Imagine a home where the wife pays for rent, pays children's school fees, how dare such a man give orders to his wife and call himself head of the home?

I think the head of the home is the woman

Rightly so. But where the husband fails due to circumstances beyond his control, the wife can assist him for the interim .

This doesn't imply he folds his arms and watch.

Dominicah:
Imagine a home where the wife pays for rent, pays children's school fees, how dare such a man give orders to his wife and call himself head of the home?

I think the head of the home is the woman

I disagree with you

I don't submit to the stereotypical definition of the head. I think it is a mere tag to keep relationship in check. For example, it does not mean that he can make stvpid decisions or act like a mor.on or do things that would significantly affect the family without checking with his wife. Inasmuch, he is still accountable to someone then his role isn't such a big deal. His word might be final in some cases however that does not mean that he can make mor.onic decisions because it is final. It is impossible to have two captains on a ship. Being a co-captain is a supervisory role, you get to call him out when and however you like. Being the head is spiritual in a way. This is the reason I disagree with people that throw the word around like fo.ols.



To your question, providing the finances shouldn't mean shit. That is why I hate it when some men think that breadwinner is synonymous to being a tyrant. It does not mean you make better decisions. In this scenario, she is not the head. Just because she provides for her family does not mean that she is 'the head' in 'your context'.


I think, a family with love, understanding and empathy will not be bothered. I will expect such family to take considerate decisions. I don't have a problem when people take decisions on my behalf, so far it is not hostile, selfish or harmful to my being.

negodu

Dominicah:
Imagine a home where the wife pays for rent, pays children's school fees, how dare such a man give orders to his wife and call himself head of the home?

I think the head of the home is the woman

If a woman cannot take care of the financial need of her home, what is the point spending money on the girl child education? Women claim to be equal to men except when it comes to the time for responsibilities.

2good:

If a woman cannot take care of the financial need of her home, what is the point spending money on the girl child education? Women claim to be equal to men except when it comes to the time for responsibilities.

Men are also selective, you want to claim superiority but you have no problem with the woman becoming the permanent breadwinner? You can't have it both ways. I think most women won't have a problem with footing the bills as long as men agree they are equals. She can't be footing the bills and you'll still be claiming to be superior to her

2good:

If a woman cannot take care of the financial need of her home, what is the point spending money on the girl child education? Women claim to be equal to men except when it comes to the time for responsibilities.

Men claim to be superior to women except when it comes to women paying bills. The woman will be the breadwinner yet the man won't help around the house because he will claim certain chores are beneath him If you argue that we are equals then no problem we will gladly pay bills since you will then pitch in with cooking and everything else. You can't except any woman to be happy to be the bread winner and still the one in charge of chores and kids. What then is such a man bringing to the table

Mamatee07:


Men claim to be superior to women except when it comes to women paying bills. The woman will be the breadwinner yet the man won't help around the house because he will claim certain chores are beneath him If you argue that we are equals then no problem we will gladly pay bills since you will then pitch in with cooking and everything else. You can't except any woman to be happy to be the bread winner and still the one in charge of chores and kids. What then is such a man bringing to the table

Men have been taking care of their family from time immemorial and dying in the process without complaining because they are programmed from birth that it is their responsibility. Men still take care of most responsibility in over 80% of Nigerian homes without complaining. So if you see someone who is struggling to do that, he is an outlier.

Temporarily, it can happen, no yawa but permanently, i don't pray for that.

2good:


Men have been taking care of their family from time immemorial and dying in the process without complaining because they are programmed from birth that it is their responsibility. Men still take care of most responsibility in over 80% of Nigerian homes without complaining. So if you see someone who is struggling to do that, he is an outlier.

The difference is when Men do that the women take care of the home but when women pay the bills the men still don't want want to take care of the home. Of course the women will complain, why will she be the breadwinner and still be treated as if she's beneath him and he's too big to take on chores like cooking and washing . If you pay all the bills and your wife doesn't do housework won't you be pissed How can one person be the one doing everything and expected to be smiling , when she's not a Mumu

As for the topic it depends on the definition of head , if it's like the Nigerian men definition where they think they get to make all the rules then yes he has lost that right although no one party should ever even have that right no matter who's making the money. But in homes where that is the case the woman may take it while you are the one bringing the money but of course it will change when she's the one bringing it. She can't be the one Earning the money and you'll expect her not to have a say on how that money Is spent .

A man remains the head irrespective of situations. . God didn't give any conditions for husbands' headship. ..

Meanwhile, all these headship, bla bla bla... a family where the couple live as friends/lovers, hardly notices who's the 'head' or 'tail' because they do things together; they're more like partners/siblings. ...

Any woman struggling to get the tag 'head' is very ill-mannered. For a man struggling to do same, such man is a child.

The OP reasoning is why some men are ruthless when they have financial power

Because the only reason they are in the marriage is because of money

First of. Men aren't wired to do domestic house hold chores. Is it necessary, yes but from time immemorial women have always done these things. Does it make any one the bad person? No. It's just the way it is. Plus times have changed and you can always hire live in helps or hire external maid service so that's settled.

Secondly, marriage is a partnership and I don't subscribe to this head and tail analogy. I think marriage should be a partnership with each partner working towards a common goal. Marriage requires mutual respect and when there is that respect, the there would be happiness and less fights. Y'all make it sound like it's a war zone out there. It's not. You lots keep getting married for the wrong reasons and then you run here sprewing hate messages and what not.

PresVA:
A man remains the head irrespective of situations. . God didn't give any conditions for husbands' headship. ..

Meanwhile, all these headship, bla bla bla... a family where the couple live as friends/lovers, hardly notices who's the 'head' or 'tail' because they do things together; they're more like partners/siblings. ...

Exactly. Some people just make marriage feel like it's guns and ammunitions. Seek true love first, then respect your partner. Build solid friendship and partnership regardless of age or financial parity and watch your marriage blossom. It's not rocket science really. If you as a woman is taking care of the finances and you are beginning to feel overwhelmed then talk to your husband and make him see reasons why he needs to assist and get something doing (even if I think he is a tool if he's perfectly okay with such situation). Fighting and waiting for ur ass to be licked and cherished isn't the answer really.