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EPISODE 14

Dear Diary,
My cousin won’t stop laughing when I told her what happened, she had called me to gist me about how her boss has made life hell for her, how she needs to work extra hours for more money, Toun made me realize life is not really rosy outside the country like most people think, her parents divorce didn’t help matters as both parents remarried few years after, Toun spoke sense into my head and told me not to let guys problems weigh me down then she ended everything with her favourite line “fine girl like you”. She ended the call abruptly when I heard a rough cockney accent from the background, every human to his own problem, seems her boss caught her making calls when she’s supposed to be working.
Why does everything seem complicated at this point? I thought I had found someone I can actually connect with, it is not like I was rooting for something but it kinda felt good that I had him all to myself then, or so I thought. With what he told me at the restaurant it seems he saw me as a solace when he was having problems with his girlfriend, hahaha see how life got back at me, I was using him as a soft landing in case Jhay ends things too, hahaha, isn’t my life awesome?
My roommate is there lying on her bed with a tummy that is protruding already, jeeeez my eyes are swimming as I write this, I have a knocked up roomie who seems to be having hormone issues, we don’t even talk anymore, I can’t seem to get a grip on my academic life, I just realized the boy I was crushing on has a girlfriend, hahahaha I have Prof. Fajuyi’s assignment to submit next tommorow, my life is awesome!
I wish I could talk to Toun right now, but who knows maybe she is sleeping already, poor girl.
I need to get my life back on track, I really need to, but where do I start from? Okay I get it!
Operation 1: Delete Farhan. Yes!!!
VISIT http://kanzahsays.com

you guys should leave your thoughts and comment....need the encouragement to carry on

I dey your back, ahmstrng

More ink to ur biro dear...pls mention me when u post again

ur head get oil..carry go..i dey ur bak lyk bum bum

EPISODE 15

Dear Diary,
It wasn’t easy deleting Farhan from my life and also my bbm, but I can’t block him on WhatsApp, I just can’t and have been receiving messages nonstop on WhatsApp from him, I have stopped picking his calls as well and NO, I don’t go to Coigne to eat anymore, that place is forbidden for now, Coigne is where majority of the coolest people in school hang out, their food is not that great tho, the sharwama tastes like soggy bread stuffed with rotten cabbages, but you get to meet really awesome people that can help you with… Stuff. I met Henry Sharkfish teeth there tho.
This week has not been awesome jor, Farida has been smiling at me a lot lately, she came to borrow my handbag yesterday, as much as I hate borrowing people my stuff I couldn’t say no, maybe I was surprised she came to ask me, maybe I needed her friendship so bad (I don’t think so!) maybe it’s her brother, I can’t place my head around the spirit that possessed me while I grin sheepishly and asked her to remove it from the bag hanger, she looked so surprised and rushed into her room to show me the outfit she wants to wear it with, she told me she would have carried a black bag instead but she felt my burnt orange handbag would totally nail the look, I couldn’t help but agree when I saw her at the faculty this afternoon, she was the one that screamed my name and waved grinning and looking stupidly beautiful in a white crocheted top, olive green pants, black heels and my beloved burnt orange bag, I couldn’t help my hand movement because I waved back much more enthusiastically while Fola Scott sat like a sack of beans looking very much like his Shreky self! Hian!
Did I mention I have stopped going to night class? Yes I stopped, I am avoiding Farhan and there are rumours snaking it way around school that some set of guys are gang raping girls that go for night classes! There is God ooo
My roomie had gone home, her morning sickness is getting the better off her, thank God she had left, Diary I nearly died from vomit smell, I stopped bathing in our bathroom till she left, I had to go to Tamuno’s room instead and Tamuno’s roommate is one nonsense Edo girl that loves looking for trouble, she doesn’t mind fighting every girl in CLEOPATRA hostel when it comes to her boyfriend, yes Ese is such a lover girl.
So, I have been sleeping alone and reading, yes I have actually been reading and I seem to be getting a hold of Prof. Fajuyi’s course, I had 10 out of 15 in the assignment I submitted, Water and Sewage microbiology is what am trying to put in my head right now, that course is…. I think am going to stop making weaves for some time, those weave ons are covering my destiny.
My mum called yesterday, very very unusual, I was wondering who died amongst my brothers since it is only my dad that checks up on me from time to time, he has been busy lately sha, with the Boko Haram bombings and mayhem, I miss him so much #tears. So my mum mumbled some few words about being a good girl and everything and ended it with her favourite line ” Lanre ranti omo eni t’onse” meaning Lanre remember the daughter of whom you are, duh like I don’t know my dad is Major Dotun Coker-Badmus, the woman sef.
I am going to drop the pen soon diary boo boo, you are my boo now since am boo less, it’s been long I kissed diary, Jhay was such a good kisser, I was waiting for the “Harlequinz romantic stare into each other’s eyes and take it from there” kinda kiss from Farhan, so sad there is an Amina he is hurting over, duh! Lord will fix them or not!
I gotta go, I am going to Farida’s room, the girl is kinda cool and did I mention I saw her with Kylie Jenner’s lip kit? BFF alert! I need to start something. Bye!
Operation 2: Befriend Farida!
VISIT http://kanzahsays.com

are things getting hotter.....or are you guys bored already

nyc story...d story contain many xters...jus dey confuse me...abeg les talk more action

Wow

I think i Love your diary...
not sure how many times you called me stupid tho. seems to be you fav. word
aint girls complicated but we know that already.
updates pls...

EPISODE 16...

Dear Diary!
I am totally having the time of my life with Farida, truth is Farida is not as evil as I thought she was, eheheheh she told me she pretends she hates me because I refused to talk to her and Natasha, ehehehehe Natasha said she envies my height and body, ehehehehe my head was just bigging and bigging ehehehe.
With Farida and Natasha company, I didn’t miss my roommate one bit, I had my room all to myself but Farida’s room became my second home, I practically moved in, I only go to my room to pick clothes or other stuff before going back to Farida’s room.
My almost boring life became spiced up with Farida’s presence, and we try as much as possible not to bring up her brother whenever we talk, she got the clue the day she asked me to speak to him on phone and I pretended I was doing something else and he of course told her not to bother and he hung up. Eh!
I saw life outside the four walls of my boring strict environment, I stopped living a triangle life, I got to use the excess money I have left after buying only provisions and foodstuff to shop every weekend! I never knew there were cool stores around, bye bye to online shopping!
Despite all the fun and thrills that comes with being Farida’s friend, I so much hate the company of her boyfriend Fola Scott, that guy irritates the shit out of me, he doesn’t even know how to talk, he lacks common etiquettes, khai it is true when they say love is blind, I guess Farida is just repeating history, her dad is the complete opposite of her mum, I had to feign indifference when I saw their family photo.
I never knew Farida was a brainy o, she reads late at night, around 2am to 5am at times 12am till 4am, she has a mini jotter she reads first thing in the morning when she wakes up as well, jeeeez I will never ever judge people from afar anymore. My test scores improved a bit, I hope I can keep this up till exam period, Farida is such an amazing influence o and she gave me a nickname sef ‘Larai’ instead of my very masculine Lanre.
All was well with the two of us until she invited me to a birthday party, trust me I am the type to let my hair down after a very stressful test week, we got dressed, I was wearing my Little black dress with gold pumps, gold hoop earrings with my hair packed in a ponytail, Farida wore a red wrap dress with nude stilettos, silver studs. Her hair were not packed and she had her wavy tresses parted at the side, she needs no weavon, thanks to her amazing Lebanese mama. Natasha wore a red trouser with a loose top that has black and white stripes, black pumps.
We left in Fola’s car and got to the venue of the party around 10pm, Farida stayed back in Fola’s car and Natasha and I made ourselves comfy on a couch while we watch people digging it out on the dance floor, I was offered some drinks but I refused, I don’t want to wake up with an hangover plus I am trying to stay away from alcohol, it is almost six months since I tasted alcohol. The music died down at a point and the celebrant was invited to say hi and hello to everyone, I saw a very beautiful girl elegantly dressed strut towards the gigantic cake conspicuously displayed on a beautiful cake stand, she daintily dug her forefinger into the cake and licked the cake cream she scooped, woooow, I must have been staring so hard that Natasha was forced to nudge me, whispering into my ears and asking if I have never heard of Aminah Bello, the most beautiful girl in the whole school? She added maliciously that even Farida bows to her, I raised my brows and continued staring nodding my head as Aminah speaks, woooow she has a beautiful voice, the girl is perfect, figure 8, Alexander Wang floor length gown even her makeup was on fleek she finished saying all she had to say and her boyfriend was invited to cut the cake with her, lo and behold! It was ehehhe Farhan!!!

I didn’t know when I gobbled down glass after glass of whatever it was that was being served, my eyes became itchy, I made my way towards the bar and refilled my glass, I finished it before I got to where Natasha was, Natasha looked surprised but said nothing, I didn’t hear the rest of what was being said until I heard cheering and shouts of “say yes say yes” I turned and saw Farhan on one knee proposing to Aminah!
I screamed and laughed out loudly, drowning the voices of everyone cheering them on, Farhan and Aminah stared towards my direction but Natasha made me duck under the tables, she raised my head after My woman, My everything by Patoraking was being played while Farhan and Aminah shared a deep deep kiss.VISIT http://kanzahsays.com for lot more interesting articles...

currently in #TheOtherRoom sipping my codeine and perusing through this great piece

nyc one..loving d twist sha..thumbs up

EPISODE 17...

Dear Diary,
I woke up with a horrible hangover the next morning after Aminah’s birthday party, all I could remember was Natasha splashing water on my face as I vomited upon entering my room, yes my room, they had to dump me in my own room because I vomited on myself at the party, I vomited twice on the ride back to the hostel as well inside Fola’s car, I didn’t know how sleep took over the moment my face touched the pillow.
The morning after was hell Diary, I didn’t even know what I felt, I only felt empty and “betrayed”. Or was I expecting too much from Farhan? Something keeps telling me there is more to whatever it was that happened or could happen between us both.
Farida and Natasha came to my room with breakfast and a mixture I was asked to drink, I felt better after taking whatever it is I was asked to take and funny enough they look bubbly and fresh, wow I was the only one vomiting like an idiot. I even vomited on myself, hahahah and we were unable to take pictures.. Oh they actually took some pictures when I was downing drinks after drinks.
We all avoided talking about what happened at the party till they left towards afternoon with Farida shrilly announcing she had to go make her hair and Natasha following suit and mumbling things I couldn’t catch. Wow
Ed Sheeran kept me company all day, I cleaned my room and soaked the vomit stained dress, I definitely need to go to church for “deliverance” I can’t understand something like this hitting me when I thought I had everything under control, my mum would be so pleased I am finally connecting with the “lord”.
My elder brother is always the best solace in this kind of situation but he is far away undergoing military training, it’s so sad phones are not allowed there, I really really miss him. And my little brothers would just laugh like the “boys” they are.
Prof. Fajuyi called me in the evening, I was lost for words I wondered where he got my number, he yapped yapped about how my performances in his surprise tests keep improving and how I need to keep it up. Really? Prof. Fajuyi? My number? This is the worst joke of the century, that man is so strict, he never laughs and his heart is as black as his complexion, I don’t just understand this pep talk of a thing.
I called the 100level class rep who apologized profusely saying Prof. Fajuyi asked him out of the Blues and he had no choice than to give him, I hung up on the poor boy, I was too pissed for words.
Farida and Natasha returned late in the evening and gave me what they got me at Coigne eatery, Sharwama, Suya and Ice cream, I smiled half heartedly and forced myself to eat, it tasted like paper stuffed with chicken, I was still trying to shove the Sharwama down my throat when my phone beeped. It was a text from Prof. Fajuyi and it reads
‘You are a good girl and you need mentoring and guidance, see me in my office on Monday, I should be around from 10am to 3pm. Take care and have a nice night.’
Did I just read that? Farida asked what was wrong when she saw my expression, I told her and she laughed while Natasha asked if he wants to chop onions, I asked what onions meant and they laughed harder.
Diary? Diary? Hello? I would be back when I get back from church.
VISIT http://kanzahsays.com for lot more interestin articles

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ahmstrng:
Drop your comments

This is really nice. Just keep it coming

Nice one...next pls

EPISODE 18

Dear Diary,
I sang ‘Deliver me oh lord’ from church to my hostel, the girls that were standing in front of the hostel sniggered as I walked past them, the thin porter that looks like an ape was on duty, she stared at me with her owl like eyes as I walked past her without greeting her, I was in my room already trying to lay the bed I scattered while rushing to church in the morning when I heard a knock on my door, it was Ese the lover girl who doesn’t joke with her Bae and she told me the porter wants to see me, I nodded and tucked in the bedspread neatly before leaving the room, Ese was making Tamuno, her roommate’s hair when I walked past them, Tamuno waved when she saw me and I waved back, I got to the porter’s desk and she fixed me with the owl eyes again, God they look so scary, her eyes look as if someone applied very thick black eye shadow around her eyelids and forgot to stop on time, I forced myself to stare back, I don’t want her thinking I am a weakling like Dara whom she bullies every now and then, poor Dara I still can’t understand why some Nigerian parents push their babies to the university at age 14, who does that? The Porter cleared her throat and shifted in her seat, then she began to talk and talk and talk, the only sense I could make out of all she had been saying was the fact that I pass her desk without greeting her, that it is a sign of disrespect blah blah blah, well I was trying to remember what made me hate her in the first place, now I remember, she loves to kiss every Cleopatra’s ass, and she begs for things with careless abandon, yes! She was still talking when I cut her short, I told her I have very important things to do and asked her to face what she came to do! The girls watching movie in the common room were already outside when they heard her voice, they started giggling when I told her that, I saw her mouth hanging open from shock and I continued, I told her to stop kissing everybody’s ass and she can’t kiss mine because I don’t have much and she should stop eating everything the girls bring back from their outing or she’s going to eat something laced with substance one day and tear off her clothes, the giggles turned to cackling, someone was even recording the altercation. I left her with her mouth still opened and made for my room Tamuno asked me what happened with her eyes but I just nodded, Ese removed her hands from Tamuno’s hair and ran full speed to the common room to hear the gist. I became a heroine overnight, everyone kept coming to my room to give me thumbs up, they all said they hate her overbearing attitude and the reason they don’t speak up to her is that, she has their parents numbers. I only shrugged and started looking for what to wear to class the next day.
Farida came to my room around 12:00am and met me with a mug full of coffee, fighting sleep but losing the war slowly, she was all smiles as she asked me to tell her what happened earlier, I was smiling smugly as I made for the bathroom to wash my face for the third time, I said some really incomprehensible things and sat on my bed one meaningless word led to the other and I fell asleep, I woke up the next day with a package beside my pillow and a note from Farida, I checked what was in the package and saw what looked like dry leaves, more like thyme actually, it has a funny yet distinct smell, the note only reads
‘makes you assimilate better’
I thought nothing of it, I made a mental note to ask her what the ‘herbs’ were meant for. Classes were boring, and hopeful students eyeing the SU seats have been making noises up and down every lecture theatre, I remembered the message from Dr. Fajuyi, I still wonder what he wants to see me for, we were sworn enemies, I was famished and I needed F. O. O. D to think straight, I went to Chicken and Chillies instead of Coigne, I don’t want to bump into Farhan accidentally, God knows pictures of him and his girlfriend on almost everyone’s phone still haunts me.VISIT http://kanzahsays.com

Chicken and Chillies was unfortunately filled to the brim, I overhead some people talking about Henry Sharkfish teeth being the one responsible for the crowd, he was contesting for SU Social secretary and he is paying for everyone’s meal at Chicken and Chillies, I caught him staring at me as I listened to the girls eavesdropping about him and his pimping business, he waved and I nodded and left the overcrowded restaurant.
Coigne is the only option left now, I can’t go to Amala Republic, their amala tastes like bitterleaf and their ewedu is like dribble, the vegetable is nothing to write home about! It is like eating raw leaves mixed with water.
Coigne was serene as usual with it cool atmosphere surrounding it, I went to the counter to get some food and made my way to the empty seats beside the door. Dr Fajuyi’s number flashed on my phone screen when I was almost done with my meal, I was unbothered as I swallow every spoon of rice. I was sipping my drink when I saw my phone blink,it was a text from him saying he had been waiting for me since 11am and it would be of benefit to me if I could come. Really? I downed the rest of my drink and straightened my skirt, I was about to push the door open when I bumped into Amina, Farhan’s fiancée, she smiled at me and stepped aside for me to pass, I smiled back and walked briskly towards my department, I was able to board a Marwa to the faculty and as I alight from the Marwa, I saw Farida and Fola Scott, I waved and rushed past them before she could stop me for small chats, I got to Dr. Fajuyi’s office and released the pent up breaths before I knocked, he was sitting behind his desk shuffling through papers, he broke into a grin when he saw me and asked me to sit down, he went into the inner office for some minutes and came out with some papers which he placed in front of me, I could see 100LEVEL QUESTIONs boldly written on one of it, he gave me the go ahead to check what it was and I saw it! Question paper for the course I had been carrying for three years!!! I stared wide eyed at him and he stared back before saying
‘if you cooperate, you won’t carry this course over again’ visit http://kanzahsays.com

sorry guys for not posting any new episode....i'll resume shortly

Intriguing keep it coming.

EPISODE 19

Dear Diary,
I am not understanding
I am not understanding
I am not understanding
I am not understanding what Prof. Fajuyi meant by cooperate, I only gave him a tight smile when he smiled at me then he went on and on about how he likes me, and how my face lights up his class, how he wished he is not married yet, and how he would love to take care of me, my mouth was hanging open when he was saying all this. What was that saying again? About people who seem really decent on the outside but are as messed up as the most indecent being on earth.
He asked me to leave, thank God I guess he sensed my dilemma, I saw the 100level class rep as he struggled to get a hold of the papers that were flying in every direction, I would have stopped to help him but I have my own baggage to deal with, my mind went to Farida, it seems only Farida knows the solution to my problem, I don’t care what she does with whatever I tell her, I can’t imagine Prof. Fajuyi telling me all that, the thought made me cringe.
Farida and Fola Scott were canoodling in the lovers arena, I walked up to them and cleared my throat loudly, Fola Scott looked up with daggers in his eyes but smiled when he saw me, Farida was about to start chattering when she saw my face, she excused herself from him and asked him to go to class, a kiss here, a peck there, Fola Scott carried his hippo like self towards the lecture theatre.
I told Farida everything that happened in Prof. Fajuyi’s office when we got to the hostel, while she listened and smiled from time to time, when I was done she asked me remind her of what she said about Prof. Fajuyi and onions, I was too confused to remember whatever it was she said about onions or Fajuyi whatever, her eyes went to the package she placed on my bed this morning and she asked why I haven’t ‘tasted’ it yet, I raised my brows showing her I don’t understand what she meant and what the package was meant for, she smiled and went into the kitchen, she asked if I have some noodles and I replied in the negative, then she went through my locker and found a satchet of Golden Penny spaghetti, smiling sheepishly she told me she’d prepare me GJ Spaghetti Bolognese while she and Natasha decides whether to or whether not to.
I was totally confused at this point but I just said ‘okay’, Natasha came into my room few minutes after, Farida was still busy in the kitchen, Natasha flopped on my bed and asked me what I want to do concerning Prof. Fajuyi, I was bewildered, how did Natasha find out? She waved her phone in my face like an answer to the question in my head and rolled her eyes before saying ‘Technology’.
Farida came out of the kitchen minutes after with a plate of hot funny looking spaghetti, ‘I added those ‘leaves’ Sugar and spice makes everything nice right’? She grinned and began to talk in whispers with Natasha while she urged me to eat it up, I was too confused, famished, tired and repulsed by what happened in Prof. Fajuyi’s office that I began to lap it up the moment she urged me to.
They both came to sit on both side of me, I was almost done with the meal then, Natasha was the first to ask if I’d love to be an Amazon, I asked her what Amazon is and she replied with ‘like girls guide’ sarcastically, ‘listen, it is just an organization of bunch of women who don’t take shit from nobody, we help the helpless and fight for the oppressed, especially girls like you’ she added quickly.
‘Really? Then I am in, let’s go be fucking amazons’ I screamed gleefully, I was feeling euphoric and sleepy all of a sudden, and I was hungry for more Spaghetti bolo whatever it was, Farida didn’t wait for me to ask for more before spooning another heap, I was halfway through with the second plate of food before I started losing track of their convo, the last thing I heard before I slept off was
‘Don’t worry Lanre, now you’d understand what is meant by Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned’
VISIT http://kanzahsays.com

I guess dey put weed inside it

Igbo leaves at work keep it coming.

waiting! I luv diz ur diary like kilode

EPISODE 20!!!!

Dear Diary,
I can’t remember when I woke up after eating the spaghetti Farida prepared for me, all I know is I woke up hungry, I felt like someone that has been denied food for years, the worms in my abdomen were on rampage they kept pulling and tugging at my intestines as I poured Milo into cornflakes in my haste, the normal me would have threw it into the sink because I hate Milo with cereal but oh boy, the hunger was out of this world. I finished it in few minutes, but the urge to fill the invisible spaces in my abdomen won’t stop me from rushing to the Hostel Buttery to get snacks. The women that sells snacks looked perplexed as I tore the nylon wrapper of the doughnut and took a big bite before I reached into my pocket to pay her.
Farida came into my room around 5:pm with an evil grin on her face, she asked how I feel and I told her I don’t know, but I have been acting like Ronke FFO since I woke up and I don’t know why, we both burst into laughter, Ronke is the fat short girl in History and International relations and she does have very cordial relationship with food and everybody that has food.
Farida asked if Prof. Fajuyi has called yet and I replied in the negative, she typed furiously on her phone with a frown on her face when she asked again if it was only Prof. Fajuyi that is asking me out, I replied in the positive this time around, I was about to get up from the bed to start sorting through the dirty clothes I wanted to wash at night when she asked me to get dressed.
I was taken aback and I guess that showed on my face, she hissed loudly and told me not to waste her time, ‘Fine it is about Fajuyi’ she said when she saw that I wasn’t ready to bulge.
Twenty minutes later, we were in a private cab on our way to God knows where, okay Farida knows but like the idiot I suddenly realized I am, I don’t know. Her mentioning Prof. Fajuyi worked like magic and I quickly dressed and followed her. It is past 6 already and we are still on the road, I tried asking her when we are going to get there but she was too busy on her phone, and she keeps receiving phone calls she ends with ‘fine fine fine’.
‘We are dropping here’ she said eventually and the cab man pulled up beside a public waste bin, the road is busy and there is life here, I became relaxed, she sensed what I was thinking because she smiled and said ‘take a chill pill, I am not selling you to Ritualists’ I laughed as well.
She crossed to the other side of the road while I followed suit, we walked towards a church and for a moment I thought we were going in, silly me. Farida stopped for a few minutes when we got to the front of the church and looked around then she walked leisurely around the church, checking the coast was clear she beckoned at me to follow her and we set out into a thick forest, well not a forest actually but there are trees, big trees and no houses, no shops, no coughs nothing that can reassure me that all was well.
I was about to ask where we were going to when she dug her hands into the varsity jacket she was wearing and brought out a cigarette! Farida smokes! Farida smokes oooo. She turned and saw me staring ‘What’ she asked as she took a long pull at the cigarette ‘You have never seen a girl smoke before’ she puffed in my face and continued ‘Come on we are running late’ I contemplated running back to school or wherever I can run to but not with Farida but a tiny voice told me I am going to be a dead meat if I do.
My mother’s voice kept repeating ‘Remember the daughter of whom you are’ while I sob and sniff loudly, Farida seem oblivious to this as she continued to prance on like a little girl promised candy.
I didn’t even know we had gotten there yet until Farida stopped suddenly ‘What now’? I asked with a shaky voice as I looked around but all was pitch black! She didn’t reply, she removed the remaining cigarette from her mouth and stepped on it, she then took a deep breath and began to ululate.visit http://kanzahsays.com

several voices replied her by wailing loudly in response, my heart was in my mouth and my legs were wobbly, there was rustling of leaves for few minutes and all was quiet again, suddenly a huge light shone in my face and I fainted.
I woke up to Farida looking at me with irritation, I was still trying to figure out how I got there when I heard ‘The learner should kneel’ I started remembering following Farida out, hailing a taxi and… ‘The learner should kneel before the high priestess this minute’ the voice said again, the events began to dawn on me and I was about to ask Farida what was going on when a hot blinding slap landed on my face, ‘Kneel before the high priestess this minute!’ I couldn’t even see whoever it was that was talking to me, I dragged myself into a kneeling position while hot tears brim down my face. Hot pee was seeping through my jeans and I kept asking myself what I had gotten myself into...............
how do you guys feel with the journey so far??.
visit http://kanzahsays.com

Nice one, d stupid always mk me laff