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Exciting Job Opportunities In The Niger Delta! by fransois2(m): 9:29am On May 21, 2009
Enjoy Laugh Aloud





This job is good for you.



Please apply!


Exciting Job Opportunities in the Niger Delta

Our client, a Niger Delta Militant Group with branches in strategic locations throughout all the six South-South states of Nigeria is seeking to expand its operations to Abuja , the Federal Capital territory. This expansion has brought about vacancies for qualified and experienced young officers. The positions are:

Area Head, Kidnapping:

The successful applicant who will report to the Executive Council, and the Executive Director, Abuja , is expected to possess the following competencies:

1) Minimum of 10 years experience in militant agitation. (Membership of Al-qaeda, Hamas or other similar organisation will be an added advantage).

2) Fluent knowledge of Hausa, Ijaw, English, Italian and German.

3) Expert ability to distinguish between Oyinbos and Albinos.

4) Ability to swim in deep waters.

5) Ability to recognise fake/marked naira notes by sight.

6) Ability to easily recognise all Senators and Ministers of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.

Evidence of previous successful kidnap of BIG MEN must be provided (pictures preferable).

Photographer:

1) Minimum of 5 years experience taking photos in war zones. (Domestic fights do not qualify as war zones for these purposes).

2) Proficiency in the use of explosives as camera lighting.

3) Knowledge of the different skin tones of expatriates, as an aid to taking high-quality pictures, is a must.

4) Proficiency in the use of Adobe Photoshop, and Internet photo uploading software is a must.

Please include a portfolio of previous photo-samples (must contain kidnapped persons OR be taken in war-zones OR be nightshots in blackspots like Oshodi,3rd Mainland bridge, Apongbon, etc).

Militant Trainee:

1) Candidates must be between the ages of 13 and 50, be at least 4m tall, and may be male or female.

2) Minimum of Nursery School/Kindergarten certificate.

3) Jobless university graduates, and serving policemen will be given special consideration.

4) Possession of jungle boots and face mask is a must.

5) Preference will be given to persons with knowledge of foreign European languages, and persons with the ability to swim.

Renumeration:

Very attractive, competitive, and comparable with industry standards (payments in foreign currencies).

Official guns, boats and grenades will be provided.

Excellent training, involving offshore secondment ( Iraq , Afghanistan etc) from time to time

Regular appearance on CNN, Alaaroye, Time Magazine, The Economist and other International magazines.

Excellent networking opportunities with Nigerian politicians, oil magnates, and foreign businessmen.

Interested applicants should forward their applications and detailed curriculum militiae within two weeks to:

militant_recruitment@OsamaConsulting.com

Pls recommend somebody or yourself.

Best regards





reconcilliation warriors.
Re: Exciting Job Opportunities In The Niger Delta! by Ben13: 9:30am On May 21, 2009
dickele male must apply cheesy
Re: Exciting Job Opportunities In The Niger Delta! by Naijagirly(f): 9:33am On May 21, 2009
shocked
Re: Exciting Job Opportunities In The Niger Delta! by Kx: 9:38am On May 21, 2009
Naijagirly:

shocked
Naijagirl,why d shock?
Is this not the most vibrant sector with over 1million % ROI in Nigeria's booming oil industry today?
I think it makes "brain" to employ the teeming unemployed ,besides its a juicy oil industry job.
Re: Exciting Job Opportunities In The Niger Delta! by fransois2(m): 9:39am On May 21, 2009
It is the hottest cake in the market.  grin
Re: Exciting Job Opportunities In The Niger Delta! by Ben13: 10:09am On May 21, 2009
and you happen to be the renowned CEO
Re: Exciting Job Opportunities In The Niger Delta! by sylve11: 4:05pm On May 21, 2009
cool
Re: Exciting Job Opportunities In The Niger Delta! by Naijagirly(f): 5:44pm On May 21, 2009
Kx:

Naijagirl,why d shock?
Is this not the most vibrant sector with over 1million % ROI in Nigeria's booming oil industry today?
I think it makes "brain" to employ the teeming unemployed ,besides its a juicy oil industry job.
I think the poster just found a suitable applicant.@ Kx abeg apply but no forget 2 write ur will and make me the sole beneficiary;no worry I go dey pray for u grin
Re: Exciting Job Opportunities In The Niger Delta! by dani1luv: 5:51pm On May 21, 2009
smiley
Poster wink
Re: Exciting Job Opportunities In The Niger Delta! by fransois2(m): 6:39pm On May 21, 2009
@dani1luv cool
Re: Exciting Job Opportunities In The Niger Delta! by Ben13: 7:37pm On May 21, 2009
see kolo for here o

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