Griiiiiinnn, the phone rang. One need to see the way I ran out of the bathroom with all the soapy water on my body and a piece of towel. I thought it was one of the places I went for an interview some past weeks. I thought they were calling to tell me congratulations, that I have passed their interview and I have been hired. Only for me to check the the phone and the number calling, it was one of my elder sisters. I became vexed. I felt like not picking the call. I ignored it and went back to the bathroom to finish taking my bath. But trust Aunty Buchi nah. She won’t just stop. She kept on calling till I finally picked after 6 missed calls. “Where have you been that you didn’t see my call,” she shouted, as if I was a small boy working for his Oga in a welding factory. Immediately I heard that, na so my head swear. Chaiiii, that is the kind of thing you get when you are unemployed and still begging your siblings money for survival. E come look as if say I own aunty buchi to answer her call.
“Aunty I dey bathroom na im make I no pick your call,” I replied sluggishly. She told me there was this friend of hers that told her their company in Abuja was recruiting. So I should prepare my things and come down to Abuja in the next three days time. See as she just dey talk am as if say she be commando in the army division of my life. I told her that I don’t have much money to travel down to Abuja, perhaps I wasn’t ready, she should give me some time. “Do you want a job or not?” she shouted at me, “Or you just want to sit down look. You better look for money and come, I will give you when you arrive. Bye.” Na so she hang phone. I just wondered, the aunty buchi I grew up with was not like this, but since she got married to military man, na so things change. I guessed Col. Chinedu has turned her to another thing.
Three days later, I arranged my things and off I went to Abuja at my sister’s place. And this period, the 2015 elections were fast approaching. Aunty buchi briefed me about the job. It was an insurance company.
The next day, I had already repackage my CV. Aunty buchi’s friend had earlier given me a note to go along with. She referred me t o somebody in the company.
Na so I waka reach there. They told me that indeed they were vacancies but the job positions were not meant for HND holders like us. That one come become wahala. Na so I call my sister and she called that her friend. Finally, they accepted my CV. but i wasn’t yet sure, maybe they threw it away after I left, I don’t know. I waited for days and weeks but yet no call or text. My sister had earlier told me not to go back to Owerri. That I should stay back in Abuja. Na so I begin find work ooo. But I desired a Government work which I believed would give me rest of mind. Couple of friends encouraged me. Though it would be stressful because its election period. That after the election and swearing in, things would get better, jobs go boku.
Elections came and gone. We thanked God it was successful and new administration was coming in so many would be laid off and many would be hired. They did the swearing in.
My sister came back from work one evening. She was talking about one of their church members who won a seat at the federal house of Representatives. The man gave thanks giving at their church that past Sunday and he said youths that youths in the church that are looking for job should prepare because he and his other colleagues would be employing aids. My sister turned to me and was like, “Abi uno fit work as P.A for senator?” she asked. Who no like better thing! Why won’t I want to be a Personal assistant if it was possible! As I hear that one, I was so happy. My sister said she has heard from couple of friends that some of their family members are aids to some of the lawmakers, that some of those top politicians pay up to N200,000 per month to their P.As and some other aids. She said she knows a notable senator who gives his P.A N5,000 just for feeding for a day. Abeg wetin I wan chop wey I go spend N5,000 for food for a day. Abi I wan finish the whole food wey dey the restaurant! Na so I tell my aunty say I go follow her go their church that coming Sunday. Their church wey be say I never set their foot to since wey I enter Abuja. Well, we dey look for work, so I have to go to their church.
Since that day till the Sunday, na so so dream I dream. When I sleep, I would always dream of seeing myself carrying a bag for a notable politician. I dream of being a P.A.
I followed my sister to their church hoping to even see the politician, but I didn’t see him. My sister said maybe he travelled out of the country that was why we didn’t see him. Wetin I wan even see the man for! Not that I will even go and talk with him.
After the church service, before people started rushing out, they made an announcement that people looking for a job, that the politician has asked that they should put down their names on the paper they were circulating. Come see as people they rush go their. I no know say Government work, being a P.A dey very lucrative like that. Most especially young ladies. I considered some of the ladies so classy and beautiful, even the kind of shows, heels they were wearing, I never knew they were jobless as they rushed to go put down their names. Me sef no shame ooo. My sister urged me to go put down my name. chaiiii, but this na to spoil business for people. Because 70% of the youths wrote down their names. I began wondering whether my dream of becoming a P.A would be a reality! Because people too plenty. Can this Honourable give every of us job! The ladies were much.
When we were going from the church, my sister said I shouldn’t mind some of the people rushing out and putting down their names. She said some of them have jobs oo. So why dem come dey write name nah. She said maybe some wants to work with politicians, dem wan change job and status. They want to eat political money. She even talked about one of the ladies who is a banker but went to write down her name.

http://hovabuzz.com/frontline/1047-my-job-adventure-at-the-national-assembly

I wasn’t just keeping calm, I kept on going to my sister’s church. I kept on pressurizing her to help me get in contact with some top politicians who are members of the church. Infact, that my sister church, has top CEOs, Director generals of big companies. And I kept on wondering if those kind of people attends that church, some people in the church shouldn’t be unemployed. My sister sef no dey help matters at all. I told her to help me tell those big men for their church if they can find somewhere to fix me in were they work. She doesn’t want to do it. Life is a game of race. Everyone go run him own race. That was why I just got angry one Sunday like that after the church service. I approached one of the women leader in the church. I heard she works in National Assembly. Na so I go meet her ooo. I told her I was looking for job. She told me to come to the National Assembly the next two days. I confidently asked for her number so when I come I could meet with her, because I heard the NASS complex is so large. She gave me her mobile number to reach her. As she dey call am, I just type the thin, save am.
One of my sister’s friend, Ijeoma had earlier told me she would be going to the National Assembly to look for Job. I.J as my sister fondly call her is one girl that can do anything to get what she wants. This is a lady that is into baking. She bakes cakes, meat pie and all that. And supplies them to big restaurants. According to my sister, Ij makes up to N25,000 profit from her business. She was deep into it. And she wan go find NASS job or P.A to senator.
Two days later, Ij called me that she had already prepared and she was on her way to our house. Me sef don dey prepare finish. Na so Ij land for my house. She came with a friend of her she said her name is Nkoli. Looking at both them, one won’t believe they are just going to look for a job. The clothes they were putting on. The suit and the shoes. I do follow my sister to do her shopping. So I am familiar with female clothings and pricing. Kaiiii, the suit wey nkoli and Ij wear, they may be up to N40,000 each. With their heels. ‘Mehn if they could afford something like that, why are they looking for job sef,’ I thought to myself. I felt intimidated by their dressing. I thought to myself, “If any of us had a car, we for no trek go NASS.. we go just enter car zoom off.”
As we entered the bus going to Berger from Bwari. You need to see the way people inside the bus were looking at Ij and nkoli. Person wey see them no go know say dem wan go look for job. He would think they work in big companies and they are on their way to work. Na so me sit down je-jely and we move.
We got to NASS complex at about 10:39am. That would be my first time of going there, but not nkoli and Ij as I was told. Abeg come and see people, unemployed ooo. I began wondering. So this are the people I am going to be dragging the post of P.A with! At first I even thought there was an interview going on before Ij started gisting me that the reason why we are there is also the reason they came. Everybody dey find job. Dem wan be P.A, secretary or aides to Lawmakers. I was told that as new lawmakers are being inaugurated at the NASS, aids of former ones have been laid off while the new lawmakers would be needing aids. Na im make people just full there say dem wan be aid. Fear come begin catch me. With all that number of people, do I even have a chance! ‘Infact the ladies, now I know’ I thought o myself. The way IJ dressed, infact most of the ladies even dressed in a more and sophifisticated clothes that I began wondering if they came for a coperate fashion show. Their clothes were so expensive that I wondered if they were really unemployed. Who give them the money wey dem take dey buy those expensive clothes wey them wear. Give me the money and I will go start a good business. At a time I began to check the people I was greeting because so many that dressed so beautifuly, one might think they work there, but dem just come look for work like me.
I have been distracted by what I was seeing instead of focusing on the job I came there to look for. As I was busy admiring the dresses some people wore, I immediately remembered that the woman at the church that gave me her number. That was the main reason I came. I called the woman’s phone number and it was telling me it’s switched off. This one na wahala. The worst part of it was that I kept on trying for like an hour the phone was switched off.but na she tell me make I call her dat day oo, now the line is switched off. “Then what was I hear for nah,” I thought to myself. Ij and her friend don waka comot, I no know where dem enter. na so I stand for there dey look. I saw Ij with one man coming to my direction. They came to where I was and she introduced me to the man. She said the man works in that NASS. Na so the man come begin insult me jokingly. He said I was too dull. That if I was really in need, I would have been doing what my mates where doing, I just stood there and was looking as if NASS is a museum. “Na look you come look?” he ask. I managed to laugh as Ij laughed too. He tolod Ij not to worry that immediately after the inauguration of law makers, he would help us get a job. “No worry yourself, you go get job,” he said. Before leaving after joking and chatting with Ij, he turned to me, “and you Mr, try to mingle, enter inside, collect people numbers.” He said normally that some lawmakers go through them to get aids. “Sometimes na we dey help dem, dem go beg us make we help them find better people wey go be their secretary or P.A,” he said. He said I should move around and interact with workers of the NASS. After leaving, me sef agree say I dey dull myself. Ij even said it that she has collected over 7 contacts that works in that NASS, they can help her get a job. In as much I was dulling myself, I was trying to be careful because I no wan trouble. One treats political jobs “Critical.”

http://hovabuzz.com/frontline/1047-my-job-adventure-at-the-national-assembly

But one thing I came to realize was that, some of the ladies who came there, many of them have ulterior motives. They are not genuinly looking for a job. Some wants connection with politicians, some wants to be second wives, some side chick/bedmates. Some na runs ooo. Because when we were leaving after I managed to submit my CV to one of the women who promised to help me, some ladies who I saw that came to look for job. Some of them have cars. I saw them driving out of the premises. Some even parked outside the gate. No be just ordinary car ooo. This one na better car o.
Few days later, the woman I gave my CV at NASS called me. She said a job was ready for me at NASS. I asked him the kind of job it was. She said I should come first to NASS.
The next day I went to NASS and met the woman and she told me that lawmaker was looking for someone that would work as secretary in her new company. See as my face brighten up as I hear that one. But she said I should pay N200,000 and that the job was sure. After paying to her, she would just help me work it out. Kaiiiii, me pay N200k to get job. Chaiii, were I fit get that kind money! And she said I should up up in the next one week or she would allocate the slot to another person, and infact many are willing to take it. And this woman na just cleaner for NASS, but her own cleaner na “Cleaner with a difference.” She has one small sports car. Infact NASS job is very lucrative. I told her I would get back to her.
When I called Ij, she said I should look for money to pay. Na so I ask if she fit borrow me, she said she doesn’t have anything in her account and that I should tell my sister. I told my sister, she too tell me say money no dey. I assumed that its not the will of God to get the job. Na so I remove my mind from the job. I applied for another job as a Geography teacher in one big school in Maitama. Thank God say dem call me. Na there I come dey work now. The pay is okay.

http://hovabuzz.com/frontline/1047-my-job-adventure-at-the-national-assembly

Interesting story. Could have been better if it was well arranged.

Nice story but poorly organised.

Dahveydson:
Interesting story. Could have been better if it was well arranged.

The guy no be Wole Soyinka... How else do u want d write-up to be? HISS

. I've had a good laugh... lol. That part where you said some ladies came with ulterior motives cracked me up.

Onis you really experience something, but then, this idea of paying someone to get a job is somewhat funny. If you had 200,000 will you be looking for a job as Secretary?

BTW I chose a smiley, God help this post. May there be no duplication of words. Amen... lol

amicable09:
. I've had a good laugh... lol. That part where you said some ladies came with ulterior motives cracked me up.

Onis you really experience something, but then, this idea of paying someone to get a job is somewhat funny. If you had 200,000 will you be looking for a job as Secretary?

BTW I chose a smiley, God help this post. May there be no duplication of words. Amen... lol

forget ooo. some people can romance your head to believe they can help you.

onismate:
forget ooo. some people can romance your head to believe they can help you.

That's right. Anyway, you've got a job at least - teaching, congrats.

I read it.. I love it.. I enjoyed it
OP can be a good writer.. U have the talent.. Don't waste it

Lol

God bless ur hustle ...

Very interesting story

Haha. Lol.

The story at some points got me laughing but it was a nice, lengthy but interesting piece. Thank God u later found somewhere, had u paid that money,me for dey vex for u!! .. ..

Very interesting story. Learnt my lessons from ur narrative.