Ben & lysaa are b/f & g/f lysaa was an original fillage gurl. so one month end Ben wnt's to claim a big boi so he took lysaa all d way 4rm fillage to d town straight to an eatrie. below was their convesation:

Ben: hey! sweety wat will u lyk to take!
(lysaa who does'nt knw anything as a fillage gurl. did'nt knw wat to say.)

lysaa: Any thing

Ben: anything is nothing sweetie!

lysaa: ok u choose 4 moi

Ben: ok do u care 4 salad?

lysaa i'll go 4it if only it's hot coz i dnt eat cold food.

A little boy got on the bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards.

The little boy asked why he wore his collar backwards.

The man, who was a priest, said, "I am a Father." The little boy replied, "My Daddy doesn't wear his collar like that. "

The priest looked up from his book and answered "I am the Father of many."

The boy said, "My Dad has 4 boys, 4 girls and two grandchildren and he doesn't wear his collar that way, "

The priest, getting impatient, said, "I am the Father of hundreds" and went back to reading his book.

The little boy sat quietly thinking for a while, then leaned over and said,

"Maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead of your collar."

Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.

The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.

The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.

Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.

The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.

To the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!"

Lol. . .keep them coming

A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.

“What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your closet and he’s got no clothes on!”

The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.

“You bastard!” says the husband, “My wife’s having a heart attack and you’re running around naked scaring the kids!”

:d :d :d :d

hahhhhhhhhhaahahahahahahahhhhhhahahhahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhahahaaahah

:d

Nice jokes

trust m nw

@jokes
lol ;d

Sipping her drink, the single girl leered and said, “Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend’s office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made passionate love on his desk right then and there!”

The engaged woman giggled and said, “That’s pretty much my story! When my fiancé got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only had sex all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!”

The married woman put her glass down and said, “I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma’s. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume. I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask.

When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, ‘Hey, Batman, what’s for dinner?

chaaaaaai! batman, i love that man.

Three business associates, an Igbo man, a Yoruba man and a Chinese man, went to eat lunch together at a restaurant in Surulere.

While in the middle of their food, a fly came in through the window. It flew across the table to where the Igbo man was but he just waved his hands to chase it away.

The fly then went to where the Yoruba man was, he also chased it away.

Finally, the fly then went to where the Chinese man was and was flying close to his ears. The Chinese man looked at the fly for sometime and then grabbed it, put it in his mouth and swallowed it.

The other men saw this but just kept on eating.

Five minutes later, another fly came in and flew to the Yoruba man who just chased it away again.

It then flew on to the Igbo man but this time he did not chase the fly, he looked at it for sometime and then grabbed it. He then turned to to the Chinese man and asked " how much you go buy am?" (Translation: How much are you willing to pay for this fly?)

The phone bill was exceptionally high and the man of the house called a family meeting.
Dad: People! This is unacceptable. You have to limit the use of the Phone. I do not use this phone; I use the one at the office.
Mum: Same here, I hardly use this home telephone as I use my work telephone
Son: Me too, I never use the home phone. I always use my company mobile
Maid: So what is the problem? We all use our work telephones!

yesh sharp maid n that igbo man.

Abbey the comedian

aye ati jo.

kini lo sele ni aye ati jo?

useless joke abeg u never discover ur talent

Look if you have nothing reasonable to say, then get out of here.

tell am o

bethelnwa:

useless joke abeg u never discover your talent

Mumu!!! na em u b! ode, if u fit do wetin i do. u go dey hapi altru ur lyf. crazzzzzzz fellow

kai! abbeby don finish person

*sighs*

Why.