Prologue
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As I made my way to my Uncle's car, the realization suddenly dawned on me. This was not a joke, it was pure reality... I was going to live outside my family for the first time in my five thousand, one hundred and ten days on Earth *365 times 14...olodo*. My eldest sister, Stephanie had gone to put my bags and luggages inside the booth of my Uncle's car upon his arrival early in the morning. She made sure everything I was to travel with was put in place and packaged for me*chai sweet sis*. Surely everyone was gloomy, no one dared smile- I was going away to another life completely and only God knows when I would return. I hugged each of my siblings one more time and on getting to Stephanie, she looked at me as she managed to smile and said "you better not be mischievous there because I know what you can do", "yes big sis", I replied mockingly with a salute. "Just take care of yourself", she finally said as she hugged me. I left her and went to my mum who opened her arms and hugged me as if I was a baby. Anyway, I wished the hug would last forever as none of us was willing to let go. "I will miss you mama" I painfully told her. "I will miss you too Obim" *Igbo language for my heart* she replied amidst tears. She then looked at me in the eyes and told me to be a good boy and not cause trouble before hugging me again. I had heard that a million times since the day I was told that I would travel so it just entered one ear and came out from the other ear immediately. My uncle had to practically separate us asking us if we wanted to break the record of longest hug by a mother and son thereby causing all of us to burst into laughter except my little sister, Susan who had wandered off chasing a butterfly she saw. She seemed less concerned with my departure as a little girl that she was and by the way, she just started walking. My immediate elder sister, Sofia on noticing that Susan was no longer there with us had to chase her and carry her back and by that time I was already seated in the car. I bade them goodbye promising to contact them once I reached Port Harcourt. As my uncle drove out of the compound, my family followed behind and they didnt stop waving me goodbye till the car was out of their sight. Certainly I will miss my family but I was going on what I tagged as an adventure and I promised myself that I must enjoy my stay away from home so stay tuned, grab a packet of popcorn and zobo as I narrate my adventure away from home.[color=#000000][/color]

just landed with my bicycle,had to remove my keys before getting the popcorn OP fire on abeg this place don day cold

Episode 1
Before I tell you about my adventures, let me tell you about myself, my family and why I had to leave home.My name is Samuel, my mum calls me Obim, but you can call me Samo. I come from a certain village in Abia State... In case you are wondering where Abia State is, it is in Nigeria... In case you are wondering where Nigeria is, it is in Africa... In case you are wondering where Africa is, it is in Earth... In case you are wondering where Earth is, it is in... *sorry that thing I drank yesterday is still affecting me small**laughing*. Anyway, just google about a village in Abia State where majority of the leaders of the state are from, that's where I come from. In my village we are very united. There is this kind of bond between everybody. My village is not that villagish in nature *is there any word like villagish sef* My village is a combination of city and village life with both at equal proportions, so don't be surprised to be walking on a track road browsing with a free nearby wifi network only to see a deer with its baby running across the road to the nearest bush. Coming down to my family, we were 7 in total- Dad, Mum, 4 siblings and my humble self. I had three elder sisters and one junior sister but I was the third born*figure it out*. Let me help you out-My eldest sister is Stephanie, the second born are unidentical twins named Sonia and Sofia, my humble self Samuel or rather Samo*I will tell you how I got the nickname* then my last sister, Susan. All my sisters are very beautiful*don't be jealous, its not my fault*. I can even give you their phone numbers but nobody will tell you to run away when they invite you to the house and mum sits you down and give you a 3-hour lecture on the need to be focused in life and not be a boyfriend. T.B.C

Episode 2
As a family, we were comfortable and contented with what we had. I won't classify our standard of living then as high but at least dad could afford us a comfortable life with mum supporting with her petty shop and we had almost everything we wanted.My parents made sure we were brought up in good Christian morals without compromise and they also swore to train us till any level of education possible despite
the fact that both of them stopped at secondary school level.
According to mum, when she had my three elder sisters, she was treated like an outcast by my father's people because she could not give birth to a son*she did not catch the right balls in the matches with dad**laughing*. So, when I came*the main meaning of came o* it was like I had opened the door of blessings for her, so she called me Obim meaning my heart. So I was treated like a king, no one dare touch me. I remember when I stole my sister, Stephanie's meat and made her run round the house because of the meat. My mum told her to leave the meat
for me which she reluctantly did. The next day, my mum shaved my hair; skin cut because it had been long I barbed it and the only barber that was in our village then had travelled out of the village. I never knew that my sister was targeting my head as a payment for her meat. The two slaps I received later in the day on my head made my soul run out
of my body and later come back after 3 seconds like in tom and jerry. I saw three stars turning around in front of me and I think I heard jingle bells too. The slap was loud enough to make my mum rum to us as if she was being pursued. She descended on Stephanie asking her if she wanted to kill her only son. Anyway, even though we later settled as siblings do, I have always been mindful of Stephanie except for occasional mischievousness even though I knew mum will always be on my
side if anything happens. Furthermore, if you notice, all our names starts with the letter S. Although we had Igbo names, my Parents decided to give us English names starting with S because
coincidentally, their names started with S: Solomon and Sarah. Also
they didnt want us to be limited to the village hence the English
names, so instead of the popular Igbo names which was been used in the village, my parents decided to be calling us by our English names except Obim which my mum prefers to call me. Everything went on well with the family for years until one day... T.B.C

Episode 3
I was playing football in the village field with my friends...the usual "monkey post".I was showing my skills and talents with the ball as my friends were hailing and shouting my nickname Samo! Samo!... Now this is how I got my nickname: I had come back from one of my playing sessions one afternoon and I was very hungry. I went to the kitchen and saw my mum pouring something whitish out of a packet into the pot on the stove. I approached her and asked her what it was and she said it was semovita. She explained to me that her brother who just came back to the village from where he lives outside the village had brought it for her while I was away playing. I suddenly became excited as I had not eating semovita before because the usual used to be either garri, loi-loi or pounded yam. I even got more excited on seeing stacks of the semovita near the cupboard. I started jumping round the compound shouting "I will eat SAMOVITA today, I will eat SAMOVITA today". Now my mum had said SEMOVITA but I heard SAMOVITA. I temporarily forgot my hunger and dashed to my best friend, Eze's house and started telling him about the "samovita" I had not even eaten yet. Trust village children now, he followed me to my house to see this "samovita" that was making me so elated. Anyway, he saw it and ended up reducing my own share by half thanks to my mum's sweet egusi soup. Although my mum tried in vain to correct me saying its name was semovita and not samovita, I couldn't change the samovita that kept coming out of my mouth anytime I wanted to say semovita. Well from that day, my nickname became Samovita and my siblings only helped to shorten it to Samo since it somehow matched my name, Samuel. What I don't know till today is how almost all the village came to know about the name. However, I don't mind if I am called Samo as far as you will add some phonee o. Back to the main story, as I was showing my skills with the ball and my friends hailing me, I scored a controversial goal. The keeper of the other team had held the ball but spilled it when a shot was directed at him. I immediately pounced on the ball and shot it into an empty net. As I and my team screamed and shouted for joy because of the goal, the other team refused to acknowledge it as a goal. This generated arguments as each group was trying to out speak the other. I quietly withdrew as I saw the owner of the ball who was in the other team pick up his ball. I knew what that meant because section 101 of the monkey post constitution states that if the owner of the ball picks up the ball because the other team don't agree with him, then the match is over. As I was seated where I was waiting for whatever will be the outcome of the argument, I suddenly saw my sister Sonia crying and running like a mad girl towards me. T.B.C

oh you had me cracking my ribs with laughter.God Bless the hands that typed each word...
more data to your modem/phone

Episode 4
"Samuel, Samuel", she shouted as she was running towards me.I started walking fast towards her direction because with the way she was running, I knew something was definitely amiss. When I caught up with her she was out of breath, she couldn't speak up at first as I tried finding out what was wrong. By this time, the argument in the field had automatically stopped as everyone started coming to our direction to see what was going on. Sonia started crying as she finally managed to catch her breathe. "Papa is dying, papa is dying", she hysterically said. On hearing that mehn, i entered flash mode. I ran all the way to the house, something that on a normal day would have been impossible to do but surprisingly, I didnt feel an iota of weakness as I ran to the house, infact, I didnt even bother to know if sonia was still following me or not. On getting to the entrance of the compound, I noticed that the compound was full and everybody was looking sad. Some people were talking in groups with low voices while some others just stared into space with sad faces. My instincts immediately told me that whatever had happened to Papa was very serious. I ignored them and went straight to the house only to see my mother rolling on the floor and crying loudly as some women tried to console her. I quickly scanned the area for my other sisters and found them sobbing, even my little sister Susan had a sad face. I quickly entered the room only to see my father covered up on the bed. Hmmm, no one can describe how I felt as I quickly broke down in tears and the last thing I remember was that I screamed before passing out. When I came around, I found myself surrounded by men and women who were trying desperately to revive me. Some were fanning me while some others were pouring water on me. It was days later that Sofia told me that one of the men wanted to do mouth to mouth respiration for me...thank God I woke up on time if not you may have not been reading this by now. Well the deed was already done...dad was dead and there was nothing we could do other than to cry for him. It was a hit and run on our scanty village road which was still getting used to cars as at that time, obviously the person that hit him was not from our village, so before dad got help he had already lost much blood and when he finally got help, instead of the good samaritan to take him to the local doctor, he brought him straight to our house with blood dropping on the way. Before one of the local doctors could come, dad had already died due to loss of blood. When I heard the details, I was really angry and sad too but there was nothing I could do. Dad's death was a big blow on us all as he was the bread winner of the house. Mum's shop could only afford us a little. Although we received money, gifts and other stuffs from people, it couldn't sustain us for long. So three months after the burial, dad's elder brother, Uncle Uche came and discussed with my mum for me to go with him to Port Harcourt where he lived with his family to relive the stress on her and to also afford me the opportunity to complete my education. My mum, after discussing it with us decided that I should go since I am a boy, she made up her mind to bring up the girls herself. So after much advise, cries and discussions, I finally left the village after telling my best friend, Eze and my other friends and they wished me well and bade me goodbye. Now the adventure begins... Note:I was 13 years when I left, Stephanie was 16 almost 17, Sonia and Sofia 15, while Susan was 1. TBC

#following#

following...

Episode 5
Throughout the journey to Port Harcourt, I was lost in thought. I was wondering how mum will cope with my sisters.Even at a very young age then, I knew that life was not going to be easy. I was also worried about how I would live my life outside them because I had never stayed
away from my family before for even one day. That was how my mind ran wide until we reached the entrance to Rivers State where they wrote welcome to Rivers State, it was then my uncle who had been silent like me eventually spoke up, "we have reached Rivers State", he announced
*as if I had not seen the sign post...abi they put it there for
fancy*, I just muttered an okay for him. As we drove on, he showed me some landmarks and my response was always brief. When we reached uncle Uche's compound, a girl came out and opened the gate after he
horned several times. As Uncle Uche drove in, I started firing,
casting and binding inside me because the girl I was seeing didnt look like someone that would welcome me as I sensed she must be my Uncle's daughter. Also, she carried this air of arrogance as she walked. After
locking the gate, she quickly came to hug my uncle and by this time, I was already out of the car and was getting my luggages from the
booth. My uncle called me over to where he stood with the girl and
introduced her to me his daughter, Ada, and he immediately went inside his house. I then extended my hand to shake her as my village teacher had taught us to greet people we meet newly but instead of shaking me, if you see the way she eyed me from head to toe eh, nobody told me to hide my hand, but then my brain quickly edited to adventure mode; ADVENTURE MODE ACTIVATED....rule 1...don't loose out when on an adventure... As she was eyeing me up, I immediately started eyeing her back*no be me go carry last*. We stayed there eyeing each other like too weaponless enemies that accidentally met each other. In my mind what was going on was that if she wanted to show me how city girls behave, then I will show her how adventurous village boys behave since she did not want to stop. She had to give up when her mother came out shouting "Ada where is the boy your father came back with". I wondered if my Uncle had not told her my name because with the way she said "the boy", I knew I had a long way ahead. I respectfully greeted her
on sighting her at the entrance to the house as I made to go inside
with my luggage. The next thing I heard almost made me loose balance, "Ada go and show him his room, let him go and drop those bags and come and wash this car. I had to clean my ear to be sure I heard well because I just came back and the first thing to do is to wash car which I had never done before, without even resting "Port Harcourt, here I come" was what came out of my mouth. TBC

Chai!!!

Now your suffering begins Keep it coming Samjed.

Awww! Samovita is on a very long thing

Sorry guys for the delay in posting...av got something stopping me from posting...by God's grace i will be able to post from Monday pleassssseee bear with me

Away from home- episode 6 http://jedng..com/2015/11/away-from-home-episode-6.html?spref=tw
Uncle Uche's family was a small one, just him, his wife and Ada, his daughter.When Uncle Uche wanted to marry his wife, she was not accepted in the family due to her character. Although she was beautiful, she lacked good manners and this made almost everyone in the family to dislike her. My dad for example, was very much against their marriage nevertheless, they still got married and could only give birth to Ada. For the fact that she was not in good terms with my dad, I guess she must have had a hard time trying to convince my uncle not to bring me to stay with them, so since she could not prevail over him, she decided to vent her anger for my dad on me. I was practically a slave boy under the disguise of staying with my uncle. Mrs Uche made me do works that even in the village I wouldn't have thought of doing. I was even washing her clothes most times. Ada their daughter who was a few months younger than me was not even helping matters. She was behaving way older than our age. Anytime she was not in school, in the house, in church or on an outing with her parents then she was in the neighbourhood flirting with boys. Most times, I used to wonder if she was allergic to females because most of the time she was with one guy or the other. She even had the guts to send me on errands most times*chai*. All these were done in my uncle's absence as he was always not around. He was always travelling for business and was in the house few times. One day, when no body was in the house, I decided to stroll. Normally, afternoons from Mondays to Fridays were free times for me because I normally try to finish all my work on time as my Uncle won't be around, his wife at work and Ada in school. So anytime I am able to finish the ever present work for the day and none of them comes back yet, I have the whole house to myself of which most times I would end up sleeping. So that day, I had finished all the work I had to do and I decided to stroll for the first time. I locked the house and was about leaving the compound when I spotted what looked like Mrs Uche's car approaching the compound. It wasn't yet time for her to return so I was surprised and had to turn to sonic because if she sees me outside the house she would kill me. I quickly dashed into the house, arranged myself and waited for her to horn for me to come and open the gate. I waited for like ten minutes yet no horn I then concluded that she was not the one whose car I had seen. I locked the door again, opened the gate to go outside...lo and behold, there she was, standing by her car, talking to a certain woman, a guy was seated at the front seat pressing his phone. At that moment, all three pair of eyes turned in my direction*chai ah yaf die today* TBC

Episode 7
"Where are you going Samuel?" Mrs Uche asked as she slowly approached me.I automatically turned to a stammerer, I am going to... no I
went... i wanted...*tawararara* the slap really entered...sorry it touched, infact it felt. I instantly regretted the moment the thought of strolling came into my head. The guy in the car quickly came down and held her from giving me the second dose of the slap and I thought I didnt hear well when he said to her quietly, "baby, its okay now, do you want to kill him? Remember, he is still a small o. Instantly, half of the 'inspiration' i received disappeared on hearing that...sorry, only a quarter disappeared because the 'inspiration' was a strong
one...*baby ke, which time did Mrs Uche turn to baby*. "Common will you go and open the gate before I give you another slap", Mrs Uche shouted, her loud voice dragging me back from my brief thinking. The other woman by this time had gone as there was nothing she could contribute for or against the motion. I quickly went back into the compound and made to open the big gate for her to drive in when I remembered that the main house was locked. I quickly dashed to the house, unlocked it and came back to open the gate of which she drove in with the guy. Immediately she came out of the car, she called me to her side and roughly held my ear while asking me where I was going. I truthfully told her that I wanted to stroll for a while. One thing I learnt from my parents was to tell the truth at all times and I was not going to lower that standard because of anyone talk more of Mrs Uche. After replying her, she sternly warned me not to leave the house again except for a good reason *strolling no be good reason Shuooo*. I replied her in the affirmative before the three of us entered the house. As we entered the house, Mrs Uche who had been fuming since suddenly started smiling and giggling as the guy held her by the waist. I felt he was a close visitor or friend and so shouldn't disturb them. As I made my way to my room, I heard the guy calling me, "hey young man, come"*for where... my name no be young man*. I continued going, pretending like I didnt hear him. "Samuel, didn't you hear your name?" Mrs Uche shouted *na wa o, which day did my name turn to young man*. I instantly turned to meet them as I told them I didnt hear my name*abi did I hear my name*. Mrs Uche made to say something but the guy held her and continued, "I want to send you on an errand but before that let your aunty introduce me to you. Mrs Uche started, "this is my cousin Mr John, he came to visit me for some hours. I don't want you to tell your uncle or Ada that he came because
I want to surprise them. Meanwhile, take the money from him and go to the end of the street, take left, follow the short cut on the right, take another right turn after 3 houses, you will see a shop at the end of that street, tell the woman to give you maggi, one packet, then you can stroll from there to wherever you want, but don't stay more than three hours*hmm, maggi for 3 hours...which kind of food do they want to cook* something must be up... TBC

Episode 8
I collected the money and went out.*N1000 just for one packet of maggi* As I was going out I noticed that they were almost tearing at themselves. Immediately, adventure mode kicked in...Adventure mode... Rule 2...be always careful, search for details, there may be some secret lurking around. I smelt a rat in what had been going on all this while, a part of me didnt want to believe that Mr John was her cousin... I had to find out...and fast. As I closed the door, I waited behind with my ears to the door incase I could hear anything. I heard footsteps coming towards the door, so I quickly started walking away fast to the gate because I sensed that one of them was coming to check if I had gone. As I reached the gate, I saw Mr John's head as he opened the door, looked at my direction briefly and then went back inside. I smiled knowing that something must be underway in the house and I had to confirm if what I was thinking was true. I opened the gate and went out of the compound but left the gate slightly open, open enough to contain my body without opening it any further. I waited a little while outside the gate then......time to execute my plan. I passed through the slightly opened gate, tiptoed quietly to the door and waited. Then....I opened the door and barged into the house with a confused innocent look I had plastered on my face. Mehn, see arrangement and re-arrangement. Mrs Uche who had been sitting on Mr John's laps, on seeing me, entered confusion mode together with Mr John. She went to the opposite sofa, came back to the sofa she was sitting on, re-arranged her clothes, put sofa pillow on her leg...*see confusion*. Mr John was not left out, he started sweating profusely and also started forming serious talk with Mrs Uche.*I laff die inside me as I tried very hard not to laugh out*. After forming seriousness for a while, Mrs Uche looked at me and asked me with a stern voice, "what are you doing here? Have you bought the maggi?" I answered her calmly though still trying hard not to laugh out, "No, it's just that I have forgotten the direction you said, please say it again. "So you want to tell me that you did not hear all what I was saying? Eh, you this boy...bla bla bla", Mrs Uche barked angrily. I just waited patiently for her to finish at least it would waste the time she would have used in doing whatever she wanted to do with Mr John. After ranting, she had no choice but to say the direction again. To be honest, I did not get one bit of the direction because my mind was to find a nearby shop and buy the maggi. After she finished, I just murmured an okay and started going out. As I reached the door, I turned back and with a mischievous grin on my face, I asked her, "ehe aunty, what did you say is the name of the woman again?". This time I didnt wait for a reply as I had to quickly use my leggedis benz on seeing her search for something to stone me with. When I left the compound, I laughed all the laugh that I was holding until people started looking at me somehow. At a point I was thinking if a nut was loosed in my head because of the way I was laughing. At least Mrs Uche won't forget what happened in a hurry. Enjoyment as I stroll was next on my mind. TBC