I NEED HELP HERE.... I have a wife I've been with for 7 years, we have 3 kids and we are both young, early thirties. Our sex life went down recently and am being tempted into having affair outside. She hadly satisfy me even when i try to give enough pre-intimacy and caressing. She sleeps off even while we make love, i have discussed her lazy attitude towards our sex life but she dosen't show remorse or change. I believe I meet her personal need and even bought her a new car weeks ago. I also have asked her before now if she's cheating on me she said No. Am am sure she isn't having affair outside unless emotional relationship . What can i do because i love sex but not indiscriminately or with wrong women. I NEED HELP!!

Mayb she is emotionally depressed, u can talk it over with her












Waiting 4 them married ones to say sumtin

Try and be spontaneous, she may be tired and want emotional connection. Have beyond the bedroom fun and try talking to her, she might be going through something....

Mr worried Man,
Sex in marriage is quite vital, it is one of the most important ingredient of marriage. Find out the reason why your wife isn't taking sex serious - it could be as result of domestic work: having three children to take care of is no mean fit. If you can,ensure you get your wife a house help or you make it early down home to assist her. Material things may not be all that is necessary at this point, perhaps if you can create a time where both of you can go for a honeymoon-this will allow both of you to rediscover yourselves. This getaway should be about you two: the children can be excluded from the equation. Spice your sex life with new techniques. Above all, pray about it.

Oga its clear you are boring in bed and dont satisfy your wife. You come across as a selfish lover. Go and learn the art of romance and pre-intimacy- when you have done that, trust me, she will come be your hoe in bed.

How can you be shagging and the person is sleeping? you are really an awful novice oo baba. Even without hearing from wifey, with what you have said so far, I think the problem is You

keepingmum:
Oga its clear you are boring in bed and dont satisfy your wife. You come across as a selfish lover. Go and learn the art of romance and pre-intimacy- when you have done that, trust me, she will come be your hoe in bed.

How can you be shagging and the person is sleeping? you are really an awful novice oo baba. Even without hearing from wifey, with what you have said so far, I think the problem is You

I'd rather keep mum over issues I obviously don't have experience about.

WARNING!!! Do not CHEAT on your wife.

The reason most marriages fail is because most of us stop working at our marriages immediately after getting married. We just assume things will take its course. We stop "dating" our wives after marriage. When last did you help with the chores at home? I tell you, the reward for helping with chores is sex which she'll initiate. I can bet she'll not sleep off. Come home early from work and help with the chores at home. She has three kids to take care of. Its not easy on her.
Come to think of it. When last did you take her out? When last did you buy her that sexy lingerie? Have you ever taken the time to spice up your love and sex life?

Don't say she's sleeping off or she's become lazy in bed....... Has it ever crossed your mind to think maybe you're the one sleeping off on her emotional needs and also become lazy to even think she has emotional needs?



Look in the mirror. The person who needs to up his game is staring at you.........

Watch what she does, and not what she says for any red flags, cos what is unsaid wen communicating is often times more powerful than what is said...

dont let pple advice u on ur marriage o... give her time cos only u know the reason u love her..

She sleeps off even while we make love

OUCH!

If you keep whining about it, I suppose she'd loose interest naa .

She'll come around if you let her

make Fin drink for her and her life will not remain de same.

I wonder how you will be fvcking someone and that person will be sleeping.
Bro, up your game na. Which kain sleepy fvck be that, haba.?

Maybe she's stressed out or you have become boring...

that word Marriage sef de fear me cos of wetin I de see here on Nairaland.end time marriage

Blade21:
make Fin drink for her and her life will not remain de same.

bros. Pls was it in abuja You collected ur letter? #nscdc

trustnobodi:
bros. Pls was it in abuja You collected ur letter? #nscdc

boss its a public forum some things are best kept secret thanks

Your wife is likely tired from the children and household duties. But to fall asleep during the act means she is completely disinterested in you. It's obvious you are terrible at the art of love making. Please make sure you are clean and smell fresh (mouth an body). Try giving her a massage with light kisses from top to bottom, before you do the act. Find all the spots that make her smile. Also, please send the kids away for a few days and take her on an outing. Most importantly talk to her about the matter and ask her to be completely honest with you.

I picked this piece from my wall on Facebook posted by a dear friend. This may not be what you wrote about but there are quite a few lessons to learn so also a few adjustments you can make in your marriage.

My name is Dayo. I’m a typical Nigerian guy and I cherish my Fridays a lot; I get to hang out with the sickest guys every Friday night and secondly, It’s another escape from my nagging and boring wife. I get confused sometimes on whether she’s my mother or my wife. Don’t get it twisted; I love her pieces. It just gets complicated; like I wish we never got married…marriage has turned her into something that doesn’t amuse me. I wish she was still the adventurous, charming, high spirited lady I dated for five years.

A lot of people say its unethical for married guys to be found in a club, but I wish everyone won’t be too quick to judge and understand that people look for fun to run away from their problems; they just want to breathe, like me.

I forgot to say that I work in Guarantee Trust Bank along Lekki, I love my job and my job loves me, maybe its because I’m the senior banking officer. Lol. This particular morning, a lady breezed into my office. My heart raced faster because I had not sighted anything this beautiful in a long while. She wasn’t the typical slender Barbie, in fact, she was a bit chubby but her smile, cuteness and…I was tripped.

“Hi Good morning! Your ATM has swallowed my card!” She laughed, unlike a typical customer that would ram you.

I just tried to form Boss laughter…

“Good morning, You know what? I’d personally make sure they get it out for you, but not today. Can you wait till Monday?” I smiled

“GTB shaaa! OK, can I just drop my number so you could call me up or just text when its ready so I don’t come twice? Please? My name is Nancy” She blinked her eyes in a funny way.

“Sure” I smiled

We exchanged numbers. What a lucky Friday....

So it was 10:00pm and I headed to the club…as usual my friends were chilling for me. My wife had called a couple of times, I just ignored it. She knows I’m never home Friday nights.

“Look at you!” I heard someone say. I raised my head and it was the ATM lady-Nancy.

“Wow, look at you too!” I was surprised to see her but I was happy I didn’t have to wait till Monday to see her again.

“Happy Friday!” She screamed because of the noise, “Wanna dance?”

I didn’t even have the chance to answer, she already pulled me to dance floor. I really suck at dancing but she helped me; she was a great dancer! I had fun! At some point we decided to go to a private area and we talked, ranging from work, business to personal life. I tried to hide my ring as much as possible, I certainly didn’t want this to end now.

“You are a really wonderful lady. You are so interesting…any guy would want to be with you all day” I said.

“I wasn’t always like this but I have learned the hard way that life is just too short to be sad” she sang

Then her phone rang…

“Hey baby! Yeah I’m at the private lounge, I’d like you to meet someone…alright boo” she talked excitedly as usual.

I was in shock until this tall handsome man walks up to her and kisses her.

“You were late. Meet Dayo; I met him this morning, he’s helping with your ATM I told you got swallowed and Dayo this is my B to the O-O,” she laughed “Meet my husband Kolade, we only come here to dance every fortnight Friday; away from work, stress and kids.”
“Wow, a pleasure” I managed to shake him
Then she stood now excitedly holding her husband’s arms.
“Why don’t we invite Dayo for Mimi’s 16th birthday tomorrow?” Her husband said
They have kids too? How long have they been married and they look like a couple just dating!
“Silly me, please come for my second daughter’s 16th tomorrow. It would be an honor” She brought out an I.V from her purse.
I began to feel so ashamed of myself…this was another guy like me, getting it....
right with one woman.

I collected the I.V and promised to be there.

“See you tomorrow! Have you had something to eat Kolade?” she talked and dragged her husband along.

They left and I kept staring at the thin air like I had seen a ghost. They come just to dance together every fortnight Fridays? Why didn’t I think of that! Temi loves to dance…she also likes long walks, she loves to talk…she loves jazz music, there’s this vivid picture I have of me putting her hand on my chest when we danced at a jazz club on our first year anniversary…I found myself typing all the things I knew Temi loved to do on my Ipad and I realized I had denied her of all…I had made her the old woman she acts.

What on earth was I doing here! I didn’t even tell my friends goodbye, I walked out of the club into my Jaguar. Temi’s call came through and I picked at first ring.

“Temi?” My heart raced

“I know you are not coming home…”

“I am, stay up so we can gist. Been a while” I decided to do everything on that list and to even add many more for the rest of my lifetime with her.

“Are you alright?” She was shocked I suppose

“And I’d like us to go for a birthday party tomorrow. I want you to meet this amazing couple”

“You sound different Dayo”

“Maybe I’m different”
“Don’t say it! don’t say it! when you come we will gist very well” she laughed
She laughed!!! In just that laughter that I hadn’t heard in a while, she sounded like the lady I married six years ago…
Dear reader,
I wrote this natural piece just to remind us that creating memorable moments with our partner matters. Do you know that little things are the sweetest things? Just creating time to gist and laugh with your partner, having a day in the week that’s exclusively for you both-No friends or kids allowed.
Lady, when last have you told your partner he is so darn hot? Guy! Wen last have you told your lady she is the sweetest thing? Wen last have you whispered ‘Thank you’? Wen last have you been quick to say ‘I’m sorry’ .
ENJOY YOUR DAY.