If extroverts learn to be more patient with introverts around them, win their trust and allow them to be, life will be better for it.

The most talented people on earth are introverts. They think deeper thoughts and come out with important information, especially creative ones. But they need a non-threatening environment or boss to operate.

To an extrovert and even fellow introverts, they are slow-- slow to learn tasks (requiring repetition of instructions), slow to act (requiring time and not functioning well in emergencies). They can be forgetful (requiring well outlined steps to perform and they perform better in routine environments).

These characteristics are not weaknesses, they only spell out what conditions introverts are designed to operate in. They need extrovert HELP (not insult) when situations change. However, an extrovert boss find these attributes very frustrating. He or she thinks it is just normal to think fast, act fast and speak quickly. No. That's the description of extroverts and they also spell out the environment they are designed to operate in.

Introverts can be easily hurt and spend productive time thinking over hurtful experiences like being rebuked by their boss. You can actually get a better response from introverts when you let them know you understand them and that you are willing to put them through any difficulty they face in performing their duties and then point out mistakes you've noticed and how they can correct them.

Usually because introverts, especially the Melancholies, are thoughtful, before you identify there errors they already have. Mistakes are usually what Mels don't like because they are perfectionists. MELs don't need your anger because they are already very angry with themselves. If it an error they didn't detect or know about, this is even worse because they don't like people detecting their mistakes. So they actually need comforting words not to worry about their mistakes and focus on correcting it rather than being insulted or , worse still being publicly rebuked.

Extroverts think faster but less deep thoughts. Unfortunately- especially the high energy, go-getting cholerics- they think they are always right. Having and listening to introverts in your team can save your business billions of dollars if you know how to handle how they think. Melancholics can easily detect errors or possible disadvantages or risks in an idea not originating from them. While Phlegmatics will be SHOUTING great ideas in their minds- they need GREAT encouragement to speak up.

Allow and specifically encourage the Mels to spill out the downs of your great ideas.

Instead of feeling threatened by the watchdown, just take the issues back to the idea-fractory and make it better. Never ignore the advise of a Mel although you may not act on it. (They usually speak like: "You shouldn't go ahead with this idea because..." Just turn it to, "Go ahead with this idea but iron out this issue first as much as possible."

Phlegs need privacy and lots of time. Ask them for ideas and find out their opinion in private otherwise you will get more "No response" than you wish to pay for. They also needs reassurance that they will not be hurt by your response even if they said something stupid. Actually, Phlegs won't allow you to hurt them twice. They withdraw into their shell. You will do extra work to bring them out again. However, they are the stability your company needs. Usually very reliable, happy people so don't let your temper scare them away. Although slow, they are solid and strong.

Cc Lalasticlacla

wonderful .... write up from an introvert
this is kind of things we ought tu be reading here.... and not.... u know na

My boss needs to read this..

Always shouting down your opinions or whatever one has to say once it doesn't align with her thoughts. Quick to remind you of the fact that she got many merit awards in the civil service.

So I just got fed up with the "you know nothing", "I wonder the type of graduate you are" "You don't have a teachable spirit" etc. and decided to agree to everything she says or keep quiet.

Obviously she enjoys the drama of arguing and shouting people down when they try to state their case (perhaps only that way proves she's the boss to her), because the week that followed my withdrawal wasn't funny.

"You're angry", "You have girl issues. Leave girls and face your work", "At my age I know when a child is having grudges" etc are few of the things she said in a bid to break my shell.. I didn't even argue with her, but in my head I was I don tire to fight you madam

Nitefury:
My boss needs to read this..

Always shouting down your opinions or whatever one has to say once it doesn't align with her thoughts. Quick to remind you of the fact that she got many merit awards in the civil service.

So I just got fed up with the "you know nothing", "I wonder the type of graduate you are" "You don't have a teachable spirit" etc. and decided to agree to everything she says or keep quiet.

Obviously she enjoys the drama of arguing and shouting people down when they try to state their case (perhaps only that way proves she's the boss to her), because the week that followed my withdrawal wasn't funny.

"You're angry", "You have girl issues. Leave girls and face your work", "At my age I know when a child is having grudges" etc are few of the things she said in a bid to break my shell.. I didn't even argue with her, but in my head I was I don tire to fight you madam

I can say with a level of certainty that she is insecure. If she faces and deals with her insecurities she may become one of the best bosses anyone could have.

Godsfamilymemba:


I can say with a level of certainty that she is insecure. If she faces and deals with her insecurities she may become one of the best bosses anyone could have.

I wouldn't exactly say she's insecure. But I think her growing up, past working career and bosses all played lots of roles in how she relates with her staff today. More like she's from an era where you are expected to be a yes man or something of that sort to your superiors.

She's a sweet boss actually and truly knows the job in truth.

But I just wish she'll hear me (and my colleagues) out once in a while.

Nitefury:


I wouldn't exactly say she's insecure. But I think her growing up, past working career and bosses all played lots of roles in how she relates with her staff today. More like she's from an era where you are expected to be a yes man or something of that sort to your superiors.

She's a sweet boss actually and truly knows the job in truth.

But I just wish she'll hear me (and my colleagues) out once in a while.

Well, you may be right. She is your boss.

Nitefury:


I wouldn't exactly say she's insecure. But I think her growing up, past working career and bosses all played lots of roles in how she relates with her staff today. More like she's from an era where you are expected to be a yes man or something of that sort to your superiors.

She's a sweet boss actually and truly knows the job in truth.

But I just wish she'll hear me (and my colleagues) out once in a while.

You may definitely be right, after all you've been with her for a while and I haven't. However, those things you said play a part in how she relates with her staff can also play a role in her measure of sense of internal security.

Insecure people are not necessarily bad people. They may be sweet naturally until there is an encroachment into their "secure space". The reaction you get is of a truly threatened person who however knows there are available weapons to pull out. It's an unacknowledged battle driven by fear rather than by objectivity. That's why, I guess, you feel the impact the way you do.

Many other people who came from that era and her good listeners and even go out of their way to ask for help.

I really wish she could read this like you said, she may be fighting an unacknowledged battle that is better dealt with if she becomes aware of it.

You described classical symptoms of insecurity and inferiority complex (everybody needs to work on this at some point) in people who are supposed to be superiors-- as it is seen in extroverts.

Do you have a forum (or can one be created) where someone can be invited to speak on Organizational Success Through Effective Internal Communication? If I'm invited, I'll be glad to come. Mental health in the work place is very important for both staff and management. I don't like seeing staff having issues about their workplace but the management they are not pleased with may also need help.