew.
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by matingo(f): 1:23pm On Aug 17, 2015
MegMich:
All these thread on marriage sef! Over-flogged! Did any of the partners change so quickly? You saw all these during courtship and still went ahead with the marriage for whatever reason.

Be wise!
You were happy b4 marriage don't ever throw that away because everybody is getting married.

You never get to know your spouse 100% until when you start living together.
Sleeping & waking up together everyday, then you'll discover your flaws and weaknesses
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by professore(m): 2:33pm On Aug 17, 2015
I love it all,except the part that states anger can sometimes bring solution or something,anger is never good in my own opinion
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by free37: 3:50pm On Aug 17, 2015
Marriage topics......hmmm.
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by mrcasanova1(m): 5:07pm On Aug 17, 2015
professore:
I love it all,except the part that states anger can sometimes bring solution or something,anger is never good in my own opinion
Yeah.... It's a valid opinion too. But most peeps will get what I mean by my statement.
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by cusehcuseh(m): 8:04pm On Aug 17, 2015
1 huge avoidable cause of marriage crash is possessiveness.
Mostly on the part of the female forks, they always want 2 dominate & possess d control of d man.
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by Opinedecandid(m): 9:59pm On Aug 17, 2015
lilykach02:


What does FSLC mean

First School Leaving Certificate.
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by whosayswot100(m): 7:05am On Aug 18, 2015
jingh:
pls add Money.
statistically speaking Money is the most causes of marriage soucantas
Dis ought 2 b no1
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by adinoyiM(m): 11:29am On Jul 27, 2016
john4reala:
meanwhile

Why would you make a joke with such an issue?

How would you feel if you were a parent to one of these girls and you saw this?
Re: Revealed: 10 Avoidable Reasons Why MOST Marriages Fail... by Kirinwa: 7:11pm On Jul 27, 2016
Op theres no how you can talk of 10 things that cause divorce without mentioning finanancial difficulties.

That should be number 1.
When a guy that is barely stable marries an undergraduate or a girl not employed and lacks any skill whatsoever. Its a bomb waiting to EXPLODE!

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