All poems for the first round and the second round of the competition are to be submitted on this thread. All other comments are not allowed and will be deleted. Remember to submit your poems with a brief and concise analysis.

Please add your number and your names to the start of your submissions.

Eg: Contestants 99: Banky W & 2pac

And, please specify the lines each wrote at the start or end.

Eg:

Stanzas 1, 3, 5: 2pac
Stanzas 2, 4, 6: BankyW

Or

Lines 1 - 15: 2pac
Lines: 16 - 30: Banky W

All comments should go here:

www.nairaland.com/2708057/npc-collaboration-poetry-competition-season

Criteria:

i. Organization / Structure (20 marks)

ii. Poetic Devices: (20 marks)

iii. Grammatical Accuracy: (20 marks)

iv. Strength Of Mood / Emotional Intensity (20 marks)

v. Analysis (20 marks)

Obtainable Total: 100 marks

llaykorn:
All poems for the first round and the second round of the competition are to be submitted on this thread. All other comments are not allowed and will be deleted. Remember to submit your poems with a brief and concise analysis.

Can I take part? Laykon, it's Scrypt. Where is Standd?

CONTESTANTS NUMBER 49: SHIZZY7 & DRABEEY
All lines composed by drabeey AND shizzy7

shizzy7: stanzas 3,4 and 5
drabeey: stanzas 1,2,6,7,8,9,10 and 11
TITLE: REGRETS OF A LIFETIME


1st stanza

>Whence now shall i stand?

>Now by the living i'm banned

>The wheel of life untold

>Peace in pieces, i'm brood


2nd stanza

>lonely and shattered i came

>innocent but battered in sins of age

>Gnashing teeth without none


>blabbing words now in the sun


3rd stanza
>Happy would i to have one tick by hour

>expensive though, but can't buy this more hour

>Ready am i to hearken

>and listen to 'this' i always ignore

4th stanza

>In depression and no solace

>regrets is all i embrace

>sorrows all over my face

>and hotness within this fence

5th stanza

>I ask if i may
>let me die again
>let me rest in peace not this pieces
>oh, is this cup passing already?

6th stanza

>whence now shall i stand?

>A world by tide or this by sand?

>Tick,tick my time nearer

>my fire now drawing closer


7th stanza

>yes, law i devour than embraced

>killing,looting and gun i carresed

>merrying and chanting 'no life than this'

>now my body at no bliss


8th stanza

>i was told but never hold

>hell is real and never cold

>paradise expensive and never sold

>yet, less i choose and now doomed


9th stanza

>oh, my precious body now decomposing

>oh my soul, where at thy merrying?

>here quiet more than my sink thoughts

>now perished are my affluence


stanza 10

>vanity the life i lived

>remembring not any of the bereaved

>ye termites, why art thou no mercy and bulked?


stanza 11

>i ask if i may
>would be no extent where i lay?
>even be me thorned or crowned
>whence now shall i stand?
***
summary:
The poem adapts the lifestyle of a notoriour armed robber who was actually successful at what he does. He built himself all he wanted.
The poem also endeavour to justapose his lifetime and after death.
The poem solely makes us undestand why good things are worthy to be done in life, and also what awaits evildoers in the world aftermath.
Poetic devices like personification, simile,allusions and mostly rethorical questions were employed in this poem
All lines composed by drabeey and shizzy7
Edited by shizzy7 and drabeey.

Contestant no. 8:slidewaxie and Uncjay.
stanzas: 1-3 written by Slidewaxie
stanzas: 4-9 written by uncjay.
Arranged by Uncjay.
uncjay: 08101959467
Slidewaxie:07035593128


THIS, I AM

****
Like the Atlantic Ocean my shortcomings are seen
Like a raven lunatic I threaded always, the deviant path
Unkempt as to defining everything, my ways, to them are sins
Yet I was call not of evil but of good even with my deviant path

****
My actions though unguarded, was never meant to hurt
I was neither meant to be perfect, nor even created to be one
I crave for them to look through me, beyond my disgusting being
And see the things I perfected, even in imperfect being

****
I was neglected since I decided not to change my ways
My future left unprotected as they shift the pole I leaned
In their heart I was a disgrace and in time they hoped I fail
In my quest to be different I must walk the lonely way

****
They interpreted my actions with contempt,
Pointing me towards an unknown future
They persisted my cause toward a vague end, but No!
My mind was made, not the bad they see but the good I behold,

****
Down the years it has been glorious with bitter-sweet sacrifices,
Never will I assume the catalyst to see this rose gross in agony,
Rendering the karnel to shed its clothes
But never put it back on itself,

****
This, I call to prove that which is proven
Even then I crave their loving heart,
That they consider my passion, so it does not woven,
For I'm clothed by my choice certainly but not to hurt a heart,

****
Their perception though, rob me of being the desired lad,
The pillar of my decision was not of evil or cursed
But of blessings; even in my imperfection,
This, they take amiss,

****
Though not here to convince otherwise;
I tour the path of elusive one, in their sight
My stand was mistaken, all along
Yet my action vindicated my later

****
Above all!
My soul joyed of the love, the happiness, the joy,
The tranquility, the bond that defines my success,
For tedious the toiling took me alone
Yet the rejected stone became the corner stone
******************************************


Brief Analysis:


Notable is a conventional Nigeria society where parent, relatives or guardian(s) assume the responsibility of making preference for their ward when it comes career choice. This however, have often than not mislead the career of children where the practice remain formidable. Not until recently that few changes are noticed as a result of civilization but statistic still have it that more parent require satisfactory orientation to let go this acts. This is a poem that explore the traumatic experience of an adamant and reluctant but self determined child whose parent thought his choice of career is a disgrace to them, they try changing him but he would not just give in to their pressures, thus they left him to face the reality of life alone. He toiled, he saw the ups and downs, the ugly face of reality in pain and agony in his career but eventually he succeeded. A lesson and an indictment to those parent , relatives and guardian(s) who still believe they reserve the right to chose their children's endeavours career-wise.


To those who have passion toward a career or the other that seem abomination to his/her parent or guardian(s), hence they tend not to support your choice in life, don't just give up or shy away from your passion. Yes the journey maybe difficult, tedious, but certainly achievable, why then should you allow anybody's scorn discourage you from following your path. Look at the likes of *Denrele Edun* and *Charlie Boy*, I'm sure their respective choice of careers were not welcome by their parent/guardian(s), but they defile all odds and pushed on, whether you like them or not, today, they are successful individuals.

**** follow your dream even when people say you are mad, you will surely succeed.****

Orjohng paste our work here

Contestants 7:babyfaceafrica and barcaboi.
Stanzas 1-5 Written by barcaboi
Stanzas 6-11 Written by babyfaceafrica

Oh, what a Country

Woke up that faithful Day,
Knelt down by my bed to Pray,
Lord, make today memorable I Say.
Never realized what was at Stake. (barcaboi)
.......................................................................
Picked up one or two to Munch,
Television was on so I sat back to Watch,
The news came up and something Dropped;
My Jaw!!!
A tragedy had Struck. (barcaboi)
........................................................................
It felt like a Dream;
More like a nightmare it Seems,
It was hard to Believe,
Thinking about it now,
It felt like fait Accompli. (barcaboi)
........................................................................
269 Girl-child Abducted,
Militants Invaded,
Their quiet town they Raided,
Their lives; Bombarded. (barcaboi)
........................................................................
Calamity so National,
Atrocities by these unrepentant Militants,
Done to our mama Africa,
I looked up to the skies;
'Lord forgive a nation so Prodigal'. (barcaboi)
........................................................................
A nation full of Promise,
Blessed by Almighty Dei Himself,
Ravaged by insurgents and religious Sects,
Unfortunately led by a neophyte. (babyfaceafrica)
........................................................................
Children who are suppose to be leaders of Tomorrow,
Taken away without any Resistance,
Boys and girls not so Old ,
Stolen from their father's Fold. (babyfaceafrica)
........................................................................
A government was in Place;
A government was in the State,
Lives were at Stake,
But the government had no Shame. (babyfaceafrica)
........................................................................
Wailing rages in the Nation,
Tears rained heavily from God's Creation,
The leaders of the nation were Docile,
Leaving our children in the hands of these Creatures. (babyfaceafrica)
........................................................................
Security apparatus swung to Action,
Raising the hopes of the Helpless,
Who looked at their leaders for Succor,
Alas!,they were Disappointed. (babyfaceafrica)
........................................................................
Young girls with bright hope for the Future,
Were tortured daily by these Monsters,
Raped physically and emotionally;
Prematurely becoming Mothers. (babyfaceafrica)
........................................................................
Oh, what Misery. (barcaboi)
Oh, what a Country!!! (babyfaceafrica)
******************************************************************************************************
Brief Analysis
On the night of April 14, 2014, hundreds of schoolgirls at the Chibok boarding school in northeastern Nigeria awoke to the sound of gunfire. They saw men in camouflage approaching and thought soldiers were coming to save them from a terrorist attack, according to accounts reported. Instead, more than 269 of the schoolgirls found themselves in the clutches of the Islamist militant group;Boko Haram.

'Oh, what a country' is a Satire Poem. Satire points out what's is wrong with the society; It is a call of remembrance for the government and the citizens. Satire .(according to the dictionary) is the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the likes, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.

This poem is garnished with a distinctive style to portray the o exact occurrence on that gloomy day.Literary devices like pun,alliterations,consonance,metaphor,imagery,allegory,e.t.c.The poets use symbolism to portray emotional connotations. And in this case the story of Chibok girls comes to mind.

It's being more than a year and they are still away from home. It should be a big ache to our soul; a call to our sanity. It really felt like a nightmare when it happened but the reality is they are still missing and we want them back.

'Oh, what a country' takes us back to that period; that moment we never envisaged. That moment everyone was filled with empathy towards the family of the victims. #BringBackOurGirls is a movement that shook the whole world and at this moment; babyfaceafrica and barcaboi takes us back to that unforgettable moment in our history and we pray they come back; irrespective of what they've gone through.


Written and compiled by: babyfaceafrica and barcaboi.



cc.llaykorn,texanomaly

llaykorn I have submitted it

Contestants names: Contestants 11. Alexdidi 08135723266. Stanza's 2,4&5and Emyemyberry 07039891057. Stanza's 1&3


Ode To My Love ...

It started.
A fire without spark
Words without thoughts
Speechless. Speechless you left me
Picking up speed like an avalanche set on destruction
My heart racing. Quick, poignant beats
A cacophony of unrehearsed actions
Making me feel disjointed.
Kept together barely, by a need.
A need to be with you.

Words fail where thoughts permit
Pretty, just as the twilight
Darkness cannot hide your beauty awakening each day better than the last
Your smile.
A candle lit in the very depths of a trench. Illumination.
Your eyes leave me rudderless when I stare into them
Twin haze of surreal magnificence.

A curvaceous, energetic bundle of joviality
Lighting up my imagination
Kindling unfathomed recesses of knowledge
Making me wonder. Making me better
Having you around is magical
Filling my heart with warmth
Content with your presence
Defined by your touch.

I'll hold you like my life depended on it
Gaze at you hours on end even weariness wouldn't complain
Nature would stand in awe. In awe of my love
Clouds would kiss your very feet and taste your lips with warm springs of dew
Tender, soft to the core
I'm yours into the future and yore.

Your liveliness makes bolts of lightening seem dull
Your candour is sublime. Leaving me eager. Eager for more
Your humaneness transcends earthly boundaries
Worth your weight in rarest of golds
I wish you mine, forever, to have and to hold.

Analysis:
This poem was written against the backdrop of a love so enamoured with deep feelings. It's a tribute to those who have ever experienced a love that thrills and leaves you wanting more; ever so content being in the company of one so loving.

Contestants 34- trailblaiza and generaliy07

Generaliy0
Trailblaiza

'Salubata' is a yoruba word which means sandal. We can also take it to mean a very 'rugged' shoe that will stand the test of time, regardless of the 'challenges' it faces (You remember that type of Ali and Simbi's shoe huh?).

On the surface, the poem is simply an ode to 'Salubata', our object brother who was so loyal against all odds. So, 'Salubata' is that rugged shoe we wore to interviews. That one shoe we used in trolling companies for jobs unannounced . Its flat soles is a symbol of our hustle.

Looking at it on a more deeper level, 'Salubata' is also symbolic of those people who were there for us while we were still hustling.
We're pretty sure some of us have had people who were really there for us when we were still hustling and trying to make it to the top. Now that we are at the top, the poem purges our conscience and demands to know how we treated the 'Salubatas'. If you're yet to get to the top, how would you treat your 'Salubata's' when you get there?

'Salubata' was composed by trailblaiza and generaliy07 . generaliy07 wrote stanzas 1, 2, 6, 7 & 8 while trailblaza wrote stanzas 3, 4 & 5

*************************************************************************************************************************

SALUBATA- THE BEARER OF THE HUSTLER'S TALE

Flat as a razor blade
Bearer of our hustling tales
None else tells the story better
Than Salubata, our object brother.

Once shiny like the monk's forehead,
Neatly packed in couture's top shelf
Picked carefully to register our very presence
T'was you who gave us confidence.


If there will ever be any one who deserves the fame
Salubata, we definitely will hold high in praise
For walking us through life's smooths and bumps
And for being there to witness our many triumphs.

The suffering, the rushing, the hustling and the bustling
Through thick and thin,your love was unflinching
Gentle, Obedient, Kind and Understanding,
Salubata knows no weather, it is all enduring!

Were loyalty rewarding, we'd give you a plaque
For none else was there, through our hustling stage
While we sit at the edge of the bed, neck deep in hopelesness
Salubata looks up and reminds us of our yet-to-be attained greatness.

Twas you who witnessed our several rejects and flops
'we'll-get-to-yous' that signified the end of our quests for promising jobs
When we almost fell into fellow hustlers' trap
Dressed for top interviews, only to discover it was some MLM trash!

Painful how the son of man forgets
The hustle pays and you they reject
Where was Paul Smith when Akube trekked from interviews to tests?
Or Louis Vutton when Salubata accompanied us to compete with the best?

Friends got porsche rides and homes on the Island
Then throw Salubata to the bins like rotten bananas
Rather than shelf you as a medal much coveted
We cast you like a plague, so unwanted.

Contestants 3: Jigsawkillah & Imanuelle
Jigsawkillah: Line 1 to 17
Imanuelle: Line 18 to 32

The Quill Weeps



They say men don't cry, so I let my quill do the weeping

Headshots, breath stops, blood all over
Blaring sirens overshadowed my weak cries
Stray bullets, definitely from a thug or soldier
He fell on me, I held him and watched him die

A bad guy's soul can be redeemed if he turned good
A good guy's when he turns bad? Almost impossible
I hope to see you in heaven, if they have a hood
Safe journey, but take a knife, in case Satan turns an obstacle

Was young, but wasn't dumb, only a couple years now
Contemplated suicide, never even feared death
Afraid of my worst enemies, they seem to take my friends down
Kept my distance from objects that do reflect

I retreat to my room, pick my rhyme book, in which I laid bare my fears
My pen takes my grief, and sheds it when I script
Sometimes, my emotions becomes unconcealable, I burst into tears
Whoever says men don't cry, doesn't know grief


Chris, how I so miss you
It's been 5 years now but
I still doubt if your death is true

RIP George Palmer
Those cuts didn't kill you
I lost you to the drugs trauma

The best friend you can ever have
My Quill, my eyes
Puts my tears on notepads

Only you understands how I feel
You weep so I could focus
Puts my emotions on the real

Went through trying times
But with you in my pocket
I grab you, and feel fine

The Quill weeps, but we're too deaf to hear
Too blind too see
Because we're deaf by our thoughts, and blinded by tears




Analysis:
The Quill Weeps is a Freestyle Verse which illustrates the feeling of many poets going through sad times. Poets tends to feel better after writing down the thoughts bugging them.


Cc: llaykorn texanomaly

Contestants 2: emaculate99 & funlord

Funlord: 1-7; 14 & 15
Emaculate99: 8-13

***************************************************
THE ROGUE DEITY

(Funlord)

I am your personal infestation,
The voice you hear in your head,
Regard me as your mind's domination,
A reason for the tears on your bed
*****
I possess the eyes that watch,
The entity that inflicts fear,
I am the one you sense approach,
A ghost that stands clear
*****
I'm the one who eternally sings,
Medleys of dark and light,
I'm the one in possession of Icarus wings,
The bloomer in the winters night
*****
I'm the one who caresses life in one hand,
While squeezing death in the other,
I'm the funlord of nairaland,
A witness to life's summers as they wither
*****
I'm the one who resides subliminally,
A dark strider through your fate,
I'm the one who laughs at you diabolically,
The holder of the keys to the pearly gates
*****
I'm the one who bid you your final farewell,
After the 'card deck' of your destiny fell,
The ringer of the grim reapers bell,
Regardless of where you dwell
*****
I spin stories like a spider's web alluring and inviting,i
Woven out of history and half truths
Lies so transparent they seem tissue paper
thin,
A catalogue of deception, is what lies deep within
*****
(Emaculat99)

I am the one that sings
A song full of praises of my ammunitions,
Alluring you to the sounds of my praises,
Till you fall for my ammunitions
*****
I am the insect behind your necks,
That makes you wallow in your cubicle,
Without you having a chance to flex,
As I inflict you till you fall on a rickle
*****
I am the man who walks on fire,
And takes hot charcoal as food,
Couriering the message to the world with my fire,
That I am fully back without remorse to the battlefield
*****
I am the little giant tormentor of your life,
That seeks to bring you down,
And make you rife,
In my venom facedown
*****
Of what difference does it make to me?
If all of you smell the scent of blood,
And drink from the omi°,
Purified with your friends' blood
*****
What difference is it?
If the moon turns red,
And the star stops glowing out of its wit,
The paths of remorseless and bravery will I tread
*****
(funlord)

Man, woman or child you all tend to always dither, About dogma, the afterlife, finances, sex, science and wonder,
Fear not, through my revelations you will have no further need to ponder
*****
Opaque and obtuse, quaint even, they beg to understand,
hook, line, and sinker, they continually swallow the bunkum fed by fellow man,
Forgetting that shallow streams and mighty oceans, hold the tales of how it all began!!!

***************************************************
°Omi is a Yoruba word which means water

***************************************************
Analysis:
This is a poem about an unknown human being encountered with a mischief making spirit, who reveals the secrets about the afterlife as well as its own purpose to the stranger.

cc.llaykorn,texanomaly

Contestant 65 Weno & TheSCRYPT ©2015

A fault in our Land

(TheSCRYPT)

The Volcano belches ash on the Land,
Extinguishing life in bucket full,
Of the abounding Waters,
The strong plod for dear Life,
Strength attenuated by haemato waste.
The extant near extinct,
As the breath of diminutive biosphere creatures are snuffed out.
The distinguished lay extinct,
Man handled mangled to quietus.

(Weno)

Gboa!! Gboa!! Gbooooaaaa!!
The reverberation of cannonade,
The detonation of grenade,
Extinguishing buckets of the distinguished with abounding waters.
The wild blue yonder vociferates
Like the Lion, in unrestricted tears of crimson,
submerging buckets on Earth's surface.

(TheSCRYPT)

Stripped of might that night,
Not at all a Light in sight
For the moon snored,
Urchin Launches lurching,
As he gets wind of sobs,
From two unripe nobs, not far by.

(Weno)

He wheezed, he sneezed
As he traipsed weakly on lifeless buckets
For he was,
Of a sight and his bucket
Impaired.
Gbam!! Gbam!!
He falls to the Earth's suface
Could he be no more?

(TheSCRYPT)

The two unripe nobs, sob,
Bellowing 'mama', 'baba',
In pangs, for no bangs.
With their buckets impaired
And less of stamina,
They positioned unbeknowst,
Moving to opposition.
They wondered on sopping as,
They wandered on sobbing.

(Weno)

Some bomber mobs, now extinct,
For their buckets impaired.
At the heels of the sopped sobbing nobs,
Were the supreme mobs,
Shoving them to the Earth's suface,
They ripped their sopped clothing
And robbed the unripe nobs of their stainlessness.

(Weno)

The two unripe nobs growled,
In pain as they sobbed and bawled,
'Maaa-maaa' , 'baaaa-baaa',
Out of sight was 'mama' and,
'Baba', for their buckets now wasted.
Out of sight was the distinguished,
For their buckets now extinguished,
And the unripe nobs no more,
For their buckets leaked and mosture gone.

Analysis:

This poem makes us reflect on the incessant albatross in Boko Haram, an anomaly that has plagued the nation for over a decade.

It relates poetry to the experience of helpless people facing fear and danger daily. The poem basically represents an attack by these bombers as they leave behind, the wounded and breathless bodies referred to as 'buckets', lying on the ground for no good reason, lives of the innocent Children with purpose lost and their parents gone to the beyond. An Urchin who struggles for survival, two young children referred to as 'unripe nobs' looking for their Parents despite the anguish, they get raped by these suicide bombers and eventually loose their lives.
What is the way forward? How will all these come to an end? Only God knows.

Poetic Devices

Similie:
Line 15 and 16 makes use of Similie, comparing 'the wild blue yonder', vociferating like a Lion.

Rhymes:
Lines 12 and 13,' cannonade and grenade'
Line 19 and 20, "might', 'night', 'light', 'sight'
Line 23 and 24, 'sobs and nob'
Line 25, 'wheezed and sneezed'
Line 35, 'pangs and bangs'
Line 40 and 41, 'wondered and wandered', 'sopping and sobbing'
Line 53 and 54 ' distinguished and extinguished'

Personification:
Line 21 'the moon snored'

Hyperbole:
Line 14 'extinguishing buckets'
Line 17 'tears of crimson'
Line 18 'submerging buckets'
Line 21 'the moon snored'
Line 26 'he traipsed weakly on lifeless buckets'

Rhetorical question:
Line 32, 'Could he be no more?'

Onomatopoeia:
Line 11, 'Gbooa!!, Gboooaaa!!'
Line 30, 'Gbam!!, Gbam!!'

Analysis by Weno.


Copy:
Weno

Contestants 57: Orjhong and Wisdomkosi

Stanzas 1-3 written by Orjhong

Stanzas 4-6 written by Wisdomkosi

Orjhong:08082967072

Wisdomkosi: 07018798617

 

How to Love

Orjhong

Her name nobody knew, her story told at sundown,

He called her Shakima, her beauty defied all answers

He watched as she grew, the beast became a reality,

He didn’t leave, he knew how to love.

 

She wasn’t his white dove, her presence brought chaos

Her skin made him burn, he was forever entwined,

Drawn to her doom, seeking its darkness,

He didn’t lie, he knew how to love.

 

His kin watched as he was gradually consumed

Saved him, took her breath away, they erred

All that was left was a man without a soul,

She didn’t destroy him, they did.

 

Wisdomkosi

Every noon they watched him leave

Harvest’s abandoned for a known beast

He followed her like a fly to poo

Shakima was his waterloo

 

At sundown, they taunted and sneered

Wondered how deep the curse ran

Knew he was in a party with doom,

A tale written in stone, the outcome they feared

 

They decided to save their own,

Alter that which had been written in stone,

Separated the dog from the bone,

Pushed him to end his life alone.


Analysis:
**Shakima is an African name that means "beautiful one"

The poem is a simple poem about a man who falls in love with a woman who's destined to bring doom to whoever falls in love with her. He knows that but is still drawn to her.
His kinsmen see and know what the relationship would do to him and kill her, at the end, her death destroys him.
Basically it's a tragic love tale.

Thanks for d opportunity! Dis poem is off now coz itz been submitted for anoda entry

CONTESTANTS 50: threedots and Chuksab

STANZAS 1, 2, 5, 8, 9: threedots
STANZAS 3, 4, 6, 7: Chuksab

A Philosopher and a Poet Paint a Portrait of Change

Bad news recalibrate my body and dumps me in hell,
So when death whispers, i ask her, "What's there to tell?"
Ninety years old men no longer feel closer to peace,
Eternity is just an exaggerated concept, it's a complex disease.
You see! Everything is soul stretching,
The bloodletting stops me from being steady,
Still i spread my arms on the rough heading
To hug the horizon and catch the sun setting
Then cast a shadow of hope like a wise cretin.

I've seen the antics of change.
Change is just a constant; A cliche overdose
Fed to hungry men from back then when the world was given a rose.
Let me entice you to question change and those that has fed it to you,
For how do you begin to get answers when the answers itself is a puzzle to you.

The Arctic tern, famous for its migration
Flies from its Arctic breeding ground
Through crest and troughs they motion
Exceedingly high, twice the year round

We, a people not keen about revolution
Even in the worst of times, we made no sound
The guns loaded, still not our option
Amidst challenges we need not go the Arctic tern bound


Yet, who am i not to keep hoping?
I watch the earth twist as my brain twirl positions,
I know things, the knowledge of which makes me levitate
Into oblivion as i hover over the bland remains
Of lost souls and ghosts left to meditate.
Tell me, what's the essence of an anthem
If it's sang over a corpse?
For some, funeral feels like romance; A probable cause.
Dig the graves and catch in on the Naira bills
The same people you ask for change are the same people who never heals.
I tell you,
You want something so bad? You have to get a go at it
for hope is a room full of mirrors,
you are the reflection, take a good look at it.


With our souls now wet with tension
Respite we crave even in short rebound
As our hearts yearn for a new nation
A new Nigeria, our hope we pray may abound

Change they chanted, a respite from degeneration
We want change hence embrace without bound
With open hands raised we in jubilation
Yearning for a true change, not fairground.

If you drink from societies umbilical cord
Then you'll know life and death started on a wrong footing;
Two planets orbiting God,
And heaven is just a place where angels take selfies.
Everything we ever needed is here,
But that knowledge itself is our Achilles heel.
We strife, we fight, we hunger for what is not
Then we ask for change after we've just made it worst.


I'll tell you how hope is lost,
It is looking into your grandson's eyes
And seeing what you could have done but didn't
Because you were asking for change from those who could not.



ANALYSES

In general the poem talks about Change,regret, hope and the folly of believing or asking people for change when in truth we ourselves need to initiate the change and do something about it instead of waiting for others. So many other concepts were talked about in the poem and how they relate with our hunger for a changed society. (Literal Meaning)

The first stanza discusses how bad news now feels like dying which renders death eventually ineffective and less painful, it talks about loosing hope as a result of the evil happening around us. When you are old enough and close to death, you are supposed to be at peace but the third line shows otherwise, this could be as a result of regret and makes you wonder how living for eternity would feel like with such regrets. The 12 line talks about the age during the beginning of world civilization, following from the 11th line you'll see that change has always been around, but the change we are getting, is that what we really want? Stanzas 3 and 4 issues a warning while making comparisons to a bird known for it long migration in search of whatever keeps them alive, the same things human do. We search for love, trust, respect, honor yet we betray these same things we are searching for with the evil we commit against our fellow men. I'm open to further discussions. (Connotative Meaning)

In the wake of a new political and democratic era, change seem to be the song on everybody's lips, it is what we are promised and it is what we deserve. However there is a folly in this, how can you leave your destiny to the promises of a few knowing fully well that though the individuals may have changed, the wheel that brought them to power is absolutely the same.(I stand to be corrected) And Hope? how much should you place in yourself(lines 35 and 36) and how much should you place in others. This briefly captions what the poem symbolizes (Symbolic Meaning)

The poem used a mixture of free versed and rhyming structure, though the rhymed parts did not follow any known form of stress or rhyming patterns. This was done deliberately to relate even with its structure to the concepts we are discussing as change is never something to follow a specific pattern. (Structure of the poem)

llaykorn I hope you have seen it. submitted

Contestants 28:
.
Smartlife and Kagari:
.
Poem written and reviewed by Smartlife and Kagari
.
Kagari: 08138741301
smartlife: 08139088832 .
.
.
BLACKMANISM
.
Kagari:
.
Nations and nations, y'all arise,
.
Africa was indeed to be the first,
.
Rigging and wriggling was its class,
.
Henceforth dwelt in hunger and thirst.
.
***
Other nations pounced on this chance,
.
As it slipped Africans hands,
.
The quest unquestionably began,
.
On whom was to inherit the fruits of the land.
.
***
Europe blessed as the wisest of all,
.
Broke the spell and impressed "WORLD",
.
Grew from strenght to the core,
.

Till He graciously unbalanced the Law.
.
***
There were disagreements, minds were biased,
.
Focus was lost, vital opinions clashed,
.
Another chance for all to break free,
.
Just North America had a family tree.
.
***
North America took charge of His affairs,
.
Encouraging others to do same,
.
He only helped if the price was fair,
.
Give and take was the price to tame.
.
***
***
Smartlife:
***
***
.
Asia been the most resourceful of all,
.
Took a clue from Uncle nature,
.
Grew from the little piece of advice,
.
Into a large and booming enterprise.
.
***
Africa had no feasible way out,
.
Europe nurtured and groomed Australia,
.
North America dined with His twin "SOUTH",
.
Africa was just left with the "Antarctica".
.
***
They had round table to discuss issues,
.
Issues became problems due to Africans skin.
.
Africa was the only black which indeed was true,
.
So had nothing to share or begin.
.
***
Africa was given an option to serve,
.
Until His bones got weak and tired,
.
No dignity at all to preserve,
.
The little He wore were technically wired.
.
***
Africa got a clue from God knows where,
.
And built on the basis of wear and tear,
.
Only if He comes to His senses and merits,
.
Would he realise the fruits of the land, He is to inherit.

.
.
.
This is a simple poem that depicts the bad state and backwardness experienced in the african continent. In the first stanza it was illustrated in line 3.
.
This poem also illustrates some basic issues and how it has shaped the different continents of the world and also shaped history.
.
Cc
.
Texanomaly

CONTESTANTS 53: Larryfly & IGITee
Stanza 1 – 6: IGITee
Stanza 7 – 10: Larryfly

BETTER THAN LIFE
**
The routine flight of the night was done
Many lay fast asleep and still lazily dreamed
As dusk gradually turned to an inevitable harmattan dawn
Another typical Sunday morning or so it seemed
****
Rustling of leaves in a dance of morning glee
The Harmony of bleating goats and precision of crowing cocks
All signs of life; sounds of the new day’s plea
A call to arise; a summon to wake up and hastily work
******
In the corner she was; bare and in a slight crouch
With eyes like bloodied pebbles; clearly deprived and ominously bothered
Collapsing by weights unseen but visibly causing slouch
No words uttered but shaking with tears freely offered
********
Above her he stood; fierce and clearly gleaming
Pants sagging and oozing sweat like muddy waters
While she lay sprawled; her treasure snatched in an act most damning
This is it! the last straw; the proverbial camel's back it shatters
**********
She recalled the night her innocence was violently snuffed
Like a thief in the night he stealthily pilfers
Hand to mouth and knife to hand; all pleas deftly rebuffed
A shepherd devouring an innocent sheep in its care and coffers
************
In horror and shock she had cried out to her mentor
Fallacy they said; a made up tale suggestive of imaginations
Pushed back and rescinded; she got comfort only from her tormentor
As haven turned hell; a tale of daily persecutions
**************
The voices of conscience, religion and love
The drumbeats of passion, emotions and cheer
All drowned by the desire to bow to pressures from above
A desire not desired to cheerfully bear
****************
Tortured by love and mocked by life
Whipped brutally with nature's hurtful strife
Pain comes faster than hasty longing breath
Nudging her slowly to the path of certain death
******************
She sat staring; gazing at the noose
Which appeared to her like a glorious dangling crown
She was thirsty for death to finally get loose
A fate she has accepted gladly without a frown
********************
Now she hangs and gloomily stares
The only way to make it plain and truly bare
As the devil faintly whispers from the inside
Eerily calling out; 'Hello' from the other side

ANALYSIS
’ Better than Life’ is a poem that brings to bare the plight of the girl child in the hands of their supposed guardians and confidants. It chronicles the tales of the majority of women still under bondage and torture; who are too afraid to speak up for fear of life or too weak to fight back due to continuous suppression and neglect.
We aimed at shinning a light on the reason why someone will consider death a better escape to life… What will make a girl in her teens that is full of life and promise; that knows and fears God; who has dreams and ambitions; who is passionate, probably in love and has interests to suddenly prefer the noose as a means to get loose...?
Though tragic, we hope that this ignites a spark in us that will enable us champion the fight for the protection of the girl child and bring a stop to cases of rape and violence against women.

POETIC DEVICES
Personification: Flight of the night (Stanza 1, Line 1)
Simile: Like a glorious crown (Stanza 9, Line 2)
Imagery: Noose which appeared like a glorious crown (Stanza 9, Line 1 & 2)
Metaphor: A shepherd devouring an innocent sheep (Stanza 5, Line 4)
Irony: A shepherd devouring an innocent sheep (Stanza 5, Line 4)
Rhyme Sceme: abab
Enjabment: Stanza 9, Line 1 & 2

By Contestant 15 (Divepen1 and Gr8Adedayo)

Phone: 07089578428 and 08035483457

Stanzas 1,2,6,7,8,11,12. By Divepen1
Stanzas 3,4,5,9,10,13,14. By Gr8Adedayo

TITLE: FLASH BACK
1. Joy From A Germinating Acacia
2. Acacia Lost
3. Hope

[b]JOY FROM A GERMINATING ACACIA

The illusion of an obvious past

Visible in a thought that speaks with blast

Although washed off by the erosion of time

Yet it leaves its traces in mud and slime

-------------------------------------------------------------

How she worths my first shy ink

And how I was the first to win her three sacred words

How I childishly recited my lines and almost sank

And how she innocently listened and blushed

---------------------------------------------------------------------


Where we held hands and reduced the airspace separating our chests

Where we locked lips and exchanged breaths

Where we planted acacia seeds

And nursed the hope that it would one day turn a shade for all and sundry

------------------------------------------------------------------


Our hearts met joy

Like the meeting between a first time mother and her fragile baby boy

We became like the lucky 'Gambler Fernando'

When he just hit a million in the casino

---------------------------------------------------------------


I remember with colourful graphics

The swells that inflates her cheeks

Brilliantly drawn by the artist that lived in her smile

Whenever we shared each thrilling moment in our style

I also retain the sag that deflates the swell

Every time I hurt that artist with a yell

----------------------------------------------------------------


Those were the days when technology was a suckling

And temporary separation was inevitable

But she would beat herself up the stairs

To make her voice heard across that distance


----------------------------------------------------------


And during the evenings

I would walk to a place where my phone could catch some signals

And patiently wait till a call route in from ‘Priceless Jewel’

I remember the rage that married my hairless face any time I waited in vain


------------------------------------------


The flimsy excuses we gave at home whenever we planned to meet

Always became funny and tangible

As soon as we've hidden behind the daffodils to play

Those moments were Eden

--------------------------------------------



She’d stroll past me everyday

Sending across ‘a killer’ smile all the way

That smile that quickened the affection that fired up within me

And unleashed the confidence buried deeply in the soil of my heart

That smile was magic

--------------------------------------------------



Whenever distance did its worst again

Like the earth would pray the sky

To send her rains once again

I would entreat the angels on high


To make our paths cross again

---------------------------------------------


ACACIA LOST

But it came to pass in those days


That the acacia we planted was discovered

It wouldn’t be a secret forever

Sister 'Sofo' smoked-out our shy secret


-----------------------------------------------------



We had our hearts in our mouth

While we sat and listened to our mamas

As they gave their sermons

Then followed the 'regrettable epistle' which I wrote to her


----------------------------------------


HOPE

I wouldn’t know what happened to the acacia

dead or alive? lost or safe?

dormant or conscious?

But I know her condition is vague


---------------------------------------------



I am neither unenthusiastic nor cynical

So I wish her well wherever she is

Always on my knees for her

Making prayers and benedictions

May the keepers find her
and preserve her in a place so serene.[/b]




FLASH BACK: POEM ANALYSIS.

FLASH BACK is a poem featuring two young lovers who are in a secret love.

The boy writes about how they started and enjoyed the moment (as seen in JOY FROM A GERMINATING ACACIA.)

How the parents got to know and disapproved of it (as seen in ACACIA LOST.)

And the hope the boy has after a long time that their love is still preserved (as seen in HOPE.)

ACACIA is a plant that depicts love. The lovers planted acacia seed (love) and nursed the hope that they will grow up to make a lovely family but their secret love was discovered and exposed as seen in stanza 11 Line 4 (Sister Sofo smoked-out our shy secret)

THEMES: Reminiscence, Secret love, Joy, exposure, regret, nostalgia, hope.

1.POETIC DEVICES: There are some poetic devices in the poem. Some of them are pointed below.

(a.) Stanza 1 Line 1. (Oxymoron) The illusion of an obvious past

(b.) Stanza 1 Line 2 (Paradox) Visible in a thought that speaks with blast

(c.) Stanza 6 Line 1 (Personification) Those were the days when technology was a suckling

(d.) Stanza 11 Line 4 (Alliteration) Sister Sofo smoked-out our shy sheep. It can also be Euphemism. Instead of saying she let out our secret, it was reported in a mild way.

2. RUN-ON-LINE : The lines of the poem are connected until the verse ends with a final full stop.

3. RHYME: There are few Rhymes in the poem. Examples are seen in

STANZA 1

Past and blast
Time and Slime

STANZA 4

Joy and boy
Fernando and casino

STANZA 5

Graphic and Cheeks
Swell and Yell


4. MOOD: The mood depicted in the poem is Nostalgic

Hmmmmm

Contestants 56 : TheAgba And Speeder

Written by TheAgba and Edited by Speeder

(08111249423 And

07019768528)

[b]STING FROM A DISTANT LOVER

Stanza 1

Those eyes electrified with desire,
Those plausible eyes in pictures stood firm. Lifeless I become
Starring at souvenir pictures of...
Ruminating about those eyes
That moved with my face .

Stanza 2

How I met her, fell for her,
Gravity played no part.
I find myself in a realm of erotic sensation
With a voice that plucked the strings of my heart,
Caressed by her laughter
From a distance to be approached in light years.

Stanza 3

Distance between two hearts
Standing with a gate fee
Love at no cost, from a distance
I feel her heart beat.
My faceless dreams,
Explain my deep obsessions.

Stanza 4

Far from the surface of reality ,
I stole a kiss of pleasure.
I could make the earth stand still
To be accommodated in her fortress,
But in proxy was I welcomed .
Like it was my last battle to conquer.

Stanza 5

Sincere love.
Indecisive heart beats
That summoned my subconsciousness.
This pleasurable pain ,
Her honourable gain ,
Yet do I listen to her voice of melody.

Stanza 6

I'll woo the dark clouds ,
Do my crying in the rain
Never to let the world see my tears
That I've fondled my fears .
Now I'm just one hundred and eighty degrees,
Ready to transcend to the life beyond.

Stanza 7

I questioned my decisions,
Reassessed my hopes,
Made it clearer than I cared,
I sanctioned my thoughts,
Bled my emotions
Beyond reach does she yet be.

Stanza 8

If the evening star
Could shine a little on me,
Even in the eclipse of my emotions,
I will rise ninety degrees under the moonlight
With my inamorata,
To behold her in a time second to first.

Stanza 9

We'll love before and after hell's fight .
A kiss in battle before the night .
To make three wishes; one for me ,two for us
To live, to see her, to fall again and repeatedly
If she can read my emotions,
Then we create another episode.
[/b]

Analysis

The poem is about a story of a lover who fell in love with someone he has never seen ,suffered obsession,and later a heart ache only for hope to stir up again that one day he would meet her and that would be an impact on their relationship.

CONTESTANT 9: obiZEAL and Cosmasel

obiZEAL: 08167499365

Cosmasel: 08037823641



[/b]THE STRENGTH OF HOPE[b]



Giant of her Mother, Pride of her father

Heart of the continent upon which she strides

Her beauty arouses envy and wonder

Gestures of strength she employs to chide


Her beauty never ceases to flourish into amazing realms

Her bosoms infinitely flowing with black milk worth more than gold

Her demeanor reflects obstacles Overcome

With shimmering tears that holds hope untold


Her sway tells the history of battles won

With elegance piercing into the future as time unfolds

Her smile gives rise to the morning sun

And to the depressed, happiness to behold


Her complexion so conspicuous as the Nile from the sky

Her companionship brings peace and her presence radiates delight

Her endowments as sweet as nectar that men like bees flock around

To her offspring she instills character and in the works of her hands, dignity abound


She feeds her clan with fine harvest and of spring from where the greats have drank

Her fecundity so great as the tree planted by the river bank

Her dreams and hopes for her children as big as the land mass she covers

Her good thought as many as the tribes she bore


Her good character as strong as Zuma rock

Her bosom flows of crude and palm

Renewing its vitality with the passing time

She feeds the continent and distance clans


In return, she takes not a dime

In her ties lies morality and virtue

Qualities she has kept pristine

As received from nature to whom she have been true



Her kids never outgrow her black milk

Animals of all species seek to have a taste

Her heart made not with flesh but kindness

She commands respect with her ambience


Her words brings not distress but calmness

Words of solace she speaks even in silence

Hundred years of matrimony and fifty five years of Adulthood

Four children, thirty six grandchildren; evidence of her parenthood



Her once smooth skin now ridden with ruptured veins with bumps and potholes

Her full and flowing hair as thick as a forest now like a desert dries

Her innocence tried and her softness cries

Her serenity encroached and her peace defiled


Threatened by divorce from the south and east

Weakened by annihilation from the north

Taste of her salty tears caused by the fruits her womb brought forth

Her smile now ridden with a contour


But she'll overcome as before, that's sure

Carrying on strong and virile as the days after the war


obiZEAL's lines: 1,2,3,4,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,15,17,18,23,24,25,26,28,31,32,33,34,39,41,42,43,44,45,46

Cosmasel's lines:5,6,14,16,19,20,21,22,27,29,30,35,36,37,38,40




Commentary

The poets personified Nigeria as a woman of great beauty an resilience, comparing her womanly endowments to the natural resources of Nigeria

and outlining some of the challenges Nigeria is currently going through, subtly, as not to dwell much on negativity but on strength and positivity.

Ultimately expressing HOPE that the challenges shall be surmounted.

contestant 36 :Tuminibody & dchiefpriest
stanza 2,4,6 by Tuminibody
stanza 1,3,5 by dchiefpriest

Theme : Crisis and peace.
Dchiefpriest

Fears have you created in our hearts
Our hearts runs of tears
Our men fears while our women cries
Have you not done enough
Even our tears has rained enough
I know we can't pay you enough
Please let by-gone be by-gone
Listen to me for am not done

Tuminibody

Wait a second , think a minute
Can you not all feel it
Our land has been suckled dry
Even the dead gives a subtle cry
Innocence slaughtered on an altar of rage
Wisdom butchered in full glare of the sage
Like the rising of dawn , our worries are risen
With the breaking of day , our hopes are broken

Dchiefpriest

The vehicle of injustice runs at full speed
Even the righteous cannot be spared
Weekdays of sorrow
We can't even borrow
Your arrow of wickedness
Runs through our unclothedness
You look upon us fiercely
And we are destroyed freely

Tuminibody

O ye prince of peace
Where hath thy piece of peace
With the baton we have been battered
Our mind is broken and shattered
Shall our dirge ever end ?
Shall our mind ever dread ?
When shall our face be adorned with smiles
When shall we tread fearlessly for 6 miles

Dchiefpriest

We have suffered enough your majesty
We have come before your dynasty
Breath on us your oxygen
So that our life can go back to the origin
I thought myself alone then
But now I see us all in the Lions den
We have cried enough for the crises
Now let us stand up and fight for the prizes

Tuminibody

I whispered shouts in silence
Alone with my thoughts in ambience
I see the silver lining in our dark sky
I see the golden days and nights  are nigh
Let the young and old understand
Divided we stand , united we can withstand
For a mind that knows is truly free
For each soul , let there be peace.

Analysis : The poem x-rays the state of crisis in our country and how bad it has gone, also it showcases the importance of peace and made prayers for peace to reign. The poem also talks about the unity of our dear country.

Contestants 4: LadyF and 69MissedCalls
Stanzas 1, 2, 6 written by 69MissedCalls
Stanzas 3, 4, 5 written by LadyF



DARE TO DREAM


I've been here before, but always hit the floor

l've spent a lifetime running and I always get away

but with you I'm feeling something that makes me want to stay


I'm prepared for this

I never shoot to miss

But I feel like a storm is coming

If I'm gonna make it through the day

Then there's no more use in running

This is something I have to face

If I risk it all

Could you break my fall?


They say you can find it,

Hard to miss, glaring it is

I’ll have to take my chance

Whichever way it goes

There's always solace

Knowing at least you tried

 

Standing up to face my fears

Too scared to get my heart broken and end up in tears

More scared of the thought of losing you

Despite my imperfections I'm worthy of you

I know triumph is near

Only time will tell

 

With you, I look forward to tomorrow

Thoughts of renewed hope to wipe away my sorrow

An unexplainable feeling, its getting mature

Like no other in the world

I hope I get this chance, I'm worthy

Everybody deserves somebody.


I have dreams of love land

The synergy amazes me;

A contrast fleet rides as one;

It is like a waiting man,

Who saddles on his head;

The canoe wanders heavily on scanty waters;

It paddles like it knows;

I conjure faint ripples fall on my skin...Oh

Love land "Who will take me there?"

 

Dare to dream!

Most times we are faced with situations where we feel incapable of certain actions or decisions. For most of us, we give in to these fears and insecurities and lose the little hope left; others rise above the odds and take the leap of faith. Yeah, it's a love poem but it also applies to all aspects of life. This poem by 69missedcalls and LadyF, is a wake-up call for all nairalanders, home and abroad, to overcome their fears and dare to dream. In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take so dare to dream!

Contestants 5:rainiscoming and divinepen
WE DARE TO HOPE

I still can’t forget the pain
Ever fresh like the day’s rain
The only gleeful grain
Is that no pain, no gain.(divinepen)

Yes, pain is more gain than pain,
We have been through the mud stain,
Swam the sharks’ infested water,
Still standing erect, doing better.(rainiscoming)

Still wondering what this is
The pain that comes with this ease
I wish to go apart
Yet, it seems I’m destined to play the part.(divinepen)

Yes, we all must first suffer,
Sandpaper? My hands are rougher
Escape? Not an option,
I must play my part in this great nation.(rainiscoming)

Like an obsessed fanatic
I kept the faith in Naija fantastic
Despite the hues and cries
This green and white must rise.(divinepen)


I once lost hope, I must confess,
Naija flag defiled, dumped in mess
I saw the stars and stripes and in delight,
I ask, why are my parents not white?(rainiscoming)


Then I read of the wild, wild west
When for the whites all was not at rest
For they had once gone through the pain
That seemed to hold us like chain.(divinepen)


The welts on our back,
Is it a crime to be black?
The sweats on our brow,
Are we doomed to bow?(rainiscoming)

For mirrors and gin
Brothers sold kith and kin
I thought it was long past
But they still hunt for the slavery path.(divinepen)

A path strewn with tears and bones,
Slavery was never gone, it exists as clones
Independence brought water and soap,
Grapes and goats while they held the rope. (rainiscoming)


They cut the freedom cake and ate
While stewing in the broth of hate
We shall really celebrate
If only our hearts we can remediate.(divinepen)


From the top of the food chain,
Down to the dregs of the drain,
The addicts, the perverts, the thieves
Get to choose who become the Chiefs. (rainiscoming)

The pain and the ache rise
As men ruled with hearts of ice
Oh, but for a moment of rarity
So that the oppressed can keep sanity.(divinepen)

For hope and change, we pray again and again,
Praying the vultures to be born again!
A good welfare and a decent job,
Will convert even a lynch mob. (rainiscoming)

For Nigeria of our dream we dare to hope
Believing we will be delivered from the hell hole
Through faith, integrity and hard work
Nigerians shall surely rock (divinepen)

ANALYSIS
The poem opened with the illustration of the hope Nigerians have despite the daily pain unleashed on them by the harsh economic environment.This poem reviews the challenges of Nigeria from the period of slave trade when "for mirrors and gin,
brothers sold kith and kin" to the present moment when forces of oppression still " held the rope" . Despite abundance of resources, the country is plagued by bad leadership since addicts and perverts are those who select leaders. The independence of 1960 did not translate to real freedom because people "cut the freedom cake and ate while stewing in the broth of hate". The truth of this manifested when few years after independence, the nation went to war with itself.
The poem emphasizes the fact that Nigerians must remediate the ills of the heart for the country to be truly free. This is because slave-master relationships still abound today despite the end of slave trade . People become a "lynch mob "because of societal deprivations which if remedied by leaders can reduce crimes. Despite all the analysed challenges, the poem closed with a ring of hope that with prayers, "faith, integrity and hard work ,Nigerians shall surely rock".

cc.llaykorn,texanomaly

Contestants 22: Ibnzubair and Donjowebs

IBNZUBAIR


There is this future we all expected
A dream that has kept us all excited
A past we believed, that never was
For as it had always been, we had no cause
Now we see a future that isn’t to be
Eyes open or closed that we won’t see
We rather told our hearts it will come
That the future was sure, and it was for some
Those opportune to rule like kings
They are those who fly over with wings
Who deceives us that we are on the path
But live on our wealth and grow so fat
O youths of today when will you arise
And tell yourselves “enough of the cries”
It’s time to fight for that which is right
Let on our torches, and not wait for the light
The light the deceivers have promised for long



DONJOWEBS


No! We won't tarry and wary
In this quest for our conquest
So let us embrace this race
To fight this gloom and doom of evening men
A doom that has built a room over our boom
Let us disunite our weaknesses
And unite in our strength of collective belief
Belief bonded and forged
In a furnace of brotherhood and nationhood
Let’s stand together and defeat the wrong
And to this I can proudly say
The future is here and has come to stay


ANALYSIS

This poem is generally about Nigeria... Past present and the likely future. We all believe in a great past that never existed, we kept whining in the present about our condition instead of standing up for ourselves and we hope the future brings better without working towards that...

The aim is the youth, they are the group most affected by this chaotic situation so it is left to them to decide what they want.


cc texanomaly

Contestants 55: april4mee & israelboy1

stanzas 1,3,5,7,9,11,13,15 by arpil4mee
Stanzas 2,4,6,8,10,12,14,16 by Israelboy1

Lamentation of a proletariat speaking to the mirror.

April4mee
Loaded to the brim, yet boxed in a pack of "obersver-non participants"
folded like a wrap, yet forced to lack in the ranks of "server-run-anticipants"
dare to pass a comment and... a knife to your jugular
they claim to pass, yet, your life was the formulae

Israelboy1
hmm, what a shame, are you trying to get a fame?
Where is the pain? are you trying to make a stain?

April4mee
all wok and no play
work work work and no pay
take home pay? No way
oh! how they dread our own payday!

Israelboy1
judging you without a wig
studying you, just like a tick
trusting you without a doubt
what's your say?...is all i ask

April4mee
Bourgeoisies, yes! They ply oversea
their remnants, our works, they oversee.
We build the roads, yet can't posses the cars that ply same.
Decyphering the codes, the confessors, the liars...we've been long in this game

Israelboy1
What's your aim?...with this comical game
who are they? ...Why all these hate

April4mee
Suffering, yet been forced to smile -"all is well -my foot!"
Oh! My root! My precedence...their loot!...my antecedence
their brute, they rule...when they loot....we mute
we've been stripped of our patience - robbed of our conscience.

Israelboy1
Wow! Is all i could say
You! Is all to blame
Focus! Let it be your aim
Blame What's your gain?

April4mee
we've been hit, smite, spite, ...despite, we still fit
they've been well bred, well fed, yet still got a lot to mend
even when we miss, they don't give a shit!
Though we do the roughs, their signatures they append

Israelboy1
getting me high with sigh
it's tough, i shouldn't lie
what's your say, about this sight?
What have you been doing, letting it get to this height?

April4mee
Oh! This road i ply, puts food on my table, shows me the bills and ...i babble
Yes! It puts coin in my pocket
girds my loins with debts "a regal quarter"

Israelboy1
I said it without a word
wrote it without a pen
everyman for himself, "YES, THAT'S YOUR PRACTISE"
survival of the fittest, "YES, THAT'S YOUR WORSHIP"

April4mee
"heads will roll"...let mine not be included
lest my judgement became beclouded
i've been spent, feeble in my might and...
Last time i checked, ain't no other option in sight

Israelboy1
desperado!!!...a precious name i will give to you
bandido!!!.....my shout out to all living beings
we blame and crucify...leaving questions unanswered
understand these things....lest you turn out to be a prey

April4mee
the unfortunante me i found myself in...we seem to be tied up!...but i know we will triumph

Israelboy1
that's the spirit....talk less (about the wrongs) nd do more (to your environs)
you are not alone "i say"...we are in this together..."i scream"

Lamentations of a proletarian
a song been loaned, without a collateral

ANALYSIS
This piece is centered on the ordeals and the discriminations of the proletariat.
Proletariats are the lower working class.
The word "Bourgeoisies" is used to describe a class of people who fall somewhere between the lowest and highest classes, it is also been used insultingly.

In between the very poor and the super rich is the bourgeoist, people have traditionaly viewed them as a kind of crass and pretentious being. They are the capitalist class, as opposed to the workers (proletariat)....

A proletariat, already shifted to the wall, by the assumed power vested on the government, out of frustration checked out the mirror on a monday (busy) morning....talking back to himself in a manner not communicable with a normal being....at least, he got the message (helping his environment without waiting for the government).
People can see this as been abnormal, "a person in need of help, trying to help others" this simply is the fastest link, getting out of your own doom.....it's never just a fact, but what is happening in reality....help the government, not until you are been helped....care for your environ, not until you are been forced.

The PICTURE is that of an everyday hustler, the way we hustle and they take the priase, the way they match us to rise up
the way we sweat and they are relunctant to pay us
the way they shut us up, from airing our opinions
the way they feed us miserably, just to keep us alive for another day's work, not minding our desire for pleasure
the way their mediocrity supervises and criticises the best of our abilities.

The poem protrays the strength and tenacity of the proletariat, despite the harsh conditions as opposed to luxury the bourgeoisies enjoy "yet, the rich still cries"....
MOOD
the mood here is that of vexation and threatened revolution, but in the wake of pseudo-helplessness.
The opening lines shows the mood here, showing the proletariat, boxed in a corner and it also ends, showing them having no choice -suffering in silence


cc:texanomaly llaykorn

Contestants: 30, PopeExplicit and Oyetunder
Stanzas 1,3,5,6,8,10: PopeExplicit
Stanzas 2,4,7,9: Oyetunder

BEAUTY
.
(PopeExplicit)
I'm standing at caprice's gate of affection
Staring at you, a visual representation of absolute perfection;
Conferred with an inexplicable trait
And a ravishing name of Kate.

Your eyeballs bellow in nature's tender voice
Like a scandal scent in a room that's void.
.
(Oyetunder)
Your unspeakable beauty
Speaks louder for yourself-
Tell me your source;
Let me know your roots-
And the stem of such a tree
Which has sprung up in a comely velocity.
.
(PopeExplicit)
Your apparition evanesce the icicles in men;
Sprouting new predilection notions-
For the words which would be scribbled with pen;
Sans anybody resisting the motion.

Long hail this replica of an ancestral deity
With a veneer that gloss unquietly.
.
(Oyetunder)
Stronger than the heat;
The burning of Sahara-
Slippery than the swamps;
The swamps and its oils-
Faster than the leaps;
The leaps of antelopes.
.
(PopeExplicit)
The rainbow is uncustomary;
For it surfaces during your rain(reign)-
Vociferating the covenant you made in your sanctuary;
When the cloud burst was untamed.

May you curse the rainbow;
That after the rain is the only time it should show.
.
(PopeExplicit)
Your hairstyle is synonymous to a ponytail;
Reflecting its nutritive hallmark-
Making men desiderate for a touch beyond the pale;
With a racing pulse nigh the cardiac.

The God of gods has made you indefectible;
And your hair; impeccable.
.
(Oyetunder)
Unscratched remains the skin;
In the midst of battles-
Unwashed is your dignity;
In the circle of poverty-
Courage undefeated;
Through slavery chains.
.
(PopeExplicit)
Your teeth is a snow crystal;
Bivouacked in a tiny diaphanous glass-
Engulfing in disparate styles;
Like a body relieved from a Mass.

With a nipping, glacial and gelid reserve;
Cooling every tempered feeling when served.
.
(Oyetunder)
More than those famines
Wider than those diseases
Stronger than the swords
Taller than the tribal marks-
For you are; A virgin to virgins and;
A beauty to their beauties.
.
(PopeExplicit)
Jealousy brews among lasses;
Of incomparable gemstone like you-
Making irrelevant advances
But not close to the ones you do.

If I should lip the words of my heart
I would enumerate your beauty in many parts.

Analysis: The poem is about the uncompromising qualities of a luscious lass of incomparable trait. Her beauty needs no megaphone for publication as it ululate amongst other lasses. She's being envied by all and her all-round beauty makes her second to none.
The themes adopted are : Joy, compliment, love and jealousy.

Cc llaykorn, texanomaly

CONTESTANTS 45: VANTEE20 AND TKUSH.

Stanzas 1, 6: Vantee20

Stanzas 2, 3, 4, 5: Tkush.

TITLE: A SONG OF LIFE AND DEATH.


Vantee20

What is life if not one grand stageplay in which all humans are casts?
Where what we have in our script is all we know.

One by one, we enter the theater of the world and go on to act our part in the play of life,
Some with prominent roles, others not so.

Ultimately, we'll act out our part and leave the stage,
There and then, to our creator, the play wright, we go.

Tkush

So soothing comes the morning brew
When I realize it’s a new dawn

For new possibilities and hopes
In a very challenging economy

Where perfidy is the order of the day
No work No pay…that’s if there is even job

Still hope on nairaland to keep the day busy

Tkush

Life O’ life
Why so unfair to a larger percentage

Where fraud is celebrated more than hardwork
Giving hopes with what exists not

Then again I give it a second thought
That it's worthwhile being here

Hope sauntered around me
Cause it's appreciated here

Could propel lalasticlala for FP
Because there is still breath in me

Then again appreciation comes above death.

Tkush

Death O’ death
Why so cruel

Abode far deeper than human surface
Hope's destroyer and family invalidator

No ambition to pursue
And no degree of greatness

No one to greet good morning
And no iota of sweet dream whisper

Nothing like age to live by
And no intimidation of any kind, that’s if you would appreciate that

To myself I give it a third thought
That I love being here

Being agree, even when I'm not there yet
I'm not where I used to be

Even when I don’t have all the beautiful
things
I could atleast see all the beautiful things

When the “Big Life” is not here yet
I could atleast fantasize while I work towards it

Tkush

Grace sufficient
Cause my connection with “Most High” is intact.

I am Black
And I understand the hustling script.

I might not be the richest yet
But I'm not dead.

To all who want to lose hope
Opportunity is here in disguise.

Keep your hope high while alive
Cause you already great in the making.

Vantee20

Many times in the past, I have asked myself, why am I supposed to die?
Why do I, someday, have to take a fatal blow from death's club?

Is there no immortality portion I can drink?
Or some death repelling lotion I can rub?

Decades of fruitless searches and profitless quests have however led me to embrace the fact that;
Death is a non-negotiable debt all humans must pay - a truth I had long chosen to snub.


Analysis:

The poem speaks about the struggles of ones lifetime and the inevitability of death. Every stanza has an allusion to the two central themes, life and death, hence the title "A song of life and death."

Themes: Life, Death, Hope, Appreciation.




Cc: Llaykorn, texanomaly.

Contestants 63: pureIvory & spidey77
pureIvory: Stanzas 1 & 3
spidey77: Stanzas 2 & 4
Edited by pureIvory and spidey77


Earth is never merry at this time
Putrid breath fill the air like a lime
Hasty feet running amidst haziness
Deafening bangs pour in all readiness
Under the blasting sun rays
The firing of metal stones ring like trays
Yes! trays we used moments ago
Before this frantic shrapnel spread its woe


Ah! Before his shirt starched and squeaky clean
Was painted with mushed livers and splattered spleen
Before the maddening shatters missed his brain
Tore through his lids and pierced his friend
Before it ripped his bones and tore his fat
And the sponge in his palms turned his best friend's heart
His blood slithering in the suns drier
The captain unbridled in his unwithering 'fire!'


Baam! it hit me
In all these deaths we lose
I could have won in my home with Simi
But here I am strangulated by a noose
The boys who once dreamt
They lie ashore in their blood pools
In our eagerness to please, we never learnt
It hit me, we are all fools


The man upon whose mandate we die, we do not know
The sky is loosening it's straps, the sun it's glow
He is burying these boots, this is definitely his last
The thunder is frightening, the rains gathering fast
He dies to see Simi, dip his nails in her crisp lace
The rains are now in hot drops, his infantry in hotter defence
The red flash didn't last, his rifle slips
He sees her between the gumming lids, our friend gently sleeps

Brief Analysis

The predominant theme of the poem is war.
A soldier amidst the height of war suddenly realizes how the war has changed the lives of the fighters. This has brought about the death of his friend in the battle field.
He realizes that the cause of the war is grossly unfounded (at least not worth all the bloodshed) as they do not even know or ever see who they are fighting for (line 1, stanza 4 ).
He remembers his lover at home and wishes to be with her, to fulfill all the promises he had made instead of being in the forefront of unnecessary violence.
He promises to bury his boots so as not to fight again after this particular confrontation and return to his lover. “ this is definitely his last” (stanza 4, line 3).
Unfortunately, he is shot right in the middle of his thoughts.

Mood and Tone

The poem moves pity, disapproval for war and disgust at the unnecessary loss of lives
This poem is written with the tone of disapproval for war
The poem is made up of four stanzas containing eight lines each

Figures of speech

Simile: line 2, line 6 stanza 1

Onomatopea: words like 'shatter', baam!, 'blasting' etc can easily be recognized in the work

Many other figures of speech can also be found in the poem

It is said ''when two elephants fight, the grasses suffer...''. When has violence ever favoured the street fighters? Let's say no to war..

Contestants 64: desmondDessi & beejayodus
stanzas 1,3,4 written by beejayodus
stanzas 2,5,6,7 and 8 written by desmondDessi

Poor Man

Who shall hear my cry in this failed part of earth?
Who shall listen to my long tales of woes?
Of a life that held so much
But gave very little

People cry they are poor,my heart shed tears and say me too
Of a life that poverty has belittle
Hope still breathing,what can it lead to

The joy of living has long flown off
To a height too far to reach
While hope once raised like a mighty wind
Has been let aground like falling leaves.

I have trudged on on this road of life
With clothes thick with dust and thorns
Walking through hopeless desert in search of hope
My mind injury even my leg torn

His thought ejaculated his current state
His thinking, could not couple them
No one wanted to stay
His mind was gasping out, needed air

Of a man who sells cold water on the road
His hope of ever finding wealth or using the ropes
He sells water under the sun
Scared of drinking a sachet,he was selling his hopes

Screaming life why,in wail
Am I going to see tomorrow, he weighed
Thought about finding a million on his way
Poverty hailed

He wanted to be an Engineer then he boast
With situation right now he probably gave up that ghost
Been long I saw that man,now moving with ghosts.



Analysis: Its about a poor man,living in hardship,fighting to survive but then died.



Cc: Llaykorn, texanomaly.