https://www.nairaland.com/2827227/someone-please-me-before-kill

Majority of those who read my previous long epistle will agree with me when i say that 2015 was savage to its making me feel like a failure. And as for those that didn't create the time out to read it (i know there are people like that cos most nairalanders and Nigerians don't like long epistle), Here's the summary of it all;
-Got admitted in the 09/10 academic session.
-Failed a class and was asked to repeat (extending my 4yr course to 5yrs)
-Had a spillover at final year (extending to 6yrs in school and had to lie to my folks about nysc when they asked)
-And finally what made me feel suicidal. Splashed in my spillover yr(that is a 2nd spillover extending to 7yrs in school)
Its worth the read though that's why i copied and pasted the page of my last epistle.
For those who might be going through the same situation,those who will go through it and come to nairaland seeking for answers and perhaps those wondering what later happened to me, i decided to right on my past experiences over the last one year.
Here we go.

January started on a sort of mixed feeling vibe for me though. I still had a job and was paid well but I always still rememberd my school issues. I checked the school calender and found out that the exam was going to be in February ending. Fast forward to February, I still had no idea whatsoever on what to do in order to come out of that mess successfully. I tried reading but couldn't comprehend what I was reading. I just left everything to God (as i always have) and just agreed that "Que sera sera".

It was time for me to travel so i told a colleague that I was working with but on a different shift that he should cover up for me while I was away and I'll pay him for each day. Which he agreed to do.

It was 1 week to the exam and I was set to travel but still, i had not told my dad about the situation on ground. I thought about writing a letter and dropping it on his table before travelling. My mom told me to man up and tell him face to face. I finally made a decision and told my mum to tell him immediately i travel and i will switch off my phone to avoid questions from my dad and others that will be wondering about where i went to and about my nysc. Prior, i had bought a new line that I'd be using to communicate with people that I needed to get info from. I just wanted to stay off the grid from some people.

Meanwhile, lalasticlala, please do the needful. People will like to see this.

You need to seriously study the source of your problems, you need to to draw up a calendar TP ease up stress, get someone to do tutorial for you and as for keeping your parent in the loop, I don't totally support that, it is true you may think they won't understand, they may feel disappointed at first but get them to understand you and above all, understand yourself, your strength and weakness. Don't see suicide as a last resort, you still have a success story to tell.

And so I got to my destination. I called my mom and told her she should tell my dad about what happened. She called me about an hour later and told me how disappointed my dad was after she told him. I later sent a message telling my dad that i was going to be spending another extra year in school and i was sorry for disappointing him. I switched off my phone for good. But from time to time, I switch it back on to read messages. I got a text from him telling me how he couldn't sleep the night my mum told him and how furious he was but still he's wishing me good luck.

The exams were approaching very fast and I had no knowledge whatsoever of the courses i was about to write. I contacted my lecturer friend that has been helping me in the past few years. To those who read the last year article,Yes,it was that same lecturer. He told me that there might be a way out in one of the courses and I'll have to pay 30k for it. I agreed immediately. Because i just needed to pass one course and I'll be a graduate.

On the day of the exam, the runs was done. All that i needed to do was to wait for the result as i always have been. I was still praying though. No matter what, I couldn't leave God out of my situations. It was just impossible. I had four other courses to write and since there was no "way" in all the courses, i just went to the exam hall, took attendance, wrote a few things and left the hall, in all four of them.

I couldn't go back to ph where I stayed cos I felt the heat was still on. I needed it to die down a little. So i traveled to stay with my aunt in another state. I got a job there so it took my mind off the anxiety i was feeling about the result.still it was only normal for me to ponder on what would become of me if I eventually fail that exam and not graduate, knowing fully well that that was my terminal year. A few Months later,my mum told me that my dad was scheduled to come to the place i was. That gave me a huge fright cos i really wasn't ready to have a face to face meeting with the man. It happened though. He came and asked about the happenings in the school as pertaining my result. He was a little bit cool about the issue though but out of five sentences he makes, he uses at least one to remind me that I messed up. When he traveled back, we started talking regularly so I knew I was now in the okay with my dad. Few months later I felt so ill that i almost lost my life and my parents told me to come back home instead of disturbing my aunt and her family that really aren't doing too good financially. I came back home to ph in the month of September and I had a good reception at home. I recovered from my illness and not long after,my elder bro told me of a job recruitment going on.

That was the day.

wydmag:
You need to seriously study the source of your problems, you need to to draw up a calendar TP ease up stress, get someone to do tutorial for you and as for keeping your parent in the loop, I don't totally support that, it is true you may think they won't understand, they may feel disappointed at first but get them to understand you and above all, understand yourself, your strength and weakness. Don't see suicide as a last resort, you still have a success story to tell.

Young man wait your turn. I'm writing on something that has already happened and what i went through, okay? Sit back, relax and enjoy the story.

.......

I went to the company to submit my letter of application for the job and I got a phone call from my friend congratulating me on having graduated. It was just shocking for me but what shocked me more was when he told me that i graduated with a 2'2. Meanwhile i had resigned my mind to the fact that if i really am going to graduate, it definitely will be a 3rd class. The joy i felt that day knew no boundaries as I immediately called my mom screaming the good news to her. Not knowing that my dad was there with her. I got home that day and told my dad and trust the man na. He acted as though he hadn't heard the news already. He congratulated me and brought out two bottles of wine to celebrate with. My close relations that also heard the news called to congratulate me as well. To top my chart of what i consider to be a great year, few weeks later, i was sent a text message that I've gotten the job i had earlier applied for and few days ago, I just got my 3rd salary with the company.

Let me just conclude by taking an excerpt from the great Master Oogway of Kung Fu Panda. "Yesterday is history, today is a mystery and tomorrow is a gift, that's why it's called 'present'".

You might be going through something that makes you get suicidal thoughts but just hold on. There's no tunnel that does not have light at its other end. Let go and let God cos you don't know what He has in store for you. My prayer for you is that the same God that did it for me this year turning my tears to cheers will do it for you as well.

To all those that advised me to forget about God that He isn't real, i hope you all are still alive to read my testimony. I forgive you for that advice in the same way God has forgiven you too. Some might be saying that it was money i paid to graduate and not God. Well, i don't need to tell you that there are people who pay money in cases like mine and don't get the desired result.Who came to my rescue when i had a life threatening illness? GOD. Is it money that made me to get this job I have now? NO. It was God.

How the events of this year took a very positive turn is just inexplicable. And now I can say with smiles all over my face "Oh, what a year".

Seun
Lalasticlala
Ishilove
Please take this to the promised land.

Chilling

wydmag:
You need to seriously study the source of your problems.

His No1 problem is....

I just left everything to God (as i always have) and just agreed that "Que sera sera".

stabas2:

If dropping my problems at the feet of my Master is what you'd call a problem, then I'll keep facing that problem.

Bro... It's people like you that give Christianity bad. You left everything for God your father and then you paid 30k for rons just incase God fails to deliver. You're no different from corrupt politicians

stabas2:

Butthole

Just when I was beginning to think you're a Christian.

Congrats Bro, Tough times don't last, only tough people do.

Kondomatic:
His No1 problem is....

If dropping my problems at the feet of my Master is what you'd call a problem, then I'll keep facing that problem.
Butthole

I really don't know what to say about our contemporary religious persons, especially the so called Christians.

You paid a lecturer 30k to pass a course which you didn't prepared for and still claim God helped you passed it. What about those who studied hard but failed? Didn't God see them abi? What happen to the biblical, "God will bless the fruit of your labour". Oh, I forgot, God practice selective favouritism.

On your illness, it is very sad to know that you've chosen to give all the credits to God while neglecting the roles and contributions the drugs/doctors played in ensuring you get well. Abi na only prayer make you well.

All in all, I'm happy for you and wish you all the best in the coming year.

That is destiny at work @op.You have become a testimony same year you wanted to commit sucide.
Lesson to learn: You are the product of your decisions in life; either good or bad you take responsibility of that decision and its consequence.
Congrats @op.

Make I help you buy rat poison..... Who cares

Bros I like your story and I'm happy for you.

But this your issue of God helped you bla bla annoys me. You helped yourself, that's the fact.

God didn't help you write your exams, He didn't read for you and he definitely didn't pay for your runs.

When you had a life threatening illness, he helped you? Bullshit. Was he the doctor/nurse or herbal healer who treated you? Did he pay for your medication? Why attribute it to him when it's clear the doctors or whoever it was was good and did their job. If you need to thank someone, thank the person who treated you.

Perhaps when you had the life threatening illness, you should have stayed at home and hoped to get cured miraculously.

Tiri gbosa for yemi2plus and mille.

stabas2:
Seun
Lalasticlala
Ishilove
Please take this to the promised land.

After concocting this fictional tale supposedly to garner hope and faith in life, you had to make your fiction obvious by calling on the mods to push your post to frontpage.


I leave the rest of my comments for Nairalanders to say...

@stabas2 why u no pay for runz when you were in 300l? u must taken your education for granted when u were still in school. congrats

Bikonu just rejoice with the op. I don't agree with some of the things he did but who am I to judge him. You need to be in his shoes to determine if you would have taken a different step. Congratulations bro!