Here again with a piece (its not scifi, so dont get scared), Its set in the year 2096 in Nigeria. Its romancy with a scifi twist.


The day Kachi told me he loved me was the day I realized I had to tell him the truth. We’d been together for eight months and had gotten very serious. He had asked me to move in with him several times but I told him no because I didn’t want to break my lease.

The truth was that I couldn’t live with him without him noticing I was using prescribed hormones. I was using prescribed hormones because I am transgender and had been transitioning since age twenty one. Kachi was the first man I’d been in a long term relationship with and I knew from our very first date that we would get serious.

After everything I’d been through with other men, I didn’t want to ruin my first real relationship.
Another reason for why I hadn’t told him was because I knew all too well what usually happens when I tell a man I was born male, especially after already having sex with him. I’d been knocked unconscious before. I’d been raped and then beaten and threatened with death if I told anyone. I honestly couldn’t see Kachi doing any of those things to me but I was scared.

I was scared of losing him and I was scared of losing my life. Still, I had to tell him.
If I loved him the way I told him I did, then he had to know the truth.

“How was work?” he asked me as we walked from my job building to his car.

“Stressful as usual,” I answered. “Our new boss is the meanest bitch ever. Like I’m really thinking about quitting.”

“You should. I told you to move in with me, baby. I can pay the bills like I’ve been doing until you find another job. Let me take care of you.”

“No, Ka. I can’t let you do that.”

“Why not? I’m not asking you to depend on
me for everything because I know you’re an independent woman and what not. I just wanna do what I can to help you out. You hate working at this place and I’m telling you that you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I’ll find a better job and when I do, I’ll quit this dump.”

“Saha, why does it feel like you don’t want to move in with me? We’ve been in this relationship for eight months. That’s the longest I’ve ever been in anything serious. I’ve never felt this way about anybody before. When I told you I loved you I thought it would show you how for real I am.”

“Baby, I know you love me but moving in together is a big step. I’m not sure we’re ready for it.”

“Are you afraid that your family wouldn’t approve? Are they old fashioned and want you to get married before moving in with a man? If that’s the case, then I’ll propose to you. I’ll ask your father for your hand in marriage if I have to.”

“My family has nothing to do with anything I
do, Ka. ( i love callin him ka) Believe me when I say that.”

We made it to his car and he stood up against it and asked, “So, what’s the real reason for why you don’t want to move in?”

“I just…think it’s too soon.”

“You think eight months is too soon?” He laughed a little. “Boo, I’ve changed nearly everything about myself for you. You’re out of my league in a million different ways so I had to step my shit up for you. I leave my phone unlocked in front of you to show you that you can trust me.
I don’t reply to these raggedy ass Instagram gals that hit me up all the time. And when I’m not working, I’m with you helping you dye your weave or paint your toenails.
You got me whipped but I don’t even care because I’m in love with you. I’m not one of these guyz out here with side bitches in every state. I’m your man and you’re my woman. We already spend the night with each other all the time so we know it’s possible to live together.”

“I appreciate that you’re not running around here dogging me out like every other guy, but I still don’t think we’re ready. There’s things that you don’t know about me and I don’t know about you.” I said.

“Well, you know I love to cuddle on rainy nights. And that spaghetti with minced fish is my favorite meal. Oh,
and that i use to aturbate with Genevieve's photo as a boy. You even know that I was born premature and that my mama never had a DNA test done so since she conceived me while dating two brothers from the same family, I have no idea which is my uncle and which is my dad.
I’ve even told you about how I’m lactose intolerant so eating dairy makes me fart like crazy. You know everything about me and I know everything about you.”

I giggled when he said that and replied, “I had to learn the hard way about the lactose intolerant thing. I ran out of air freshener that night.”

He laughed and assured me, “See, we do know each other. Saha, I wanna wake up every morning with you in my arms. I wanna tell you I love you before we go to bed every night. And baby I…I do wanna be your husband one day. I wan to make you happy and proud. I want our kids to know that I fell in love with you and that nothing will make me fall out of love with you.”

Chai. My heart gave.

I knew he was being sincere, and that’s what made me feel guiltier than I’d already been feeling.
This man was truly in love with me and I was keeping something from him that would definitely change the way he felt about me.

Tears filled my eyes and even though I felt like crying, I fought them back. I turned away from him and told him, “I need to get home.”
“But baby…”
“Just take me home, Kachi. I don’t feel too good.”

“Wait, are you nauseous?” He put his hand on my stomach. “Baby, when was the last time…you know…you got your period?”

“I’m not pregnant, baby.”

“Are you sure? I can run you by Leventis and we can pick up a pregnancy test. You know I’d be happy.”

“You would?” I said, a big knot twisting my intestines.

“Hell yeah. I can’t wait to be a daddy. I’d be
the best daddy in Anambra, hands down.” He smiled the biggest smile. “I really want a son. I mean I’d be happy if we had a girl but I want a Kachi, Jr. Damn, you got me all excited now.”

“I’m not pregnant so…”

“Can we work on it then? I don’t only want you to move in and someday be my wife, I want you to have my baby. You know that now.” He softly touched my face. “We got all the time in the world, but I just wanna hear you say yes. Can you do that for me?”

“Ki, I don’t…” I didn’t want to hurt him by telling him right then and there so I simply nodded and replied, “Yes, baby.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear. Come here,baby.” He wrapped his strong arms around me and held me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

On the ride to my flat, I thought about how my life would’ve been if I were born female.

Had I been physically capable of giving Kachi a child I would’ve gotten pregnant immediately by him.
He was a good man and really had changed for me.
When we met, he was messing with multiple girls and he cut all of them loose for me. Some of them were more attractive than I am and he still chose me.

Had he known I was a post-op transwoman he probably wouldn’t have even given me the time of day. But since I’d tricked him, he was in love and didn’t suspect a thing. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to lie to him for much longer, but I wasn’t expecting that ordinary day to be this day.

Chapter two
Confessions of a Pussy Cat.


“You want me to cook you something?” he asked me as he rubbed my feet while we sat on my sofa.
My apartment was a one bedroom thing with kitchen and a bath.

“Cook?” I asked with a laugh. “Boy, you can’t cook.”
“Excuse you? I recall you saying my pre baked Chicken in Utazi stew were the bomb.”

“Mmm hmm, only when I’m very hungry and too lazy to cook something myself. I have ground beef in the fridge so I guess I can make us some spaghetti.”

“Yes! I was hoping you’d make that after the day I had.”

“Aw, what happened to you today?”

“Some nigga came into the shop trippin’ because Elgin bleeped up his hairline. We almost got into some shit but I gave dude his money back and told him not to come around anymore. So while I was closing the shop up, dude came back with some of his boys. I had to pull out the heat on them but they dipped. They got laser knives, and nearly slashed me legs”

“Oh my God. K, why are you just now telling me this? Are you okay?”

“Boo, I’m good. This is why I’m thinking of moving my shop out of the area. I try to do good by providing a place for the young dudes to hang out at after school to stay out of trouble, but trouble still pops up. I know if I move it though I’ll be doing what a bunch of other business owners have done in that area. I don’t live out there anymore but I do still care about that community.” He sat back and sighed.

“You remember that young boy I told you about, the
one that seem girlish a bit?”
I tensed up a little and answered, “Yeah.”
“Some older mofos from his high school jumped him yesterday. His cousin was telling me about it today in the shop.”

“Oh, that’s awful.”
“Yeah. He got a few lacerations, a fractured jaw and dislocated shoulder. He’s a tough one though. I bet when they see him back in school in a couple of weeks they’re gonna feel weak as f.uck.
Three-on-one and he’ll get to walk around and still be himself after the fact. Yeah, they’re gonna feel like some weak asses.”

“They should be thrown in jail.”

“For what? Doing the shit that they were taught to do?” He shook his head. “Their parents belong in jail. I’d never teach my kids to be like that.”

“And what if one of them happened to be, you know, nit straight? You wouldn’t throw them out?”
“Raising a child to not be gay isn’t in the rules of parenting. Feeding, clothing and loving your child is. Providing everything you can for your child is real parenting. You’ve never heard me say some homophobic s.hit before, have you?”

Hearing him say those things made me feel even guiltier. He was saying the opposite of what a ot of Igbo men usually said when talking about LGBTQ individuals and although I knew he didn’t have a hateful bone in his body, I was still scared to tell him the truth about me.

However, his words were having an impact on my thinking. As much as I loved him and wanted to be with him, I simply didn’t deserve him. I didn’t deserve to have such a freethinking and compassionate man.

Had I told him the truth from the beginning and let him knowingly make the decision to be with me or not, I could’ve accepted his love or even his rejection. I dug the hole myself and only I could dig myself back out.

“Ki, I can’t,” I blurted out.

*********
Make una comment na, even if to say Guy u are weird or sometin. 56 views and no comment, i must be inking for ghosts. Is the english so bad or the prose style borin or what..lol

“Huh?” he asked with a look of confusion on his face. “You can’t what?”
“I can’t lie to you anymore. I’m going to lose you but that’s just something I’m gonna have to accept.”

“Whoa, baby.” He sat up and looked into my eyes. “You’re not gonna lose me. What are you talking about right now?”

“I have been lying to you since the day we
met and I just can’t do it anymore.” I took a deep breath before telling him, “I’m not the woman you think I am and I don’t deserve someone like you. That’s why this has been my longest relationship because I’ve been lying the whole damn time!”

“Saha, baby, just tell me what it is.”

“I’m....I was…I am transgender.” I could hear the blood curdling in my ears now.

“What? No, that’s not possible.” The look on hos face killed me a million times.

“I was born a boy and…”

“Sahara, why are you lying to me right now?Is this because I want you to move in?”

“My birth name was Emeka Odi and I had it legally changed to Sahara Hichesi when I…, when the law approved such surgery”

“Stop!” He jumped up from the sofa. “You’re lying. There’s no way. We’ve had sex! You have a puss.y! And not a fake one. I know what a puss.y looks and feels like, Sahan. Why are you lying?”

“I am not lying, Ki!” I stood up. “I have been on hormones for a very long time and I had sexual reassignment surgery when I was 22.

There’s a lot you don’t know about me. I’d always been very feminine and I absolutely hated being labeled as a boy. My stepdad, who I thought was my real dad, did unimaginable things to me…but the worst was when he threw me out. He turned my mother against me and had me thrown out at age fifteen.”

“I don’t believe you.” He said. Sweat erupting on his face.

“Have you ever seen me actually use a tampon or maxi pad? You’ve seen me buy them but have you ever seen any used ones in my trashcan in the bathroom? And have you ever seen me take birth control pills? I’m not on anything, Kachi. I would be pregnant right now if I had ovaries and a uterus and fallopian tubes because we never use condoms. I am trans!”

“You’ve been lying to me this whole time? Why?”

“I just…I’ve been through it all and I wanted to have what all my friends have had. I lied to you because I knew you were the kind of man I have spent my entire adult life looking for. And now I’m okay with losing it all. I’m okay with losing you because I deserve to lose you. You deserve a real woman who can have your babies and…”

“You could’ve told me on our first date, Sahara. Did you think I’d be mean to you?”

“Yes. You have no idea what I’ve been through. I’ve been beaten and threatened by men who were all good while they were fucking me but the moment they learned that I’m trans, they snapped. Kachii, I’ve been…I’ve been raped. I’ve had guns pulled on me and knives put up to my throat. One man knocked me unconscious and when I came to, I was…”
I got choked up and had to grab my stomach. "I was beside a dumpster far out in building material Market. He’d hit me so hard that I’m lucky to be alive today. So yes, I was afraid of telling you; especially after we got serious.”

“Saha, you know me. I wouldn’t put my hands on you like that. That’s not who I am. We’ve talked about trusting each other so many times and you didn’t even trust me enough to tell me you’re transgender. I worked hard to earn your trust.”

“I know.”

“And I’ve never been on some macho masculinity bullshit so I don’t understand why you just didn’t tell me. I know some stupid niggas have done painful stuff to you but you should’ve known that I’m not like that. I’m one of the guys trying to change all that, Sahara. I try to talk sense into every dude that steps foot in my barbershop. I tell them that there’s nothing better to be in this world than a black man, and that real black men hold up their community. And most importantly, any black man who loves and respects all black people the way he does himself is a real black man. That love and respect is unconditional.”

Tears filled his eyes, which made me cry more than I already was.

“So, you’re not angry with me?”

“I’m upset that you lied to me but the only thing I’m angry about is something you said a few minutes ago.”

“What did I say?”

“You said that I deserve a real woman. Baby, you are a real woman. So I don’t ever wanna hear you say that again. You said I’m the kind of man you spent your whole life looking for. Well, you’re the kind of woman I’ve spent my whole life looking for. My attraction to you goes further than just your beauty. I love you body and soul.”

“And I love you.”

He kissed me and then wiped his eyes before asking, “Now, is there any other reason why you can’t move in with me?”

I laughed and cried tears of joy as I threw my arms around his neck and held onto him. I truly was overjoyed in that moment. I knew it was going to take time for everything to get back to normal, but I could see how committed he was to working it out with me. That man loved me and I loved him right back. Kachi was the man of my dreams.

Chapter Three

Things always Turn Ugly

Before Forgiveness, For us, our total involvement was at stake, and it is the act of contrition, of forgiveness, perhaps of subtle restitution - that make it possible for us to become more, “to lift ourselves above ourselves”.

I must admit, i had not expect him to be so candid with my confession. The weight that evaporated off my heart as he's kind face beheld me could be likened to a dentist skillfully extracting a decayed tooth, relieving one of the cruel torture of toothache. Maybe i went overboard here with this allusion, but indeed, i was absolved and light as a freshly molted butterfly.

That night would have been magic. A bliss made in the autogenous part of heaven by the most naive cherub. But Something was in the offing.

First, came the Rain.

We cuddled deep inside a duvet, hoping for pleasant dreams as we often do when storms like that take on the night. We did not make love but we were just okay, basking in each other's warmth.

Then a few hours into the night, a frenetic hammering on the metal door of the small flat ushered in Nightmare.

Bossman. I'm here. Keep up.