I woke up yesterday with a buzz on my phone, message from 08124630175... Congratulations, you have won #750,000 in the Loyal Milk Bonaza(their spelling) Your ticket number is (00190) Call Mr Henry for claims on 07060612548.
Haven lost my job a few days to my wedding in August, I had plenty of time to play with so I dialed Mr Henry's number right away ...

Me...Hello, good morning

Henry (grumpily)...Yes, how may I help you?

Me...I was asked to call this number for my winnings.

Henry (Heavy Ishan accent, I might be wrong)...Talk to me well, what's wrong with you? Have you ever received #750,000 in your life before?

Me...Why are you shouting na, am I not audible enough?

Henry...What is your ticket number?

Me...00190

Henry...Ok, call me back in 5 minutes lemme check the computer.

In the meantime, I went to shower, getting ready for an earlier appointment with a political bigwig and gubernatorial aspirant.
Twenty six minutes later, I call Mr Henry's line again.

Me...Hello, you asked me to call back.

Henry...Ehen, do you have an account number? Which bank? Do you receive alerts when money is paid into your account? Have you received that amount of money in the account before?

Me...Yes, GTB, no I don't get alerts and yes, I have received much more than that before (chuckle)

Henry... Ok, do you have your scratch card? The one they sell 1500, you need two of it, daz 3000.

Me (feigning confusion)...Which card? Waec or Jamb scratch card?

Henry... (screaming) Other people are waiting to collect their money and you're here wasting my time, I mean Mtn recharge card, 1500 or 750!!! Make sure it's up to #3000 and I'll give u 15 minutes!!!

Me... Oh ok, let me go and buy them...Lol!

I started wearing my makeup and shortly thereafter, say twenty minutes, my phone started buzzing with calls. I was in no hurry to pick it cos I was running late for my appointment so I let it ring hoping to return whatever calls I had missed.
Makeup session over, I picked up my phone and before I could check my log for the missed calls, it started ringing again(08160587060 calling)

Me...Hello good morning!

Accented voice...Have you bought the card now?

Reality sets in...He actually called back for the airtime!!! I composed myself, hurriedly pick up a pen and my jotter to scribble imaginary numbers for Mr Desperado.

Me... Yes, I have them, I bought two of the #1500

Henry...Ok, call the first one

Me...Reels off fake 12 digit pin to him

Henry...Can't u see that it's not 12 digits? My friend, call the number again!

Me (determined to waste his time and credit, calls out the fake numbers slowly)

Henry (repeats the numbers for verification)...How much did u say it is?

Me (suppressing laughter now)...1500

Henry (Drops call)

I was laughing so hard I almost choked.

Fast forward to 10:45am...I, in company of my friends (Two channels TV journalists and one other man) arrive the house of a former Minister of State for (withheld by me) After waiting for about 25minutes, we were ushered in by his housekeeper.
He met us half way in and did something shocking and outrightly hilarious. He asked us to come into the sitting room with a plastic chair each!!! I thought "Oh, he has many visitors and the sitting room is full hence no more vacant seats"
Before I could pick my own chair, he turned abruptly and exempted me from the exercise, probably because I was the only female in the entourage... Lol!
My friends each picked a plastic chair from the housekeeper and went inside the massive, tastefully furnished living room. Our host asked them to drop the chairs and sit on them. He then asked me to sit on the sofa, I was a bit confused, what is his motive? Mind you, the room had only four occupants, our host inclusive, so there was ample room for even twenty more people...I recoiled in disgust over the man's obvious contemptuous act!
We introduced ourselves and our host expressed surprise that I wasn't a princess (My friend had earlier submitted a letter to him for his international program and a princess is one of his co-hosts) He said he thought I was the Princess that cosigned the letter he received and that was why he allowed me to sit on his chair...I was mortified!
As fate would have it, he forgot the name of the journalists, asked for a reminder and then I saw his eyes lit wit surprise! He suddenly became nicer and made an obviously poor attempt at damage control, eulogising Channels TV and showering encomiums on the station's style of reportage,bla bla bla...by then my interest had waned and I was just looking forward to leaving!
Well, we had a good laugh in the car and to kill my boredom, I proceeded on a debt recovery mission. Last last, I came home happy cos I recovered a part of my bad debt, earlier written off.

I am sorry for the long epistle, it is unlike me...

good one

Lols nice piece. I like the plastic chair and princess part.

hmmmmmmm I guess its CHRIS OGIEMWONYI that had that arrogant attitude towards u guys.

Kelklein:
every story (even toy stories) should have a little lesson attached to it...

ok..we've seen the moral of the first story : how to outsmart a fraudster, but what about your second(visit to the politician) and third (debt recovery) stories..what do we make of them?

I'm like having a wtf moment right now

My darling, you didn't comment at gunpoint and nowhere in my post did I mention that I was a teacher that gives moral lessons.
I just shared my experience and didn't ask what you learnt from it, so please pack your baggage elsewhere make I see front...

@ Malcomx12, you're OYO!!!

funny piece, got me laughing. especially the episode of you n henry. you try sha.

ril19:
funny piece, got me laughing. especially the episode of you n henry. you try sha.

Don't mind those jobless fellas, whoever falls for that scam must be highly greedy.