Say No To Domestic Voilence
By: Mute Efe

Ladies Wake Up

I say NO! to domestic violence, but ladies, wake up. Wake up and get your priorities right. We cannot keep singing this song of there is no reason whatsoever that should make a man hit a woman, while more and more women are having their lives cut short, yet you keep focusing on petty things when guys are toasting you.

You also need to take responsibility. If these men never got any lady who agreed to marry them in the first place they won't be laying their hands on anyone.

The decision of whom to spend the rest of your life with is too important to be based on what kind of car he drives or whether he wears designer shirts or whether he knows how to hold his fork and knife correctly. This is not an audition for a television program. Your life is at stake here. Literally.

Those are stuff you can teach him in the course of the relationship. You won't be getting married to the car or designer shirts, you will be getting married to the man. And just in case you don't know how to identify one let me show you how not to.

A man is not the car he drives nor the quality of shirts he wears.
A man is not the colour of his skin nor how well he can speak English fluently.
A man is not the kind of job he has nor the kind of apartment he lives in.
A man is not how well he kisses or how well he can give you great sex.

He can be violent and drive the best car.
He can be violent and wear the best shirts.
He can be violent and have the best skin colour.
He can be violent and be very fluent in English.
He can be violent and be working in the best firm.
He can be violent and be living in the most beautiful apartment.
He can be violent and knows how to kiss very well.
He can be violent and knows how to give great sex.

The man is the person inside of the person you are looking at. Your job is to look into the person and see what is on the inside of him and one way to know that is to look at how he treats others not just how he treats you. With you he will always be at his best. Another way is to test him to reveal what is on the inside of him.

How does he react when you show up without any prior information?
How does he react when he asks you to do something and you fail to get it done?
How does he react when he is angry and when you are angry?
How does he react when you push him to the wall physically, mentally, and emotionally?
How does he react when you shut down emotionally to him?
How does he react in embarrassing moments?

Save yourself the drama. Don't become another statistic. My greatest fear is that in another 7 years time we will be reading the stories of some of those that are reading these stories today. What then did you learn if you end up making the same mistakes?

Get the foundation right first before focusing on the exterior. And, by the way, you can work on the exterior during the relationship. You can make him understand that you will be happier if he dresses in a particular way or wears a particular perfume as long as you know he can afford them. But be sure he is a man first.

There are violent men going around looking like angels. I beg you, wake up, shine your eyes. Focus on the right things. It's time to #‎ChangeTheConversation‬ #‎NoToDomesticViolence‬

Share if you may.