ON A LIGHTER MOOD…

AUNTY TEMEDUN’S PENCHANT FOR PREROGATIVE MADNESS
BY: ORIMOLOYE, Ifeoluwa

I write on behalf of Aunty Temedun. Aunty Temedun is the wife of Retired General Lagbaja, a former head of state, an international businessman and an oil mogul. At the thought of Aunty Temedun, I am chilled to the marrow. The reason for this is not far-fetched, it is because I am only being compassionate about her predicament, her quagmire. I am full of pity for her, even as I share in her grief, and I can only imagine... Only recently, a feather was added to her ‘headgear’ as she was installed as the Iyalode of her town. This came at the heels of her installation as the Deaconess of her church at Maryland, Lagos. Also, until her installation, she was an Engineer, having registered with the Council for the regulation of engineering practices (COREN), before towing the academic lane and then she became a Professor of Engineering. She then enrolled at a college of theology and pursued her academics optimally, until she earned a Ph.D in theology. She then delved into politics and was lucky to have been elected as a first time honorable in the House of Representatives. Thereafter, she was conferred with the prestigious National merit award as a MEMBER OF THE ORDER OF THE NIGER (MON) in recognition of her efforts aimed at the development of science and technology in the country. A successive government observed some lapses in the presentation of the initial merit award that was presented to aunty, going by the criteria. They observed that aunty deserves to conferred with the merit award of the Member of the Order of the Federal Republic, (MFR), and not MON. Therefore, without withdrawing the initial award, aunty was presented with the award of MFR.
Meanwhile, the British watched her Nigeria counterpart with dismay, owing to the fact that in their opinion, she has not been compensated enough for the service to humanity, being a former ambassador of Nigeria to Britain, whose husband owns substantial businesses in their country, as well as some million dollar properties. Therefore, they in turn celebrated aunty by conferring her with the prestigious award of the MEMBER OF THE BRITISH EMPIRE (MBE).
At that, more awards started flowing in quick succession, starting with the award of the FELLOW OF THE NIGERIAN SOCIETY OF ENGINEERING, (FNSE), ably followed by that of the NIGERIAN INSTITUTE OF MANAGEMENT.
In addition, she is vibrant and had served during her days in the academics as the Chairman of the Academic staff Union of Universities, which earned her the comradeship title. Also, she is the daughter of a prominent traditional ruler whose name, I will blatantly refuse to mention, for ‘security’ reasons.
As a graduate of the prestigious National Institute for Policy and Strategic Studies, the title MNI (Member National Institute) gets attached to her name.
Therefore, it is official that she be addressed as, Professor, Dr. Engr. (Mrs.), (Comr.), Chief, Princess, Deaconess, Hon. (AMB) Temedun Lagbaja, MFR, MON, MBE, FNSE, FNIM, MNI, COREN. The need also arise to put beneath these titles, the various degrees and the corresponding schools where she bagged the degree, viz, B.ENG. (IFE), M.ENG. (HARVARD), Ph.D. (HARVARD). This excludes the honorary degrees from some universities in Nigeria and abroad, counting up to five or so. Yet, Aunty Temedun finds it offensive if one addresses her in the absence of all of these titles duly arranged. She might in fact sue you for infringing on her dignity, if you are so unlucky.
My bone of contention lies in Aunt’s ability to manage and survive with the string of titles amidst the current economic downturn, and in the light of a communique drafted by a particular students’ body containing some names including that of aunty, which had in it the intention to present her with a merit award on behalf of the student community.