A MEMO FROM THE DEVIL.
............................................................
.............Good Buddies
35. Be sure to entice your
human to sin by surrounding
him with good buddies who share a lot in common. You
know, the same life experiences
while growing up, the same
kind of humor, the same love of
good-lookin' babes, the same
tastes in fast cars, etc. Once this bond is formed, it is very hard
for the humans to ever break it.
When HE starts working on one
of his sons to forsake sin and
follow HIM, the good buddy is
always there to put peer pressure on him to drink more
beer, to cheat on his wife, and
to stay out late shooting pool.
This peer pressure is so great at
times, that the humans usually
forsake HIM and choose us and our worldly temptations. After
all, nobody wants to be uncool
and to look like a holy Joe in
front of their drinkin' buds. We
have a lot of "good ol' boys"
down here in hell, who just yesterday were scoping out the
chicks in the girlie mags, and
who were throwing their beer
bottles out the truck window,
trying to hit the STOP sign as
they were running it. It's a HELL of a note that there was
another car running that same
stop sign coming from the other
direction. And when they get
down here in our hellfire, they
all say the same things: "Why me?" "There's been a mistake."
"Nobody told me about hell." "I
want to go back to my Mom.",
etc., etc., etc. I get so tired of
hearing the same things from
them over and over. HE warned them all about hell in HIS book,
the TV is full of preachers talking
about us, and there are churches
just about everywhere. No, they
have no excuses, and once
they're down here, there is no escape ever from our torments.
What did they think? That they
would live forever? That they
could repent at the last minute
when they were 85? As they
live, so shall they die. And when they sin a lot, we down here get
to decide when they die! After
all, since they reject HIM and his
austere way of living, there is
one and only one other choice
for their Lord and Master....The very dynamic, ultracool, and
very HOT, Me!
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Keep them busy
36. Ever notice how the humans
today are so busy with unimportant things? There's
soccer practice, going out to eat,
work, TV, family affairs,
shopping, computer games, etc.,
etc., etc. Many of the humans
are so busy with these pursuits that they will never find the
time to do HIS work - Feeding
the poor, giving drink to the
thirsty, clothing the naked,
visiting the prisoners, praying
for their enemies, etc. This is all great news for us, especially
since HE even spelled it out for
them in Matthew 25:31-46
about the importance of doing
these corporal works of mercy (I
really hate even saying that!) if they want to go to heaven. No,
they prefer the busy things of
this world much more than the
things HE told them in
Matthew's gospel that they had
to do in order to attain heaven. And they busier they are, the
better. For sure, we do not want
them ever to read about their
judgment to come in Matthew
25:31-46, so keep on keepin' on
with emphasizing in their minds the many worldly things
that occupy their time. And
always make them believe that
it is enough for them to only
profess their belief in him,
rather than on the necessity of performing good works as a
fruit of their faith. He told them
in Romans 2:6 that he will
render to every man according
to his works. AND not only that,
HE reemphasized it in Revelation 20:13 that they will
be judged ...by ...what ...they
...had ...DONE! HE didn't curse the
barren fig tree for nothing.
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Depression 37. When one of your humans
sins sufficiently, we then have
the power to give him one of
our greatest gifts, the gift of
depression. This is a state of the
soul that says that life is meaningless, that there is no
hope for the future, and it's
better to be dead than alive. In
this state, the humans really
believe that the sad way they
are now is the way that they will be forever if they stay alive.
We have convinced a lot of
psychiatrists that this is a
mental state only, rather than
one of the soul. We know that
the mind and the soul are linked together like fire and heat. So
we then get these doctors to
load up the depressed person
with drugs and counseling. Of
course, these things help, but
since the real cause of this disease is that of the soul, these
actions are only halfway
measures. Once they turn to HIM
through prayer, fasting, and the
sacraments, HE then takes over
their life and this state of the soul disappears; thus the human
then becomes even stronger in
the faith. So you must suggest
to him or her to kill themselves
while in this depressed state.
One of HIS saints, John of the Cross, referred to a similar state
of prayer as "the dark night of
the soul", when HE withdraws
all spiritual consolation to see if
the human can stand on his
own two feet through the sacraments, prayer, and self
denial. In other words, HE does
this to see if they walk by faith,
not by sight. This is similar to
when a child leaves the family
household to strike out on his own, after he has sufficiently
been brought up and cared for
by a loving family. Of course, HE
is always with them no matter
what, they just can't see HIM or
feel HIS love. HE went through a similar state of being on the
cross, when HE said, "My God,
My God, why hast thou forsaken
me?" And when HE was
undergoing this depressed state
of the soul in the garden of Gethsemane, we even caused
HIM to sweat blood by showing
HIM all of the sins of all of the
generations of humans that HE
had to atone for on the cross.
It's truly amazing that HE chose the arrest, the chains, the hits,
the insults, the rejection by HIS
own priests, condemnation by
the Romans and King Herod, the
scourges, the mocking of the
soldiers, the crown of thorns, the carrying of the cross, the
beatings, the nails in HIS hands
and feet, and the 3 hours of
agony on the cross before HE
died. This sacrifice opened up
the gates of Heaven that had been shut since the one sin of
Adam and Eve, the sin of
disobedience. How many people
today now disobey HIS church
on birth control and abortion? A
lot, praise be to me, the very first disobedient one! If they
only knew what awaits them
down here for their
disobedience - Eternal
depression, which makes what
HE went through during HIS Passion seem like a walk in the
park! After all, HE had it written
down for them in Luke 10:16
that "He who hears you hears
me, and he who rejects you
rejects me, and he who rejects me rejects him who sent me",
but most people today look
down on HIS Church, which
means of course, that they look
down on HIM, which is exactly
what we want. Back to top POWER !
38. Personally, I like giving the
humans power, and the more
unlimited the power, the better.
We did this with Pharaoh,
Herod, Hitler, and Stalin, and look at how they used their
power over other humans for
our benefit. Millions were
enslaved, tortured, and killed.
Others, however, can still work
for our benefit with lesser power, or at least the craving
for it. These lower humans use
their power to climb to the top
of their business world while
stabbing their "friends" in the
back to do so. They love the art of making business deals,
wheeling and dealing, building,
demolishing, always on the
phone, making lots of money,
looking down their noses at
people who aren't like them, hating people who are like
them, etc., and all the while
ignoring their family. Like a
little toddler, they cry and
whine when they don't get
their own way. Their very existence depends on this type
of busy, busy, busy, life support.
They will travel to the ends of
the earth to make a buck, but
would never even think to walk
across the street to humbly acknowledge HIM in HIS
tabernacle. They actually like
living in our world, er, I mean,
their world of busy finance
(sorry, my Freudian slip was
showing). And if anyone gets in their way, it's lawyers and
lawsuits, something HE warned
against in Luke 11:46, 1
Corinthians 6:7, and James 2:6.
These power-hungry humans
also know that along with power comes unlimited sex
should they so desire it, because
humans of the opposite sex find
power to be very attractive. We
encourage this unlimited
fornication through power by placing a lot of these types of
people together in the office
these days. These control freaks
(it's my way or the highway)
which include a lot of HIS clergy,
by the way, really believe that it is more important to gain the
whole world, and never even
think about losing their souls
(Mark 8:36) in the process.
Accomplishing really big things
while they are alive feeds their ego and is even an aphrodisiac
to some. They never even think
to pray for HIS power, which is
unlimited grace. He regularly
dispenses this invisible power in
HIS Mass, HIS book, HIS sacraments, and in HER rosary,
but most humans can't see it, so
they don't believe in it. Seeing is
believing after all, we tell them
on a regular basis, even though
at Mass they repeat that they believe in "all things seen and
unseen". Our power is in pride,
HIS power is in humility. The
more humble the humans, like
Moses (Numbers 12:3), the more
HE can accomplish in them. To our great pride, more people
want to be rich CEOs than HIS
trusting, humble servants. The
good news is that some really
believe they can be both, which
HE told them they couldn't, in Matthew 6:24 and Matthew
12:25. No, the real power that
we show them is the power of
this world - money,
earthquakes, tsunamis,
volcanoes, floods, nuclear bombs, science, control,
lightning, gravity, business
deals, jet airplanes, etc. No one
wants to believe that there is
unlimited power that they can
access, freely given, waiting for the asking, in the form of grace.
They want earthly power now,
and so that's what we give
them. Of course, we get their
souls in the end, but since they
never even think about their own deaths, who cares?
Certainly not the humans, that's
for sure, at least not until it's
too late. Like a deer attracted to
the molasses and corn at the
deer feeder, they are attracted to our power. And they never
suspect that there is a hunter
waiting for them at that deer
feeder who wants to kill and eat
them. It is so funny to see the
expression on their faces when we throw them into our lake of
fire. They simply can't believe
that a lifetime of ignoring HIM
and HIS dictates while pursuing
their own personal desires could
land them here. The funniest expressions are on the ones that
tried to have it both ways, the
fence straddlers. Some of HIS
followers do know, however,
that every Mass they attend and
every communion they receive speaks for them at their
judgment while we are
accusing them of their sins, so
be sure to work on them about
how busy they need to be
during the week, especially watching stock market updates
on TV all the time, so that they
will never even think about
attending daily Mass for their
"daily bread". The ones that do
attend daily Mass start to form an invisible shield around them
that makes it harder for our
temptations to get through.
With these kind of humans, you
have to be much more subtle in
your approach. I would suggest using the "spiritual pride"
approach by planting in their
minds that they are holier than
everyone else, which
immediately negates any
spiritual benefit they get. Happy hunting! The harvest is rich
today!

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