I'm very new to this,all i just want to do is write my flawed thoughts down,i know nothing about prose and the rest so go easy on me ok ? counter thoughts are welcome.
Commitment.
Well, i'm almost there.
The two faced monster that i am.
The one they think can be trusted.
Why can't i be straight with them all ?
I keep telling myself she will be the last one.
Then i go and string them up all over again.
Its no game to me i swear,
or is it ?
I just find it fascinating
Seeing how much i can get away with.
Wondering why I'm different
I know it doesnt end well on this path
I know i shouldnt be trusted
But they dont know this.
Am i terrible person ? maybe
But this people aren't different.
Its a sorry excuse,yes i know.
But then it changes
I feel like i am on a journey
One of self discovery maybe ?
In a very twisted way,i feel these are paths i have to walk.
Do i become a better person eventually,i hope so.
Does it get better ? definetly
Infact I find myself becoming better already.
The irony
A better liar
A better listener
A little maturity with every dealings.
Learning to tolerate people.
Understanding why people lie.
Seeing the snotty nosed kneel and suck.
Learning nobody that is worth that pedestal until they earn it.
Seeing the way people think.
Its a whole new experience...
But then i know one day commitment won't be a problem anymore.
There might be hope for me still.
I pray the maturity sets in quicker.
I pray the mediocre doesn't get to me finally.
I pray i can commit when the real deal comes along.
It scares me that i might miss her.
But in the meantime . . .
I will be faithful to as many as i can
Till i find my way
praying i learn from the mistakes which i can feel in my bones are incoming.
Lord help us.
So for now i will sit back.
Enjoy the ride.
And hope i become a better person.
if this is a poem, i dont know