This is the only girl I've ever known. I've never cheated on heri i dedicated my life to her with the aim of living the rest of my life with her .She has also always been faithful to me.we've always done everything together,my parents knows her and they believe i will marry her,and at least her mom knows me.

The problem is that i have completed my youth service for over 2 yrs ,and i have not gotten a job, which means i am not yet financially ready to take the next step.she is currently serving(nysc) and she feels she is more than ready to settle down.

What has even worsened my position is that it turned out that a guy which she dated 4 about 5 months who she was madly in love with is now in the picture .He actually travelled out of the country after graduating the distance actually made them lost contact.allthese happened b4 we met each other.When we met ,it was like love at first sight our love made her forget him. it was so strong that while we were young we went as far as taking a blood oath, but we had to go to a church to break it after lots of advice.But about 2 months ago, he reestablished contact with her with the intent of settling down.She thought she had forgotten him,but she now realised she still has love 4 him.she actually said the love she has for me and him is 50/50 .pls i want u guys to know that her family is also presurising her to make a decision because he was also well known to her family. well i love her so much that i dont know what will happen to me if it does'nt go my way. She has given me some months to achieve something b4 she will make her pick.I am 29 while she is 25yrs .We are appart for now because of her service.but we still talk on phone almost everyday.

pls what do you guys have to say about this.i need your advise

It's quite simple. She does not want you. She wants security, money and status. Those you don't have now, but you will some day.

My advice, let her go. Concentrate on finding something to do. On getting a job or stating your own business. Put your energy into achieving something for yourself. Someone that genuinely loves you, will not leave you now. She'll have your back and stand by you. If you are not man enough for her now, then there is no point in the r'ship.

Sure it will hurt, but guess what, channel all that anger and bitterness energy into getting something for yourself ("bettering" yourself).

Life too short to be worried about a girl. You are 29, that is young. Not to worry, when "pepper" rest for you, you'll have your pick.

All the best!

eh ya dear im soo sorry but biko let me tell u something i finally realized

see when i came to the US, i noticed that the ages which men and women married here were quit close, as opposed to nigeria where a man is almost 20 years older. after thinking true nad true i realized that because of hte hardships in nigeria, young women will always marry older men, they are more stable financially and can support a family. what ur girlfriend is going through is absolutely normal, she loves u trust me, but she cnat wait forever, because o fhow unstable nigeria is u never know, imagine if two yeears from now u got a wonderful job, u folks might even pressur eu into taking a younger wife, not that she will be better or prettier but she will be YOUNGER, its a fact, in the olden days financial problems brought us to give away our young daughters to older richer men, and it is somehting that has passed down from generation to generation, and it sucks because once in a while a relationship like yours comes around and is destroyed because o fhard ship. she probably told u her love is 50/50 becaus she is tryign to let u down slowly,, it seems she has already made her decision, so please u might have to let her go, like i said woman's intuition tells me she still loves u but in life u want no regrets, and as a woman in nigeria, they regret alot. so take care ok goodluck and when u are successful marry a woman who deserves a man like u, not some silly young girl wh odoesnt even know how hard u worked and what u sacrificed to get there, see am 21 and im a second year med student and sometimes these older guys approach me in that manner, u know she's young im a successful man, y will she say no, but i do, because it is depressing to see what our culture is like. mind u i have friends who will jump on them in a herat beat, but everyones experiences are different, so take care, and i fu have to let her go do, when ur own time comes make the right one for u ok. peace bro

i

Absolute love cannot exist without financial security.
If a woman does not respect you because you are financially insecure to take care of her, forget it.
I learnt this lesson long ago.
Its worse in yankee here. If you dont have money or dont have regularised immigration status, all the babes avoid you like the plague.
Come to think of it, I dont blame them I will do exactly the same.

what i'd say it that this girl loves u no doubt. Otherwise she wldnt stick with ur poor ass all this while.
She probably wants to get her life started and needs you to show some responsibility.
And if i were you [which am happy am not ] i'd take up my cross and walk the walk.

Then again, are u ready to settle down now? You better be straight with her

She just use u hold bodi,
now the main man has arrived with ego,owo,kudi,
very hard to resisit.
money kills true love take it or leave it.

not neccessarily in that order

well i really feel you o brother. please don't feel bad about your situation. you will definitely make it in life. i think your girl wants money and security which you can't give to her now. and besides who says marriage should be the next thing on her agenda? she is still serving, why can't she give you 2 more years? does he not need to make a living herself? must she depend on a man?

i bet if the other guy didnt come into the picture, she would never have given you an ultimatum of "being a man or whatever she called it" i am sure she would have been singing a different tune "oh darling, not too worry God will do it", you will get a job"
please channel your efforts towards making your life a better one and not thinking about her. if she truly loves you and she cares deeply for you, she would never have considered the other guy!!!
i think you deserve some one better

Let her go and follow her hearth, Concentrate on achieving ur goals and building urself up, There are so many nice girls coming up and much younger out there.
 Moreover,what were u thinking;that a girl that is abt rounding off from NYSC will not like to settle down as soon as possible??
 If she was still in school,better,but after NYSC,wat else,
No long thing sha,wish her well in her new affair.
cheers

What everyone has said to you so far is absolutely beautiful.

Yeah our womens intuition tells us she still loves you deeply.  and will probably always be in love with you,  just that a woman needs security in a relationship, its very important,

but having said that, if she really loved you she wouldnt leave you just because of money?

think about it.

These are the kind of women that gives us a bad name, .

You don't need her, u may think u do but your God is really watching out for you. If she decides to leave u because of the new/ex boyfriend, she is doing u a big favor because she obviously is looking for money and security not love. And she is only 25, what is the mad rush?

My prayer for her is to do the right thing and stick with you because ur love has been tested over a period of time compared to the guy from Yankee.

I remember my hubby had almost nothing when we met and now we have an extremely successful Computer repair center here in the US Virgin Islands. Thank God i did not write him off when there was nothing. Now there is money but we had love first.

tete jaye ko ma ba jepe, ma tete jaye koba jepe,

Good luck my dear, keep ur absolutely gorgeous head up, do not let anything bring u down.

Happy Holidays everyone.

is she willing build her life with you? if the answer is yes then engage her.

I am in a similar situation. my boyfriend of four years is upset becuase I am pursuing a professional degree in another state and fear that all the
nija guys will snatch me away in Californian which is were I plan to go. He is worried that he is not bouyant enough to marry me before my departure but all am looking for is an engagement that shows me that loves and want to spend the rest of his live with me. Money will always come later.

So if you truely love this chick, ask her to marry you. afterall, wedding can come much later.

by the way, my boy friend instict is sotta correct. I might change my mind when someone else comes along. I mean for 4 years? common! if doesn't ask me to marry him now, he probably wouldn't later.