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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Weekend Gist-diary Of A 30yr Old Single Lady Episode 1. (1177 Views)
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Weekend Gist-diary Of A 30yr Old Single Lady Episode 1. by rosyandchic(f): 12:04pm On Nov 25, 2016 |
The hustle for husband became real after my youth service. All my girlfriends were either getting married or engaged. Those who are neither married nor engaged already have a man who they swear must marry them or………………… One day I was in a bus when my eyes caught a church banner displayed along the road and it reads: *The return of his glory. Need a husband? Come and collect one.* I quickly noted down the address and made up my mind to go the following day. The next day, I woke up very early so as to be the first to get to the church.* who knows how many girls that must have seen the banner huh? They might be writing names and picking numbers sef. Abeg make I rush so that my number go be no 1* I reasoned. Just then my phone rang, it was my girlfriend Anita.* Hello babe wattsup? * " Anita how far na?" i asked impatiently *I’m fine o; I’m on my way to your house now* *Hei wait I’m going out o* i said quickly *Where to?* she asked *Somewhere* i replied curtly. *OK, wait for me let me accompany you* I quickly switched off my phone, wore my cloth and dashed out of the house, *this girl na monitoring spirit o, don’t worry by the time you get here, you will not see me, follow follow demon! I rushed down to the church and met the pastor.*welcome sister, God bless you* *Bless you too pastor, errmmm………….without wasting much time, I saw your banner along okpara avenue.* *Yes..? He enthused *So I’m here to grab my own husband*. I answered excitedly. The man became weak; he released a deep long breath. Me, I just siddon kampe dey watch am. No time for nonsense. After all na dem find me first. *Sister first of all, are you born again? He asked *Gbam! I gave my life to Christ since 1999.* I answered sharply *When was the last time you slept with a man?* *Whaaaaat?* *I mean do you commit fornication?* he queried. Which kain question be all this eh?" i asked getting worked up. *It’s alright sister* he said calmly. The pastor started flipping through his bible. Me, I was busy darting my eyes here and there trying to locate where they kept the husbands. I want to select Mr tall dark and handsome before it runs out of stock. No time for nonsense! The pastor’s voice jolted me back to reality.*sister the bible said in the book of Mathew…….. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and its righteousness, all other things shall be added unto you. ......Husband is not a problem. *Really? Then dash me one, make I dey go. Time no dey!" i screamed *OK, firstly you have to come for deliverance for seven days. Secondly, you have to become our member, attend all our services both morning and evening, thirdly………* I couldn’t take it anymore. I stood up angrily and lashed out at him, *See una life eh! I dey my own dey mind my business. Una carry husband matter come put for road, now give me the husband, na so so tori. If I swear for you, if I carry bad mind swear for you eh, your anointing go turn to annoyance, rubbish! I picked my bag and stormed out. So much trouble for ordinary husband biko! To read other episodes and more scintillating stories, go to www.rosyandchic..com |
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