The first thing you need to have before you are inducted into Linda Ikeji’s commenters hall of fame is an email address, copied into your clipboard as soon the blog’s homepage is loading because you never know which post Linda might decide to end with:

“My dear LIBers, I am giving away a Birkin bag to the 1st, 38th, 118th, 214th and 336th commenter. Drop your email address. Good luck guys!”

And because Linda has so much money to give, her commenters bear the most disturbing names to get her to notice and favour them.

There is the Linda take note, whose persistence paid off last December.
There is Linda best friend, who is obviously a dreamer.
There is Linda Future Husband, who needs a hard knock on the head.
There is Linda House Girl, whose career ambition is to sweep our Banana Island mansion.
Linda’s daughter who is probably 42 years old.
LIB Addict whose name should be LIB giveaway addict.
Linda pikin.
Linda Ikeji’s first cousin.
I could go on and on.
And then the ones using aliases like Davido’s driver, Don Jazzy’s driver, Wizkid’s friend and Linda Ikeji’s driver.
And finally, the ones that would go under anonymous to curse and then use their regular handles to type altar call messages in the comment box. I’m referring to the self acclaimed bishops, pastors and priesthoods.

These kidults hardly ever have any thing meaningful to contribute to a conversation. It is either they are dropping their email addresses where it is never needed, abusing one another or creating multiple line breaks in their comment to add an irrelevant signature.

Proof with screenshots- http://www.naijasinglegirl.com/linda-ikeji-commenters-behave/

Linda Ikeji’s audience consists of a mix of the upper-upper class who reads & exit AND the lower-lower class who acts like their 3-Square meal is on the blog. This is the reason why opinions on a topic are never aligned. Example, a post on “Fight currently going on in Oshodi” would rake in high comments and a post title like, “Direct Masters & PhD Admission at Lakehead University, Canada” has ‘seen’ comments.

Monosyllabic words used in the comment box by users who are after her giveaways include;
“Noted”
“Okay”
“Hmmm”
“Seen”
“KK seen”
“Okay seen”
“Nice”
“Nice one”
“Lovely”
“Ok”
“Read”
“God bless her”
“God bless him”
“Good for him”
“Good for her”
“Issokay”
“It is well”
“Cool”
“@gmail.com”

The ones who usually have more than three words to comment fall into the following categories below.

The homophobics: Linda dares not upload a photo of a man in a skinny jean, pouting, a disturbing mirror selfie of a celebrity or an Onyx Godwin. They are quick to type,
“Gay fool!!! Anuofia! Buhari is coming for you!”
“All I see is 14 years”
They come alive whenever she post news on a transgender and their greatest enemy is the firewood legged Caitlyn Jenner.

The tribalists: Every now and down, minor civil war goes down between the Igbos and the Yoruba’s in the comment box. They Yorubas come alive whenever Linda reports news on a crime an Igbo has committed and vice versa.
Petty religious arguments also fall under this category.

The critics:
You’d recognise them by the phrase, “LINDA HOW IS THIS NEWS?”
They are usually very bitter and have a problem with 90% of Linda posts. They are quick to point out every lady is bleaching. They are the first to notice when a celebrity is getting fat. They have a problem with PDP & APC. The sight of divorces like Ini Edo and Chika Ike makes them very angry. They occasionally issue warnings to Genevieve, Agbani and Rita Dominic to get married.
Even the madam of the blog is never spared when they run out of people to attack.

The spammers:
These ones are all about selling their markets. Thanks to their html a-tags, they are able to make comments like,

“See what this busty Ekiti girl is doing to a politician in a hotel”
“Imagine small boy spanking yellow secondary school girl with fat thighs (Photos)”
“UNILAG Ladies Fights and strips themselves Naked Over Boyfriend”
“Angel Yetunde releases sexy photos 18+”
“Click here to start making 50k a day from blogging”

I always click the last one


http://www.naijasinglegirl.com/linda-ikeji-commenters-behave/

There are 5 kinds of people in Nigeria.

Those that do Linda religiously
Those that do Nairaland religiously
Those that do a healthy? mix of both of them
Those that do none of the above
Those that do not have an Internet connection

If you're reading this, you're in one of the first three categories

Guy you need to write a review on that of nairaland.... Lol

Last time I checked, Naijasingle girl is female.

Tundeiab:
Guy you need to write a review on that of nairaland.... Lol

LOLZ

NOTHING LIKE NAIRALAND

I wonder when Seun will start giving prize to nlders



Onyeakanchi!

Funny set of people. Some will add 'Linda take note' after every post lol

I've never opened LIB on mobile phone or desktop. I can't just deal with it.

crazy thing technology brought to us..
op take note

Nairalanders rock jawe, I don't even know how her blog looks lyk, never visited d site b4

Had a very nice weekend laugh, thanks op!

Some will add " Linda if you like don't post my comment, just use it an cook ogbono soup.

God bless Sean and Lalasticlala for Nairaland.. .
I can't imagine myself going through dat crazy path just to comment on her blog .

#To wailing wailers.. You don't appreciate what you have till you see others.....

LINDA'S LAST BORN THATS ME

Naijasinglegirl u are so on point like decimal. Love all your write ups

True

porshuch:
Some will add " Linda if you like don't post my comment, just use it an cook ogbono soup.

Lmaoo...so on point.

lalasticlala

whats your view on linda commenters

So true.. Especially with the giveaway part