People size you up in seconds, but what exactly are they evaluating?

Harvard Business School professor Amy Cuddy has been studying first impressions alongside fellow psychologists Susan Fiske and Peter Glick for more than 15 years, and has discovered patterns in these interactions.

In her new book, “Presence,” Cuddy says people quickly answer two questions when they first meet you:

Can I trust this person?

Can I respect this person?

Psychologists refer to these dimensions as warmth and competence respectively, and ideally you want to be perceived as having both.

Interestingly, Cuddy says that most people, especially in a professional context, believe that competence is the more important factor. After all, they want to prove that they are smart and talented enough to handle your business.

But in fact warmth, or trustworthiness, is the most important factor in how people evaluate you. “From an evolutionary perspective,” Cuddy says, “it is more crucial to our survival to know whether a person deserves our trust.” It makes sense when you consider that in cavemen days it was more important to figure out if your fellow man was going to kill you and steal all your possessions than if he was competent enough to build a good fire.

Cuddy says MBA interns are often so concerned about coming across as smart and competent that it can lead them to skip social events, not ask for help, and generally come off as unapproachable.

These overachievers are in for a rude awakening when they don’t get the job offer because nobody got to know and trust them as people.

“If someone you’re trying to influence doesn’t trust you, you’re not going to get very far; in fact, you might even elicit suspicion because you come across as manipulative,” Cuddy says.

“A warm, trustworthy person who is also strong elicits admiration, but only after you’ve established trust does your strength become a gift rather than a threat.”


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The saying that goes one man can change the world isn’t just a bluff.
The amount of hate that roams the earth, is unthinkable. The problem I still face with most people is lack of love.

Everybody is about his/her own business forgetting what the person next to you is going through.

People tend to impose their self, belief, way of life, situation or circumstances on others through different forms either forcefully or mischievously, as a result of no love deep within their heart and soul, not knowing the grave effects they bring upon themselves.

People claim to be your friend or family but they act contrary to what they claim.

If everyone practically carries that spirit of love in them and tend to show it, there wouldn’t be any sort of problem in this world. Issues of religion & racism wouldn’t be in existence, even economical or finical crisis.

Everyone is just about their sh*t, one thing we shouldn’t forget is that no matter how great you are, you can also be in difficult situations, and be ready to take karma’s slap.

Everyone has their own challenges, but don’t because of that shy away when you can offer help to someone in need as someone will also render their assistance to you. You can’t do it all alone, everything you have achieved isn’t just by your power, strength, knowledge, and wisdom it was so because you were destined for it, and all can be lost when you don’t show love.

Hate and lack of care can ruin your life in mysterious ways and it’s a fact.

The person you scorned yesterday, might be in the position to help you tomorrow, don’t even look down on any human, no matter what the circumstance or situation is.

People will say, if you can’t beat them join them, F**ck that bullshit, only you can change the world, meaning you are capable of doing anything well or beyond your capacity. Don’t allow your fears pull you back.

If people show you hate, show them love, when you show hate in return it goes to show your level of weakness, show love and don’t stop at it. Your Good deeds will speak for you, even nature will prevail.

Don’t bother if you are being called a fool for it, they are weak and you can make them strong by showing love unconditionally.

When you love unconditionally, it makes you stronger, because you love without any form of expectations.

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