Presently, I am in this dilemma. My bossom friend is getting married tomorrow and I didn't get the ashoebi for the following reasons:
1) She is not really into any lucrative business neither is she employed. Her husband to be is a hustler as per he also doesn't really have a steady income. As a result of this, I decided that instead of the 10k ashoebi, the 10 of us should contribute and give them a tangible sum of money which I think will be of help to the couple.
2) The attire is what I can not wear after the wedding so why spend that much for a day? (my thoughts).
3) We are expected to buy shoes of the same colour also. As we know as ladies, bags must follow. this one give or take one kind 7k go drop again o.
I have decided to contribute 5k to the bridal shower taking place later today since the organiser mentioned that they needed money to buy more drinks (see what I mean?).
Am I a bad person for not buying the ashoebi or does it mean I don't love my friend?

you are no bad my dear.

Just that your logical sence of reasoning isn't on same level as the would-be couple.

Your decision is just fine.

did ur friend ask for money or ask that you join her ashoebi? It is important you understand the request of others so ur good deeds wont be meaningless. Give people what they ask for and not what you think best. btw I think you are a good friend and person.
Cheers.

masterchi:
did ur friend ask for money or ask that you join her ashoebi? It is important you understand the request of others so ur good deeds wont be meaningless. Give people what they ask for and not what you think best. btw I think you are a good friend and person.
Cheers.

Good advice, @OP I'd say oblige your friend, it does not stop you gifting money in the future. If the cost is beyond what you deem reasonable and can afford, kindly tell your friend.

sweetgala:


Good advice, @OP I'd say oblige your friend, it does not stop you gifting money in the future. If the cost is beyond what you deem reasonable and can afford, kindly tell your friend.

I agree with you both. Today is the bridal shower and the organiser mentioned inadequate drinks.
What do you advice?

masterchi:
did ur friend ask for money or ask that you join her ashoebi? It is important you understand the request of others so ur good deeds wont be meaningless. Give people what they ask for and not what you think best. btw I think you are a good friend and person.
Cheers.

Thank you for the compliment. I don't want her to be embarrassed hence my decision to support buying of drinks.

vibezz:


Thank you for the compliment. I don't want her to be embarrassed hence my decision to support buying of drinks.

no probs, just make sure u discuss it with her first. I think she'll understand.

masterchi:
no probs, just make sure u discuss it with her first. I think she'll understand.

I truly appreciate you.

You have good intentions but unfortunately not a wise one cos ;

1. You will stick out like a sore thumb being that society expect friends & families of the couple to show "love" through Aso Ebi.

2. You didn't discuss with your friend to know what is expected of you, your good gesture may be DOA, since your friend's priority looks to be quite different from what yours is so ask what she prefers, don't take it upon yourself to make that choice..

One thing however is that, you are a great friend..

vibezz:
I truly appreciate you.

my pleasure.

modath:


You have good intentions but unfortunately not a wise one cos ;

1. You will stick out like a sore thumb being that society expect friends & families of the couple to show "love" through Aso Ebi.

2. You didn't discuss with your friend to know what is expected of you, your good gesture may be DOA, since your friend's priority looks to be quite different from what yours is so ask what she prefers, don't take it upon yourself to make that choice..

One thing however is that, you are a great friend..

lol...I agree with you and so will heed your advice. Thanks again

You are one of the few very sensible ones out there Ma'am

jaybee3:
You are one of the few very sensible ones out there Ma'am

You got me smiling sire.

vibezz:


I agree with you both. Today is the bridal shower and the organiser mentioned inadequate drinks.
What do you advice?

Sorry for the late reply, I've been buay with a close friend's wedding too since Thursday.

I hop you made financial contribution towards the drinks since this is in the past now. That would have been the good move

Why do brides do not cut their clothes according to their sizes??

sweetgala:


Sorry for the late reply, I've been buay with a close friend's wedding too since Thursday.

I hop you made financial contribution towards the drinks since this is in the past now. That would have been the good move

I did o and more. I and another friend had to also get about two cartons of wine for the wedding reception and other miscellaneous expenses. it is well. Hope the wedding you attended wasn't stressful?

duduade:
Why do brides do not cut their clothes according to their sizes??

Na who I go ask?

vibezz:

I did o and more. I and another friend had to also get about two cartons of wine for the wedding reception and other miscellaneous expenses. it is well. Hope the wedding you attended wasn't stressful?

Me stress myself !

I went there to enjoy the mood and check out all the single ladies in the building. You know how women like to dress to kill to owambe parties.

It's great to hear you done your part, trust me even if the couple don't acknowledge your effort God will.

sweetgala:


Me stress myself !

I went there to enjoy the mood and check out all the single ladies in the building. You know how women like to dress to kill to owambe parties.

It's great to hear you done your part, trust me even if the couple don't acknowledge your effort God will.

lol @ checking single girls. I hope you got one?
#wink

vibezz:

lol @ checking single girls. I hope you got one?
#wink

Naija women are same everywhere, they front too much.

They've even started infecting fellow African, Caribbean and even European girls. God help us men folk