A constellation
Of beauty ; a womanhood
Into traditions

Guilty of childbearing and
Voiceless at decisioning

Adorned creature
Receptive to compliments
Subjection's love

Sorrow is pleasurable
The voice of misogyny

Married to then love
Packaged for a husband's wish
Restricted desires

When her eyes are on fire
Then plays the song of the mute

For her nine months
Congratulations is dished
A Kingdom welcomed

Despised for a woman child
Avalanche of sudden tide

Caressed with loneliness
Consoled with deep emotions
The gods' emptiness

Her tears, far North and far South
Of a river, overflow

More than pregnancy
Pregnancy of a woman
From her infancy

For her yesterday's future
A tomorrow starting now.



joseph1832, Dklef, gracile ,speeder

My first Renga

Analysis

The Renga centers on the almost extinct case of the situation in which a woman doesn't marry for love. She might just be given out to someone she never knew. The birth of a woman child only doesn't really mean anything. A woman who bears only women children seem not to be applauded and therefore despised.
All these and more thus the pregnancy of a woman.



(My reference to infancy is not to be generalised though as not all family or traditions loads all the work (at home) to the women (from childhood) .)

Nice. But a Tanka poem is suppose to comprise of 31 syllables, written in five lines with the syllable count of 5-7-5-7-7.

This form looks like that of a Renga. But nice work all the same.

joseph1832:
Nice. But a Tanka poem is suppose to comprise of 31 syllables, written in five lines with the syllable count of 5-7-5-7-7.

This form looks like that of a Renga. But nice work all the same.

You're correct. It's actually a renga.

A renga and a Tanka are kinda same. That was where I got confused but now I'm clarified. 5-7-5 then 7-7 for a renga but 5-7-5-7-7 for a Tanka. Thanks.

Let me do some modification(s).

Please, I need your critique(s) on my work. Let me know how to improve more.

TheAgba:


You're correct. It's actually a renga.

A renga and a Tanka are kinda same. That was where I got confused but now I'm clarified. 5-7-5 then 7-7 for a renga but 5-7-5-7-7 for a Tanka. Thanks.

Let me do some modification(s).

Please, I need your critique(s) on my work. Let me know how to improve more.

Okay. But I hope you know Renga's are suppose to be written by two or more people, not one?.

joseph1832:
Okay. But I hope you know Renga's are suppose to be written by two or more people, not one?.

I'm aware of that. But there are cases in which one person writes it. I read some from the poetrysoup website.

TheAgba:

I'm aware of that. But there are cases in which one person writes it. I read some from the poetrysoup website.

Okay.