Understanding the different stages of your marriage

Life is in phases and men are in sizes!

What happens when the marital relationship begins dwindling? Anxiety develops- anxiety that may destroy the couple's basic outlook on relationships.

However before aiming to save a relationship going downhill, we need to understand the 4 stages that every marital relationship goes through. These are: Romance or Honeymoon stage; Reality stage; Accommodation phase; and the Success Stage.

1. The honeymoon phase: Newlyweds are still caught up in the excitement and love of their relationship. At this moment, sexual attraction is at its strongest, partners neglect differences and may see each other through perfect lenses. During this stage, couples believe that the marriage will go efficiently and will work itself out naturally and that their love will last forever.

2. Reality stage:This is when the couple start discovering more about themselves and each other in various circumstances they haven't gone through as a couple before. Frequently, couples see that there are more things they disagree about as compared to when they were still dating. The love and emotions that blinded them eventually clears and they are back to reality. Life begins to happen!

This phase is the most difficult part of the relationship, and puts the marital relationship at greater risks of affairs and divorces. The reality stage produces particular feelings of frustration, seclusion and a let-down. Couples start developing negative emotions about the marriage and typically misinterpret this as incompatibility and may start believing that they've picked the wrong partner.

Likewise, throughout this stage, sex feels more of a routine as the enjoyment disappears. Some couples equate this to losing the so-called "trigger" of the relationship. Couple who have actually not anticipated this phase of the marital relationship begin feeling alienated and start drifting apart at this point in the relationship.

3. Accommodation phase. This is when couples accept their differences and use it to strengthen their bond. They have mastered the art of conflict resolution, proper communication and better understanding of each other. At this stage, they have settled down into the marriage and they have a higher chance of staying together forever.

4. Success phase: Here, the couple gets to take pleasure in the advantages of the marriage, they support each other, They have achieved the 'one-flesh' status. They may have occasional disagreements but they are comfortable and contented with the relationship.

It is worthy of note that no matter the phase your marriage is, things can improve or deteriorate depending on how much attention you give to it. Don't become complacent if your marriage is working and don't despair or give up if things are not working. There is always room for improvement.

Throughout marital relationship, counsellors, physicians or trained experts help the couple comprehend each other's differences and help them work through it.

Love may be the reason couples come together, however it isn't the only thing that binds them together till the end. It is important for potential couples to understand these normal stages of marriage development before tying the knot to be prepared for whatever may occur during the marriage.

Please note that the time/ number of years each couple will spend at each stage will differ. But effort must be made to overcome whatever challenges you may face and seek help whenever neccesary.

We are here to help!

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OP, Nice Job, this is a very true and mature article but those who have dedicated their lives to Hollywood and mills and boon will not understand this.
Such persons come to social media to seek solutions only to get the worst Advice ever, I am not saying that NL doesn't offer real and good advice but those who are not psychologicaly mature will take the advice they are already itching to hear.
Every marriage goes through the stages mentioned above.

Nice article.

Noted. Will understand better when am married. Now its

Sensible!!

Nice article... #seeing one of the #stages right now...

There is a Rebellion Stage

He begins to miss his games, toys, sports. She begins to miss her outings, weekly dinner, picnic, she equally misses her friends, even her ex-lover boy.

Suddenly, the thought of building her career sets in. She suddenly remembers and blame herself for not getting a Bachelors or Masters degree and even a PhD before marriage. He blames himself for spending those millions on wedding rather than getting a plot of land, a brand, and a degree.

At this stage, the AIM shifts from the interests of the marriage to self-interest.

You begin to accommodate the thought of infidelity, the thought of saying yes and even applying for a transfer letter at work to another city just to gain freedom (we've seen some cases on Nairaland).

This stage is just 'crazy', a woman can leave for another city to resume a job of N10,000/month even if her husband owns 10 cars. The aim is the "freedom", not the N10,000.


At this stage, only a loyal spouse can survive. Alone time, solitude or freedom is good and ideal, but if you often disagree with your partner on major issues before marriage, it's going to take a marriage counsellor with over 200 years experience to see you through this stage. Commitment is key, and loyalty is vital.

Whoa!!! Lovely writeup @ op. Highly educative I must say. More ink to ur pen.

I agree with you that this also exist but just as u concluded, commitment is truly the key and loyalty is vital.

Project400:
There is a Rebellion Stage

He begins to miss his games, toys, sports. She begins to miss her outings, weekly dinner, picnic, she equally misses her friends, even her ex-lover boy.

Suddenly, the thought of building her career sets in. She suddenly remembers and blame herself for not getting a Bachelors or Masters degree and even a PhD before marriage. He blames himself for spending those millions on wedding rather than getting a plot of land, a brand, and a degree.

At this stage, the AIM shifts from the interests of the marriage to self-interest.

You begin to accommodate the thought of infidelity, the thought of saying yes and even applying for a transfer letter at work to another city just to gain freedom (we've seen some cases on Nairaland).

This stage is just 'crazy', a woman can leave for another city to resume a job of N10,000/month even if her husband owns 10 cars. The aim is the "freedom", not the N10,000.


At this stage, only a loyal spouse can survive. Alone time, solitude or freedom is good and ideal, but if you often disagree with your partner on major issues before marriage, it's going to take a marriage counsellor with over 200 years experience to see you through this stage. Commitment is key, and loyalty is vital.

Good write up.we all must go through this phase.But we make with it,depends alot.....

Nice writeup. Thumbs up to the writer