Got married two years ago to a now 34year old man, and I am 26. Met him through my mum when he came into the country 3years ago, so we dated for about 9months. We got married but he had to remain in canada while I stayed back.


Truth be told, I never loved him. He's rich, okay-looking, charming and all but I just do not love him. I married him cos I kinda saw him as a clean slate, a chance to start anew cos I have lived life, done things that I am not proud of, gotten heart broken. And I just don't want kids with a man I do not love. They say u can fall in love after marriage but not here, I just admire my husband.

Hubby comes home in December and stays through to february. I kept d pills in an empty bottle of multivitamins but never thought he'ld look closely at d inscriptions on the tablets cos I had gotten away with it the past years. No one has been on my neck about getting pregnant though.


He was so angry I thought he'ld throw me out that night. He's been sleeping in d guests', doesn't eat my food, he says I am a selfish and wicked woman. I'm sooooo scared he'll call my parents, I'll just die.


Do I just walk out now and risk my parents knowing what really happend? Will I find such a gentle man again? Do I get pregnant? will I love my kids? He's such a wonderful man but I don't love him!!!



PS: I never cheated on him

To be honest, what you did wasn't good at all...

First thing first, ask for God forgiveness.

Secondly, ask your hubby for forgiveness.

Thirdly, throw away tablets.

Fourthly, get pregnant and learn to love your husband thereafter. During your pregnancy, your hubby may show more signs of love towards you and the upcoming baby that you may fall in love with.

You should have never get married to him since you dont love him from the begining, since you are married you must learn how to love him. Leaving him now may never solve your problem.

Just learn to love. Find one particular thing that you love most in him and start from there.

Finally, pray for God's love in your life and His guidiance towards loving him more.

Ahan han auntie how on earth can u marry someone u don't love nd u ain't even planning on having kids with him some ppl never cease to amaze me, so now what? Re u planning on using contraceptives till u re 40 or u plan on divorcing him wen u av finish admiring him like a new bride?


Now u re asking for advice, wat sort of advice re u expecting ehn? U were suppose to ask for advice before marrying him. Anyway u better open up to him, tell him how u feel nd apologize. Then u make ur marriage work, I don't advice divorce at all so u better start preparing ur mind from now.

YourMain:
To be honest, what you did wasn't good at all...

In case he didn't say it well, then let me say it... U are wicked and selfish#

You are such a funi lady. Even nowadays that husband are very scare des days.

Many ladies nowadays will do anything to have such a man in their life.

Your eyes are not yet open even at your age. You are still leaving in your past m dear.

**Clears throat**

I bet u won't find a tolerant man if u choose to call it quit. Attend marriage seminars. And pls stop thinking abt ur past. Your husband is truly wonderful.

singing*this is super storyyyyyyyyyy a life of strife and sorrow oooooooo

cruzita:
singing*this is super storyyyyyyyyyy
a life of strife and sorrow oooooooo

Eeyaaah! E go better.

greatness22:
Eeyaaah! E go better.

amen oooo

cruzita:
amen oooo

Lolz. So u nor even undastand why i say 'e go beta'

well I hope he throws you out before you ruin his life. you don't deserve him obviously.

Why did you have to build on such a foundation?You didn't have to accept to marry him in the first place.
For how long do you intend to keep using contraceptives?
I think you should give the marriage a chance.Why not move to Canada where he is?

Trendition:

I'm sorry but I won't lie. That was very very selfish. Even if you aren't ready to have a child, he has a say too.

you are already married to this man and it is too late to say you don't love him and don't want to have his kids.it is difficult to come by a good man nowadays.u testified to it.although u didn't give any reason y u can't lean to love him.I would suggest u throw away the drugs then u go and beg him.even if of means to roll on the floor,cry promise him etc.then u can seduce him and begin the process of making babies.u can even go ahead to baby things to show him that you are changed.you can tell him that u were scared and weren't sure u wanted to have kids yet.apologise for not telling him. goodluck

Its only normal He'd be angry. what u did was really selfish as u never thought of how it affects him.
Maybe he's been praying endlessly for a child. u really need to sit him down and discuss things with him and u both have to compromise and reach an agreement.
Decision on whether or not to have a child is not something to make on ur own.
I wouldn't even blame him if he throws u out and gets another wife cos u betrayed the trust.

If you got married in church I'm assuming your vows included "I agree to accept children from the lord" and you said "I do".
Just judge yourself if what you're doing is alright.

Why not talk to him about relocating to come meet you or you go meet him. Once you start living together, who knows you may most likely begin to love him. The distance is the biggest barrier in your marriage. And ever since you got married you guys haven't got to know each other that well. How can you love him.
Did you guys even have a plan before now. Or was it for him to come back get you pregnant and go back to his base while you live as a single mom seeing him only once a year?

Y'all need to talk about how you intend to go about building a family. Getting pregnant is just the beginning of it. There's so much more.

Meanwhile do all you can to obtain his forgiveness because one can't blame him now if he doesn't trust you or feels you're not in with him for the long haul.

greatness22:
Lolz. So u nor even undastand why i say 'e go beta'

I no wan know wetin u mean as long u talk beta tin

cruzita:
I no wan know wetin u mean as long u talk beta tin

Lolz, nah beta tin dear. Was jst joking.

quindebbie:
you are already married to this man and it is too late to say you don't love him and don't want to have his kids.it is difficult to come by a good man nowadays.u testified to it.although u didn't give any reason y u can't lean to love him.I would suggest u throw away the drugs then u go and beg him.even if of means to roll on the floor,cry promise him etc.then u can seduce him and begin the process of making babies.u can even go ahead to baby things to show him that you are changed.you can tell him that u were scared and weren't sure u wanted to have kids yet.apologise for not telling him. goodluck

Thank u

Wale Adenuga *This life*

so, what should we do and who is supposed to answer the questions?

@Trendition

Did you think you could play the trick with the contraceptives forever?

I think God loves but you don't seem to realise that.

Based on your past, you don't deserve this man!
But then God in his infinite mercy has smiled at you by giving you a second chance to show to you His generosity because there is something about you which you yourself does not seem to appreciate.

Age wise you are 26, but emotionally and intellectually you are far from that age. I am sorry I have to say that to you. My thought though!

What does it take to love?
Right on your palm you have the spec that any woman any day will give their whole life to have.

Now I believe all is not lost. Appeal to him. Beg him as in beg him real well. Show remorse. Tell him you are sorry that you don't know what came over you. Assure him u never cheated on him and you will not. Please mean it not lying.

Moreover I think you need prayer. Not only about this issue I think there is more. Visit this site, it will really be of help. http://www.elishagoodman.org/?p=49741

@trendition ....if u dont want an issue..why cant u leave ...wat sort of wickedness is dis?...u lucky u v a cool man.u re wrong in so many levels. correct ur mistakes asap!!

Too bad of you . you might give him heart attack

..Nkan be!

This is the time to brainwash him.
His being away for so long is taking it toil on you, you wouldn't like to be pregnant and alone when he is always away. Beg and cry ad say it like you mean it.....you bitch!!!.
You've just breach a watertight bro code with your husband, so beg and beg. Wear sackcloth, pot ashes and scream from the roof top for his forgiveness. You tore that guy to shreds by subjecting him into thinking he has been shooting blanks all along. What sort of homo sapiens does that.

Trendition:
Got married two years ago to a now 34year old man, and I am 26. Met him through my mum when he came into the country 3years ago, so we dated for about 9months. We got married but he had to remain in canada while I stayed back.


Truth be told, I never loved him. He's rich, okay-looking, charming and all but I just do not love him. I married him cos I kinda saw him as a clean slate, a chance to start anew cos I have lived life, done things that I am not proud of, gotten heart broken. And I just don't want kids with a man I do not love. They say u can fall in love after marriage but not here, I just admire my husband.

Hubby comes home in December and stays through to february. I kept d pills in an empty bottle of multivitamins but never thought he'ld look closely at d inscriptions on the tablets cos I had gotten away with it the past years. No one has been on my neck about getting pregnant though.


He was so angry I thought he'ld throw me out that night. He's been sleeping in d guests', doesn't eat my food, he says I am a selfish and wicked woman. I'm sooooo scared he'll call my parents, I'll just die.


Do I just walk out now and risk my parents knowing what really happend? Will I find such a gentle man again? Do I get pregnant? will I love my kids? He's such a wonderful man but I don't love him!!!



PS: I never cheated on him

Sorry am going to talk from my opinion here, From this story you are very very wrong, though its your choice and your body. On a second thought you are kinda right so i wunt blame you too much. Still Better to prevent than do worse thing by cheating on your man. You need to apologise to your man asap.
Secondly please and please come out clean with this man and free him and free yourself as well. Whats the point staying married to someone you dont love and dont want to have kids with For the money or what I dont get. You don try sef for 2 years, well i guess its easy for you cause you dont live together,could have been a diffrent story if otherwise.
Go on your kness and beg that man for wasting 2 years of his life due to your selfishness before things get to big for you to handle.
For your own good, invite an elder when telling him, just involve a 3rd party. ** tell him when you 2 are alone at your own risk **