ok ladies and gentlemen let's do this,post your jokes here let's see who gets more LIKES

the number of likes you get determines how people laugh at your joke..

oyaa....

Bae: Please give me your phone let me play candy crush

Me: *gives her phone*

*5 mins later*

Bae: Who is Ada?

Me: What level is that?

I saw a guy in the park the other day pinned under a tree.

“Get help!” he shouted.

“Bleep you,” I replied, chugging my bottle of Dowell. “I don’t need help, I can quit anytime.”

some girls are becoming very 'hygienic'. They now use fork to eat pop-corn, and spoon to drink viju-milk☹ In as much as pot bellied men don't go on maternity leave,& Short ppl don't pay half d price for full body massage, Life is still unfair! Onitsha kids be like ------> "Our Father, Look at eleven, Adaobi thy name..." ☹ I owe my life to Tonto Dike. I was in Coma for 3wks when d nurse played her song on her fone. I had to stand up... to remove her battery. GERMAN ►▸ Volks-Vagen.. ENGLISH ►▸ Volks-Wagen.. YORUBA ►▸ Foks-fagin.. IGBO ►▸ Vokes-Virgin.. HAUSA ►▸ Pokes-parging. Back then in Primary school, I used to think that song was: "I have seen, seen the DANFO of satan" *sighs* U want a Fine Boy wit 6Pacs & Abs Of Steel, but Ur dad is Skinny, with a pot belly & a Hunch back. Why can't U be contented like Ur Mum? Opportunity knocks but once, if you hear a second knock, bros check well, Na Jehovah witness. #copied

Solomon went to a dentist for tooth extraction and first enquired about cost.

Dentist said it's 12k per extraction.

Solomon thought it was too much and asked about cheaper methods.

The dentist said: Yes, it can be done without anesthesia and will cost only 5k but it would be very very painful.

Solomon said: Ok Doctor, do it without anesthesia.

The dentist removed the tooth without anesthesia and during the entire procedure he sat quietly, even smiling a little.

The dentist was not only surprised but was quite impressed and said: I have never seen such a brave patient like you. I don't even want my fees, here, instead take this 15k as a reward, you've taught me such a powerful lesson today about mastering one's pain and feelings !!!

In the evening he met his fellow dentists and told everyone about his amazing patient.

Out of all doctors, one doctor jumped up and shouted: That rascal Solomon first came to me... I gave him anesthesia and asked him to wait outside for half an hour ! After half an hour when I called him BUT he had left !!!!

THE WISDOM OF SOLOMON STILL LIVES

There's this girl that I asked out during Jonathan's Tenure but she turned me down flatly.

Thought she was playing hard to get but I later discovered that she was actually playing never gonna happen, so I let her be.

But it crossed my mind to re-ask out again now that the economy is bad to know if she has changed her mind.

So I called her.

She: "Hello?"

Me: "Hi, Jenny? Listen, I was wondering if you would want to go see a movie with me tonight?"

She: "Sure, I don't see anything wrong with that."

I was shocked to hear her say that cause what I used to get is "No Way".

So I thought she'd say, 'No Way!' and hang up but she didn't.

I decided to take it one step further to know if her first response was a mistake.

Me: "Great, well how about dinner before the movie?"

She: "Sure, that would be great too!"

Me: "Fine, I'll pick you up about 9, you should have finished eating by then!" (phone clicks)

I am certain that this waitress abi nah food and drink sales girl in this my newly discovered "cool joint" is there to cause trouble and nothing else.

My first time there was pretty awkward. After taking down my order she went to the counter and shouted "How Many Meat!!!!"

Isn't that crazy? Her plan was for me to(because of the fine girls there) say something like three or four!

In this harsh economy...?

Trust me sha, I just raised a finger like a student who wants to answer question in the class and continued with my phone.

Thanks Heaven she was looking at me.

I went there again today to pay the worms in my belly their wages when the same girl beefed up again.

Sitting close to me was a guy who(from the little I heard) was silently breaking up with a bae that was sitting opposite him.

I guess they are both ready for it but it doesn't concern me sha.

So this food sales girl abi nah drink sales girl walked up to them and said to the guy

"Are you done with that thing"

You can imagine the horror in the girls eyes when she looked up and saw the food sales girl pointing her way.(she was actually pointing to the plates that they used)

That isn't a terrible question to be honest but it is never polite to ask guy “are you done with that?” when he’s breaking up with his girlfriend.

This girl will run that place down.

LOL laff tire!!!

MONEY CAN MOVE ANOINTING IF PRAYERS DON'T;i attended a crusade one certain time I was invited by a close friend because my condition is nothing to write home about,poverty don strike my whole body finish even if i by pass u you go smell poverty pass Lols

prophet:who is naijamakossa let him come out,you are suffering from spirit of poverty.

me:yes sir na me be naijamakossa

prophet:you need deliverance

me:ok sir

ushers have already surrounded me hoping that I will fall

prophet begin dey pray dey hit hit my whole body
but no shaking ,he com touch my head but I still dey stand kidigba no shaking.

after praying for sometimes wey I no fall,he then ask one of the ushers to bring 3million naira for me

na that moment anointing catch me

I shout jessssssss!!!!!!!! yabagadagagagaga started speaking in tongue immediately

roll on the floor ,tore my cloth no usher fit hold me so later I was able to stand up with my two legs still shivering,immediately i was handed the money another anointing catch me I fell down again.

chai poverty no good ooo

please NO copy and paste joke personal joke will be more welcomed try to crack your own joke
kingtom mrcork
you are wanted....

guys we need more jokes here,,,keep balling

have you ever witnessed a rich man praying before? LOL I was opportuned to sit beside one rich man in the church one certain time,
guys this man just the command and dey send God as if God is his boy boy
LOL I can't laff as I watched him pray

Jehovah God my container is on the way coming,go and be the driver and let your angel be the conductor so that I will be sure that my container will arrive safely,and if it arrive I want you to monitor them as they offload the goods because of those thief thief boys Infact arrest anyone that will try such thing and wait for me as wil be coming to lock them up,,,in Jesus name

and I shout amen..

Hi guys, am actually looking for comedians who can post on a particular web everyday. Dont worry I'll pay you weekly. name your price lets talk here

Please, I want to cook Jollof Rice,
Should I use Rice?

MyLady11:
Please, I want to cook Jollof Rice, Should I use Rice?

noo use beans LOL

Last sunday durin d church service wen i turn 2 see my usha smokin igboo i was so shock dat d bottle of star dat i was holdin almost fell down

0luwatope:
Hi guys, am actually looking for comedians who can post on a particular web everyday. Dont worry I'll pay you weekly. name your price lets talk here

oya na ah d game

sarz:
Last sunday durin d church service wen i turn 2 see my usha smokin igboo i was so shock dat d bottle of star dat i was holdin almost fell down

two brothers in sin

0luwatope:
Hi guys, am actually looking for comedians who can post on a particular web everyday. Dont worry I'll pay you weekly. name your price lets talk here

Am interested

mrlamdee88:



Am interested

Reach me out on whatsapp 08104422662

sarz:
oya na ah d game

whatsapp 08104422662