I have been in Lagos from the end of 2011 till date and these are my craziest experiences.

1. Entering Okada with a seat belt.

2. Entering a bus with two different preachers preaching and later collecting seeds and offering. Guess it was the seed and offerings that made both refuse for one person to do the preaching.

3. Entering a bus that had no doors or windows but curtains. Yea even the driver's seat and the front passenger seats had no doors but curtains. Was crazy and freaky.

4. Witnessing a full swing area boys party at Oshodi at 12 mid night on two different sundays. The area boys were drinking and smoking everything smokable as Fuji music was blasting from speakers. The highness I saw those guys in was something else.I was not attacked or robbed.

4. Entering a bus with a deaf and dumb preacher. For real. The guy was preaching with signs, gesticulation as well as pure noise and had a bible. Prayed with a rosary at the end and rejected offers of money. Lagos na wah!

5. Being accosted by a prostitute in V/I who repeatedly called me "customer come nah! Na me, I go do you well like I do you that day". Seeing my embarrassment, the daughter of eve even came to hold me,. Yeah, like in a tight hug. I pushed her away and ran for my life.

6. Walking someone home late at night and we knocked for the gateman to open the gate. The Gateman came out and told us that he (the gateman) was not around. When the guy came close enough to the gate, he was so drunk that I could understand why he didn't know that he that was standing there in front us was at home. Helped the lady scale the fence and get inside her house.

7. Clashing with soldiers. Those animals blocked us on the bridge and beat us for not leaving the road on time. We fought back and they smashed our car windows. We followed them to their base and filled a report with the Army authorities.

8. Going for a protest with Seun Kuti and other celebrities, the police fired at us and I looked back and it was only Seun Kuti that remained. One larged well endowed female musician had disappeared like Usain Bolt (which was a mystery considering her large size) and that was the last I saw her till the protest ended.

9. At the same protest, the same policemen who fired at us guarded and guided us as we marched to stop area boys from hijacking the protest. The guns that fired us was turned against our would be attackers. I had never seen such confrontational attitude give way to such friendliness.

10. Being in a bus with a woman who seemed to be having a heart attack or faking it while the conductor instead of helping her, was menacingly demanding for the N50 fare. He told her, "if you like, no pay me my money die here, make we see whether even police go collect your dead body without paying me my money". The woman was wearing all these white garment churches suntan, so didn't know if she was in a trance. She seemed to get well as we got to oshodi and paid her fare.
That's my own Lagos experience. Lemme hear yours!

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