1. President: I love coke.

Bloggers: PMB Has Declared War On Pepsi.



2.President to Adesina: Today at 11 o'clock there will be a total eclipse of the sun. This is when the sun disappears behind the moon for two minutes.

As this is something that cannot be seen every day, I call on managers and head of department to allow employees to view the eclipse. I, My aids, reporters and few party leaders should meet in the car park at ten to eleven, when I will deliver a short speech introducing the eclipse, and giving some background information. Safety goggles will be made available at a small cost.

Adesina to Lai: Today at ten to eleven, all of us should meet in the car park. This will be followed by a total eclipse of the sun, which will disappear for two minutes to help vulnerable Nigerians get jobs.

For a moderate cost, this will be made safe with goggles.

Mr president will deliver a short speech beforehand to give us all some background information. This is not something that can be seen every day.
Lai to The Press: Mr President will today deliver a short speech to make the sun disappear for two minutes in the eclipse while the economy boosts.

This is something that can not be seen every day, so he has directed that staffs in different institutions should meet in available cars park at ten or eleven.

This will be safe, if you pay a moderate cost and it will provide jobs for vulnerable Nigerians when the economy boosts.

The Press to Nigerians: Ten or eleven vulnerable Nigerians are to go to the government house, where the President will eclipse the sun for two minutes to provide jobs for them.

This doesn't happen every day. It will be safe, but it will cost you.
Bloggers: Some vulnerable Nigerians will eclipse to the government house today to see the president disappear. It is a pity this doesn't happen every day.

callmelanner:
This looks like the signature of the APC govt. Wait, are u trying to sub our government