crackhaus:

Well I don't know about you in particular, but that line in bold just doesn't fly...not even in the least bit.

I've been in situations where I'm with a lady who's supposedly dating someone else, and in that moment when we're about to get down or already done getting down, she receives a call from her supposed partner...and then she goes on to act (very expertly, if I may add) like she didn't just cheat on him or about to.hi

Not something I'm particularly proud of, but it is what it is...
That line in bold just doesn't fly in this ice-cold world.


Speculation again!
For all we know, that post UME cover-story was just that...a perfectly timed cover-story.

However, for sake of agreement, let's assume you're right and that's the case... Has seeing a 16/17yrs old brother to her friend as a younger brother stopped some girls before?


She didn't just goof a bit, she goofed monumentally...

If it looks and feels like a lie, it most probably is...and the liar had better be doing everything possible to make it not look and feel like a lie e.g. picking up the darn phone...


Fair enough.

davide470:
Scantee, Nice to know you have resolved the issue.

Abeg pm me the date for the WW?

scantee:
(LONG STORY PLS READ THROUGH)

Hello house,

Please i need mature advice from you guys..most of you guys that follows my oil workers thread on nairaland can recall when i mentioned that i will be getting married by next year that everybody should be geting ready to attend my TM/WW, well thus goes my story.

Calling it off is a sure way to go or else you are doomed.

After i ended my previous distance relationship which lasted for years before we mutually ended it base on family diffrences. I met this my new date when i came to Lagos in 2011 for a project, we exchanged contacts after which i traveled to Netherland for a training i did not called her for over a year plus because then i was still with my previous date, when i returned from my trip early Jan 2013, i called her so we got talking, along the line i traveled to her school to see her in (S Eastern Uni)

"FASTFORWARD" i told her my intention of getting marry to her then, so i brought her to lagos to meet my parents and other family members, after all said and done she pleaded that i gave her time to finish her studies before any marriage proper, we all agreed early 2016 since she is in early 20 and i was in mid 20 then we are not in a rush.

We have been together since 2013 to date, we have shared a good time and fund memories, i truely love her and she does too, i have tried my best to make her comfortable and take care of her and make her envy of all her female friends, i have NEVER cheated on her or have the thought of doing so despite we only see during end of every semester, and i traveled a lot and always busy with work though i make sure i do speak with her at least 3x a day with minimum of 30mins per a call just to make sure she don't feel lonely.

NOW HER CRIME AND MY SUSPICIONS

Last month i called her early morning to know whatsup with her i noticed she was not comfortable speaking to me on phone i was like are you ok? I then heard a background male voice she hurriedly ended the call, when i called back i insisted she told me whose voice i heard in her house, that was when she opened up to me that the guy is her old time gf brother who came from one state in the South South to write post ume in her school i was mad @ her, after a while i insited to know her package with the guy, to my suprise the guy is to stay in her room for 2weeks plus, they share the same bed, jst living like a husband and wife though she still assured me to trust her that noting would happen between them, i was angry because she never inform me of such arrangement before saying yes to them.

I SWEAR THOSE PERIOD I COULD NOT SLEEP, EVERY NIGHT I WILL BE JUST IMAGINING THINGS. that happend and gone we continue normal life, yesterday we agreed that she will be coming to lagos on saturday since she is done with her exam because we have not seen for 5 months now, she told me she needed some cash to pay up somethings and settle some debts before coming

FASTFORWARD. This night i called her to know her latest plans and verify the account she want me to transfer money to her, while we were talking i noticed she is using terms on me instead of real names, she was talking like someone that is hiding for somebody not to figure out her discussion, so i asked her are you with somebody there she said no she was alone, a min later i started hearing a phone booting sound @ background for several times, i asked her again she deinied it.

As an IT guy i am, i figured out that the sound is MS Windows phone that uses such sound, & i know she does not have such phone, i threatened her, she then opened up that she with her lodge mate a guy @ that hour, i got upset why she lied to me, she started faking the call as if network is disturbing her claiming that she can't hear me well, telling me to end the call and call her tomorrow so we can talk well, i told her no to stop faking network, she ended the call, i called her back 22 times she did not pick my calls, i sent her diffrent text messages she did not reply, i told her i will never call her again if she did not pick after my calling her 2wise again yet she damm the call.

After an hour she text me thus: PLS AM SORRY WE WILL TALK 2MORO I DON'T MEAN TO GOT U UPSET, DO YOU THINK IF I AM WITH A MAN I WIL PICK UR CALL IN D FIRST PLC? GUD NIT SWT DREMS. She is now claiming is a prank but hell no i don't believe her. House how do i handle this now? I really love her but i can't stand a cheat because i have NEVER cheated to any of my date before.

I want to call of the marriage, i have lost the trust i have for her. I need your mature advice. Thanks all.

davide470:
Scantee, Nice to know you have resolved the issue.

Abeg pm me the date for the WW?

Dentale:
Late to the party.

@OP, I'm going to go out on a limb here and say watch your back. So many red flags in the story and explanations. Be careful. Some scenarios were just too weird to be innocent. I don't believe the explanations at all but that's just my 2 kobo opinion. You appeared to be so afraid of a breakup that you were willing to lean towards anything that will preserve this relationship even though it may not be worth preserving. All I can say at this point is that I truly wish u the best as you're a trusting fellow. I hope you won't come back with Part 2 of this story before or after the wedding.
Cheers

jabojafa:
op its ur life, and u r d one dt wud live with ur choice for d rest of ur life. U dnt owe any1 any apology if u call off d relatnshp. U r d one wearing d shoes so u shd knw were it pinches most. Even if u hv introduce her to ur all community, kingdred, village elders family member and d whole world, as long as u hvnt married her yet, u are vry free to walk away. After all its ur life and ur happiness shd matter 1st and mostly. I can hook u up with correct wify materials dt wudnt cheat on u if u like sef.

prettyjo:
thank God you made the right decision @scantee cos when I started reading people's comments, couldn't help but shake my head.

don't know why guys were so quick to lure you end the relationship. you guys have so much hatred for the women folk which is very bad.if it were to be a female that posted this,you all would advise her to endure that its in a man's DNA to cheat.

such hypocrisy!!!!


@,op ,am still glad you made the best decision

macaranta:
After reading every word of the epistle...your scenario further confirms my fears that dating a student when you're not in the same school is not worth it.Countless times they will always have a school boyfriend,you play the maga role.This is a vicious cycle bro.Move on or tolerate it...those art thy options.

dBard:



Thank u jare...
Some ppl act like they're living in an alternate universe just t sound 'politically correct'.

Btw, am forwarding ur no to Saraki...the way u dismantled d dudes points, he needs ppl like u.

scantee:
i rebuke any spirit that spoke that through you, my marriage can never be a sad one, rather a blessing to my whole generation. In as much as i appreciate ur care and concern, i think is uncalled for you predicting doom to my mirriage, besides i don't believe they are acting any script because they have nothing to gain doing that, if you think maybe because of money, my dear her family is far richer than mine, and the gal is very pretty and young, not like she is very desperate for marriage. Thanx anyway.

Tinynita:
in d first scenario, wat stops her gfs brother from staying wit his sister while he came to write post-utme?...OK let's say d sister is in another school & he needed a place to stay 4 post-utme, fine Nd good..u can accommodate a brother to ur gf BT don't be offended oh...who stays 4 2wks just to write post-utme wen u ain't wit ur sibling or a relation? d gal has been soaking coated garri on ur head all in d name of lies.....
in d 2nd case, I put it to u that d 2nd guy is her school bf Nd she spends ur money on him...she is guilty as charged....if she had nothing wit that guy, she would have picked ur cal after ending it...ur bae is screwing some other guy nd u r her ATM machine....her friends definitely can't bad mouth her xo they would tell u good things abt her Nd laugh behind u....if married women can screw guys while in school, wat makes u think a single gal can't do same?....she is just using emotional blackmail Nd that is y she would faint at d slightest talk of breakup.....try get evidence

Tinynita:
in d first scenario, wat stops her gfs brother from staying wit his sister while he came to write post-utme?...OK let's say d sister is in another school & he needed a place to stay 4 post-utme, fine Nd good..u can accommodate a brother to ur gf BT don't be offended oh...who stays 4 2wks just to write post-utme wen u ain't wit ur sibling or a relation? d gal has been soaking coated garri on ur head all in d name of lies.....
in d 2nd case, I put it to u that d 2nd guy is her school bf Nd she spends ur money on him...she is guilty as charged....if she had nothing wit that guy, she would have picked ur cal after ending it...ur bae is screwing some other guy nd u r her ATM machine....her friends definitely can't bad mouth her xo they would tell u good things abt her Nd laugh behind u....if married women can screw guys while in school, wat makes u think a single gal can't do same?....she is just using emotional blackmail Nd that is y she would faint at d slightest talk of breakup.....try get evidence

scantee:
i don't know why some of you are getting it difficult to understands my post, let me explain better to you, the first scenario, her gf, the guys sister has graduated from the school, secondary, the guy spent two weeks because he has two post ume exams to take from different uni but in the same state and planned to leave to PH from there after the exam he will not be going back to his state. About the second scenario, she was never with any body, i have every evidence now to believe what happend that day, talking about spending my money is obvious u dnt knw her b4 concluding, she came from a rich family and she lacks nothing, the only money she wanted me to assist her with was for her flight ticket and some cloths she needed to pick up since my invitation for her to come to Lagos came as emergency, with or without my money she is ok. I appreciate ur own side of observation, but @times u jst have to give people benefit of doubt especially when u think u know the person better. Thanks

Tinynita:
my bad....read d 1st page Nd wrote what I wrote....anyway sorry 4d mixup

scantee:
lol oya go back and read all pages now...thanx 4 hop-in to hlp o. BTW: 80% Ladies here believe and concludes she is cheating far more than 40% guys here, hmm there must be something we guys don't know about gals, well my eye will be extra odinary wide now. Gals are no more loyal of late

Tinynita:
I've actually read every now...guess it's bcoz we gals c wat u guys don't c

scantee:
hmm una don add extra fear for my body o, choi choi, but is there no faithful gal anymore in the school?

Tinynita:
.

Tinynita:
I've actually read every now...guess it's bcoz we gals c wat u guys don't c

Kimoni:


you want to kill the OP finally baa?


@crackhaus et al. - you guys should free the OP naa, na by force to divorce ni

scantee:
Cc: @ihatenaija