Yesterday, I attended the birthday party of a client’s children. Children, because the celebrants are twins and it was their first birthday. As expected the party was grand, the hosts being successful business people. There was so much to eat and drink and I ended up drinking more than my fair share of champagne and missed the FIFA U-17 finals as a result.

Most of the attendees were women and their children with some reluctant husbands in tow. The housemaids were also present as they came along to help the madams take care of the kids. I couldn’t help observing that most of the house maids looked unkempt. You could easily spot a house maid from her shabby dressing, hair and sad look. The madams and their children on the hand look well dressed, glowing and happy.

My thoughts began to wonder on all the negatives I have read about house maids and I tried relating it to their psychology and state of mind. Is the evil they perpetrate as a result of the way they are being treated? The case in Kenya where a house maid was seriously abusing her employer’s child oblivious of a video recorder came readily to mind. This would probably never have been discovered until irreparable damage had been done to the child. How many parents actually put control measures to monitor activities of their maids? This should be a story for another day to avoid digressing.

Imagine working at a firm where you are underpaid despite being very productive. In addition your employer abuses you regularly and makes you feel unimportant or valued. Our normal reaction will be to find ways of getting back at the organization for being ungrateful. Cutting corners, sabotaging their interests and eventually resigning our appointment when we have had enough. On the other hand if you are being recognized by the organization for your modest contribution or effort, you will want to give your best to it.

This same scenario plays out itself when we hire maids with the responsibility of taking care of our families and homes. They will eventually take out the ill-treatment or good care on our children and our families as that is the law of reciprocity. Even bad people need a reason to perpetrate evil without one will find it more difficult. Putting yourself in the place of your maids is a good way to start. If places were reversed and you suddenly found yourself as the maid, will you be happy with the way you are being treated at home?

Most women are afraid that if their maids are well treated, they would become too attractive and distract their husbands. Some believe that it will make them grow wings and become uncontrollable. A promiscuous husband will always be promiscuous either with a maid or someone else. I belief it is better to send away a maid who has been treated fairly but keeps misbehaving, than treating her harshly as a control mechanism. This is because they have access to your house, your children and family and could easily strike where it hurts most.

In conclusion, always remember the Golden rule “Do to others as you would have them do to you” “You reap what you sow”

Why women do this, I can't understand....

It takes a woman with a pure heart to treat her maid as equal with her kids.



Women treat ur maids well, men, pls stop sleeping with the maids, its disgusting

Life most times is give and take ..
My friend treats her Cotonou house-help as a mini-god and the house-help treats the children as mega-gods..
She has everything an adult needs to be comfortable, she couldn't learn her handiwork cos she wanted to learn photography and no training center around them..
If her baby cries, before she lazily gets out of bed, the lady is already with the baby...
The children are always clean, the house tidy, she is super-respectful
After 2 years with her she could not come back from Cotonou after her yearly vacation and she wanted to send her sister over but my friend refused cos she felt she could manage alone..

Uptil date the babe still calls her to check on the children.
In a nutshell, treat them well and have rest of mind..

You are right OP. Women degrade, maltreat and humiliate their helps just cos they want to keep their hubbies. Sick and insecured wives!!!!!

Truer words have never been spoken...


You really missed a great match though.

favoured234:
Life most times is give and take ..
My friend treats her Cotonou house-help as a mini-god and the house-help treats the children as mega-gods..
She has everything an adult needs to be comfortable, she couldn't learn her handiwork cos she wanted to learn photography and no training center around them..
If her baby cries, before she lazily gets out of bed, the lady is already with the baby...
The children are always clean, the house tidy, she is super-respectful
After 2 years with her she could not come back from Cotonou after her yearly vacation and she wanted to send her sister over but my friend refused cos she felt she could manage alone..

Uptil date the babe still calls her to check on the children.
In a nutshell, treat them well and have rest of mind..

@the bold is the exact experience my younger sister had with her maid. The girl was made a member of the family and she only left when it was time to go get married.

Her stay in my sister's house was a blessing to us all and she too had the time of her life there.

summary, treat your house helps nicely so you can have peace of mind.