So I read a story on naira-land about a girl who turned from good to bad upon gaining admission into the University and I thought I should do this. I’m sure we would agree with me that the University is an eye opener for many and in some cases, opens their eye negatively, especially when they decide to see everything that throws itself at them. This is not restricted to gender, girls turn bad, boys turn bad as well. Are we saying we should no longer send our kids to the University or anywhere far away from us to prevent them from following this trend, to stop them from joining ‘bad gang’?

I’m almost certain that we’ve seen people who changed totally from good to bad as soon as they entered the University, we even have some as friends, or maybe some of us are even examples, who knows? But then, if we don’t do something about it, we will keep seeing them and not only in outsiders, we would see them in our own siblings, and children. So what is the answer to this ‘thing’ freedom is doing to young people?

The bible explained it in the book of proverbs (apologies to people who practice other religions), I can’t remember the verse but I think it’s in chapter ten. It said to “train up a child in the way (s)he should go and when (s)he’s old (or grows), (s)he would never depart from it”. Inasmuch as this is a bible quote, it also sounds very logical, the values you instill in a child is what the child will exhibit. There’s another verse that says “if (or when) the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do?” I know this isn’t Sunday school but these things are just truths we need to work with or else, they would work against us.

The foundation is the most important part of a building though the building itself is important. The foundation determines to a large extent how the building would turn out. That’s why our foundations are very important, that’s why it’s important to train a child the way you want him or her to go. You can’t train a child forever, so if you don’t start early, it might just be too late before you realize it. The character a child exhibits outside is only a reflection of the foundation that has been laid, how he or she was trained or brought up.

We are not always the same person around everyone and that’s why a person would behave in a certain way with family and an entirely different way when with friends. That’s why most attributes that children exhibit later may shock their parents because they never saw it coming. Those attributes were not ‘lowkey’, they were just not meant for home which is why the right values have to be instilled in children to avoid a switch that’s terrible when they’re away from.

The University is an institution of learning and educational growth for an individual. If you ever passed through it, you definitely wouldn’t want your children to miss that opportunity especially when you have the financial capability to make it happen. Some parents also have contributed to the negative turn out of their children because they were too strict to give them the opportunity to let them express themselves not only in words but in actions. If you can’t see the real them in action, you wouldn’t be able to correct them fully because you would only see what you choose to see or what they choose to show.

I understand that you can never know a person up to a hundred percent but the best way to know someone is to allow them be themselves, though there would be limits. You don’t chain an animal to observe its behavior, you only make sure it doesn’t have too much freedom so it won’t misuse it. That’s how some parents are, they won’t let their children’s friends visit and they won’t let their children visit others either. They won’t let them attend rehearsals or extra-curricular activities just because they don’t want them to mingle wrongly. The truth is, you can’t hold them back from expressing themselves. They definitely will, with or without your permission or supervision.

Though there are things they would learn from ‘outside’, good or bad but with the right values instilled in them, it would most likely not have any lasting negative effect on them. No one is perfect and sometimes, you have to experience certain things to truly learn so yes, good and bad, they would learn but with the fear of God and the right foundation, the good will overcome the bad.

Don’t be too strict and don’t indulge them beyond normal. Be approachable, don’t let your children be scared of you. Let them respect you not fear you. I’m not a parent but I’ve seen and experienced a mixture of good and bad parenting and I know you have too. Don’t spoil the child because ‘spare the rod and the child’. Train up a child in the way (s)he should go and University would have ‘nothing’ on him/her. Build the right foundation, build trust, pray, act and you would have almost nothing to worry about even if they have to be miles away from home. It takes conscious efforts to create the kind of future we want and the earlier we take those steps, the better for us.

ok