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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum (23873 Views)
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Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by Nobody: 12:44pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
raayah: I am not married but I can see why it may be so. This finding does not disprove the fact that one parent will do more on the home front than the other. Regardless of what the research says, I believe women should be left to decide what is best for them. 1 Like |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by raayah(f): 12:46pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
The only problem I have is that Onegai is talking about the privileged (Rich) and well-educated women who become SAHM. These women know and have the resources to train their children. In the U.S, there is a lot of support for homeschooled children, they have their own syllabus and have various programs to assist them. We all know that the average Nigerian woman works (mostly self-employed), but the few in-betweens who are full time SAHM's do not have the capability and resources to train her Child. Like Mindfulness asked, How will they write WAEC or NECO with all the various experiments you have to do especially in Physical science subjects. It's not easy for a non-professional to teach even basic physics. You have great examples of women in your post but I don't think they represent the average pool of SAHM's in Nigeria. However, If a woman want's to be a SAHM, go ahead, no restrictions, if she wants to work, no restriction . Both women have it equally hard. 6 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by damiso(f): 2:26pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
Why is there an inference on this thread that stay at home mum equals home schooling? Few children are home schooled. Onegai's point was more about the fact that a stay at home mum has more disposable time to impart further knowledge that might not be covered extensively one on one in the school curricula.There is only a percentage of stay at home parents who actually home school their children. Not too sure about home schooling though because I feel education is not just academics but also preparing children on how to interact with others/social skills etc etc .funny enough was going to start a thread on the issue of home schooling just never came round to it. I belong to a parent and teacher educational page on FB where someone posed the question but he was talking more of hiring actual qualified teachers on a salary that would more or less be the same costs that you would pay in most Naija private schools.His argument was at Least the child would be getting one on one tutoring. I thought it was an interesting idea and something that had existed in aristocratic England i.e hiring governesses. Like I said I have always been of the opinion that the constant comparison is not necessary. I feel both sets have different challenges and none actually have it easy especially for those who have their children as their utmost priority. I would know cos I have been both. And contrary to what is touted on NL, I was actually more tired on some days when i was home than now when I work full time. Get rid of the stereotype ,not all stay at home moms spend all their day gossiping and getting fat. 2 Likes |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by Onegai(f): 2:35pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
damiso: Thank you. I'm not saying stay home and teach your kids. And like you, I am MORE exhausted staying home with Baby E daily (there is no boss on earth as absorbed and demanding as a baby. No-one is THAT cray-cray ) Hmm, I'm intrigued by the idea of hiring qualified teachers and home-schooling. Because for all the millions spent on school fees in this Nigeria, more than half of them are not the top performers compared to their peers when Nigeria is being judged on the International market (chances are an ex-FGC schoolkid will outperform the almighty Corona schoolkid). 1 Like |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by damiso(f): 2:42pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
Onegai: I know right looking for ways to constantly engage and entertain a toddler or baby is the most exhausting thing everrr. Now I eat my lunch in peace and can decide not to even talk to anyone outside of work stuff for a whole day as I type I have answered over 50 questions today. I was also intrigued by the suggestion as well. But I feel it's a bit more workable at primary level than at secondary school where subject areas get more streamlined and specialist. 1 Like |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by Nobody: 5:44pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
raayah:onegai, what have you to say about this post? |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by Aceed: 9:25pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
Onegai: See better woman sha... A woman that will not give her husband hassles in hopeless conditions despite her class... But you go wicked ooo |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by Nobody: 10:58pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
raayah:e Hi Rayah. Me I am all for a working mother ooo. I stayed at home far too long and it can be quite counter productive with regards to teaching kids. It just all becomes too much, small children can drive you up the wall. I certainly could never do home schooling. I am just not good at teaching children. I get frustrated almost immediately. Now that they have started school full time, I am able to reinforce what they have learnt at school as they have taught them, we just need to practice at home. When I went for a meeting at school regarding teaching them phonics and how to read, it just seemed like , OMG, I don't remember anyone doing all this long thing with me, I don't remember how I learned to read . But really it is such a tough juggling act with having enough time with the kids. Im starting work soon and I am so torn that I will not be spending so much time with them. Someone else will be picking and dropping off in school. I am soo worried about how they will cope. When I get back its just to bath them and bed . I dunno. Ill just have to give them all my attention at the weekend. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by enigmatique(m): 11:00pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
Mindfulness:You're very welcome bro. I guess the lesson for all of us is to make our educational proficiency to be the foundation from which our children start their own studies. I'll try and look out for that thread of yours, that I will. Especially pray it will hit FP. |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by Nobody: 11:01pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
fem29: Fem dear, have faith in your kids, they will do well and they have your support, just be sensitive to their moods so that they can confide in you when something bothers them. You will soon spend less time with them but the time you will make out for them will be quality time. |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by Nobody: 11:02pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
enigmatique: You are welcome. I won't do it today because I am too lazy now and still thinking whether to go out or not. See ya soon. 1 Like |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by cococandy(f): 11:04pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
raayah:I think it's subjective. Personally I'm for working a mom. Not that I think being a stay home mom will dampen the female offsprings ambitions like insinuated in the OP. |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by Nobody: 11:05pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
Mindfulness: Thanks soo much . I will admit I worry a lot. I don't have a support system so it's all on me. It's a lot |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by Nobody: 11:11pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
fem29: Most mothers worry a lot but it is good to have some faith too. |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by Nobody: 11:11pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
Mindfulness: Danke |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by ayinba1(f): 11:14pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
This is an interesting topic. The conclusion of the study defined earning power and career success, but what is the true measure of success? When a family is able to effectively answer this question, the decision to be a SAHM over career mom will be made. @ Edited @mindfulness. Working moms and SAHMs are great when they care for their kids and show it. Sometimes, necessity drives ambition. But you cannot have it all. As a working mom, (depends again on your appointment-full time, part time, ) you may not be able to create some experiences for your children even with the best effort. Time is never regained, never. I am a full time and a half working mom. I have absolute respect for both working moms and SAHMs who care for their children and show it; Each family must define success and go for it! So if one agrees with the conclusions of the study and defines success as the above, one could very well choose that path, if possible. It is however incomplete without data on the down side of both options (SAHM vs WM). Hope it's not more confusing. English is my 2nd language |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by Nobody: 11:16pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
ayinba1: Elaborate. |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by ayinba1(f): 11:27pm On Nov 21, 2015 |
Mindfulness:Revised^ |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by Pidggin(f): 7:11am On Nov 22, 2015 |
I still don't understand why a woman will want to be a SAHM, it's not even an African culture, most of our ancestors were farmers or involved in something productive. |
Re: I Guess This Is One Of The Reasons My Wife Must Not Be A Stay At Home Mum by Nobody: 8:53pm On Nov 24, 2015 |
I had come to worry about those women who were full-time mothers and homemakers by choice. Did other, more career-minded women have the right to devalue them . . . ? Maybe it was time to slow down and look at the role restrictions imposed not only on women but the men around them, to search for the balance that could promote self-sufficiency . . . |
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